Nov 4 2009Aw, sweet, Kelly Brook brought donuts!
It's Hump Day, so I figured we'd start the the morning off with a topless Kelly Brook brandishing assorted pastries. Wait, no coffee? Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. Tell you what, you go fetch a pot and I'll hold onto your danishes...
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Oct 30 2009Heidi Klum is all kinds of nude
It's Friday, so I honestly can't think of better way to start the day than Heidi Klum all kinds of naked and covered in chocolate sauce. Here she is in photographer Rankin's just-released coffee table book Heidilicious which is probably the most moving reading experience I've had since that time a stripper punched me in the face for reading The Da Vinci Code during a laptop dance. How was I supposed to put that thing down with all the suspense and Jesus wifery?
Pics link to NSFW versions.
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Oct 20 2009Dita Von Teese topless lesbian photos
These are never-before-seen shots of Dita Von Teese in a 1999 lesbian photo shoot that some Indiana Jones-esque hero unearthed then immediately sold to Splash News instead of putting them in a museum, where they belong. In the meantime, for those of you who think I'm just posting porn now, it's not porn if it's in black and white. That's in the Bible.
Pics are NSFW. Obviously.
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Oct 19 2009Lily Allen is topless again. Go figure.
It's been 10 whole days since we've last seen Lily Allen's breasts, so here she is in Venice late last week standing topless on a balcony for no apparent reason. I love how her boyfriend Sam Cooper tries to cover up her breasts with his hands as if they're both shocked people are looking at her. Because generally when people see bare breasts their first reaction is to look the other way instead of saying "Holy shit, look at that chick's tits" which I'm pretty sure would've been the Pope's reaction. (Not a crack at Lily looking like a small boy. Entirely.)
NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions.
Oct 13 2009Shauna Sand's topless sex tape cover
Here's the cover for Shauna Sand's upcoming sex tape which she claims was never authorized because that tactic worked out awesome for the Armenian chick with the gigantic ass. Except one small problem, every one and their mother has seen Shauna's naked breasts by this point, and Kim Kardashian doesn't look like she died five years ago but continues to walk among us in search of more collagen. (Yet.)
NSFW version here.
Sep 11 2009Lily Allen is topless again. What are the odds?
Lily Allen poses topless for the October issue of GQ UK, and based on her inability to wear a bra, I can only assume Lily was molested by a Victoria's Secret mannequin as a small child. That her or her stepmother was a cardigan with a penchant for cruelty. Could go either way.
NOTE: Pic links to NSFW version of British charm.
Continue Reading "Lily Allen is topless again. What are the odds?"
Sep 8 2009Milla Jovovich is totally nude
Milla Jovovich appears completely nude in the Fall/Winter issue of Purple which makes her Maxim shoot look like, well, a Maxim shoot. In the meantime, I'm trying to figure out the storyline here, and I'm guessing Milla is a young woman who just moved into a new apartment and thought waving her vagina over the boxes would magically unpack them. For the record, ladies, this actually works. But only if you have a spotter. (I'm free all day.)
NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that should make you evaluate how much you really like your job.
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Sep 1 2009Adrianne Curry tweets topless
Apparently Adrianne Curry posted a topless pic of herself on Twitter the other day although, technically, her hand's in the way, so she should be tried for treason. But that's just me. In the meantime, I included some other pics she had up because a.) she's in a bikini and b.) this is probably the only time I've ever wanted to be C-3PO. Not counting that scene in Empire Strikes Back when he cockblocks Han Solo. "Oh, I'm sorry, were you two about to space-do it? Because the hyperdrive broke. FACE!"
