Nov 5 2009Mariah Carey hates your eyes
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume Mariah Carey was the creative director for this video because there's absolutely no way somebody else made a business decision where the end result is her doughy torso in a bathing suit. To put things in perspective, Nick Cannon probably looked at these then punched his penis in a corner until he lost consciousness or was told to put on his tux and serve Mariah's lunch. (I still haven't figured out how their marriage works.)
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Nov 4 2009Hayden Panettiere in Swedish Elle and other news
- Gwyneth Paltrow flirts with death by skipping a Madonna-sanctioned function. [Lainey Gossip]
- Chantelle Houghton is important. Trust me. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are apparently into freaky shit. [Just Jared]
- Joanna Krupa defends Playboy. [PopEater]
- Hugh Jackman has a dire penis emergency. [Celebslam]
- Natalie Portman does V Magazine which sadly does not include lizard people. [PopSugar]
- Heidi Klum will host - but not walk - at this year's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. [The Blemish]
- Josh Duhamel is fucking everyone! [Socialite Life]
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Oct 30 2009Britney Spears debuts '3'
Britney Spears debuted the video for "3" on her official blog today, and if you had any concerns about her not being able to hack it as a stripper once she drowns her career in Frappucinos and crazy, this thing should put those fears to rest. Britney's clearly mastered the key skills of wearing a revealing swimsuit, hanging from objects and rocking the thighs of a field hockey player. Granted, she may refuse crumpled up bills if they don't smell like bacon, I'm confident she'll adapt over time/enough trips to Wendy's dollar menu. (She responds to repetition.)
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Oct 15 2009Pamela Anderson goes back to the well
Here's Pamela Anderson in her old Baywatch swimsuit at Funkshion Fashion Week in Miami yesterday, and I had no idea the ravages of time counted as fashion these days. Along with bruises.. These are pics from a women's shelter, aren't they? Awkward.
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Aug 24 2009Helena Bonham Carter in a swimsuit. (I'm sorry.)
Proving that Goth chicks should stick to reading Twilight at Denny's, Helena Bonham Carter was spotted at Malibu Beach over the weekend wearing a swimsuit, and I honestly don't know why I'm posting these. Seriously, I've only had ten five coffee mugs of whiskey today, so it's not like I'm drunk. Back me up, desk chair I dressed up like Wonder Woman. What's that? You want to have a baby? But we just met.
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Aug 18 2009Madonna vs. The Sun: The Battle Continues...
Here's Madonna in Portofino, Italy celebrating her 51st birthday and, yes, she's wearing a jersey with her own name on it. Because a woman who parades around on stage in fishnets can't wear a bathing suit, she has to look like LeBron James after a terrible bleaching accident. As if that's not bad enough, after jumping into the water, Madonna finds the sun's rays to be too harsh and makes an assistant swim out to her. Holding an umbrella. Jesus. Could you imagine if the water was too cold? "Hey. Somebody swim out here and build me a fire. Madonna demands warmth!"
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Continue Reading "Madonna vs. The Sun: The Battle Continues..."
Jul 29 2009Eliza Dushku poses for FHM
Because it's Hump Day, here's Eliza Dushku posing for the September issue of FHM. And for the record, that was not an endorsement to get freaky with your computer. Unless you plan on marrying it.
Jul 16 2009Ines Sastre in a swimsuit
Here's Spanish actress/model Ines Sastre on the beach in Marbella Tuesday. You may remember her from such films as Par-delà les nuages and Estela Canto, un amor de Borges which was practically the Spanish version of The Dark Knight. Minus the parts with Batman and the Joker.
NOTE: Apparently, Ines is currently the face of Lancome. -- Why not?
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