Apr 21 2009Rihanna can't quit Chris Brown
- Rihanna still texting Chris Brown. Jesus. Now I want to punch her. But I won't because I'm a gentleman - which is why I hired a hooker to do it. Go get her, Boots! [Celebslam]
- Robert Downey, Jr. attends premiere of The Soloist with Jamie Foxx. Oh, so that's why he said all that crazy Miley Cyrus shit. Here I thought it was because of a sincere desire to see some Hannah boob. You deceived me, Jamie Foxx! [Lainey Gossip]
- Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt take Zahara and Shiloh grocery shopping. Meanwhile, the other children are each given knives and trapped in the basement with a rat. -- Ha, I'm joking. They had guns. [Just Jared]
- Snoop Dogg gets his own wax statue at Madame Tussaud's in Vegas. In preparation for her next trip to Sin City, Britney Spears has been informed its not made of chocolate. Good luck with that. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Tony Romo spends his birthday without Jessica Simpson. How do you celebrate a birthday without giant breasts? Is that legal? [Radar Online]
- Tommy Lee hopes to use this Internet machine to score chicks. If you been chatting with TomDongItchLong, congratulations, there's tour bus sex in your future. Bring rubber boots. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Apr 16 2009Amy Winehouse & Snoop Dogg: What could go wrong?
Seen here in St. Lucia this week, Amy Winehouse apparently attempted to record some tracks with Snoop Dogg. You can guess how that turned out. The Sun reports:
The dope-smoking duo collaborated on a pair of tracks in Los Angeles last year though they were too stoned to finish them.
A source said: "Amy came to the studio buzzing with ideas and the pair got on really well, even though Snoop turned up in his dressing gown with slippers on, which had Amy giggling.
"They were working at a frenetic pace at first but as the day wore on and more smoke breaks took place, the work rate slackened. By the time their studio time ended they had a pair of tracks sketched out but no finished product."
The day wasn't a total loss however. The two built a spaceship out of nachos and managed to record a twenty minute diatribe on why Fraggle Rock is just like the government. Also, Amy ate a cat. -- I'm kidding, it was a microphone.
Continue Reading "Amy Winehouse & Snoop Dogg: What could go wrong?"
Apr 10 2009Tina Fey out-earned Britney Spears in 2008
- Tina Fey made twice as much money as Britney last year. Holy shit, there is a God! Who fucking knew? -- I should probably stop swearing like an asshole. [PopSugar]
- Robert Pattinson films the sequel to that movie with the vampires in Vancouver. This time, he's going to brood your face off! [Lainey Gossip]
- Vince Shlomi crime scene photos to put you in the true Easter spirit. Is that a colorful egg? Nope, just a condom. Whee! [Celebslam]
- Billy Bob Thornton's asshole extravaganza interview gets parodied by Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter. [Videogum]
- Snoop Dogg has started streaming live video of himself smoking up in the middle of the afternoon. This officially makes his day ten times more productive than mine. Then again, I did eat a Pop Tart. I win! [Vulture]
Continue Reading "Tina Fey out-earned Britney Spears in 2008"
Feb 18 2009Paris Hilton survived another year
Paris Hilton celebrated her 28th birthday yesterday in New York City where she's attending the Mercedes-Benz Fall 2009 Fashion Week. To absolutely no one's surprise, she spent the day acting like a rude, vapid attention whore with a misplaced sense of entitlement. Whee! NY Daily News reports:
The Hiltons then multitasked via BlackBerry, Googling and demanding free dresses while the show was underway. Nicky even e-mailed one poor staffer to say that none of the bags of free things sent to their hotel room "worked" for her, and she'd be needing more.
Later, at the Alice Olivia show, Paris got personal with fellow guests, saying she's "just friends" with "Hills" star Doug Reinhardt and debunking the rumor they've been dating. She then shared she's been in the studio "working on my second album. It's going to be fierce."
Finally, at her birthday dinner, Paris treated the main floor of Butter as if it were a runway, vamping back and forth before heading downstairs to dance on a banquette.
To commemorate this occasion, I included Paris' freestyle rapping on Snoop Dogg's Dogg After Dark after the jump. And by commemorate I mean increased her chances of being targeted in a drive-by shooting. Happy Birthday!
Feb 12 2009Snoop Dogg just lost his street cred. All of it.
I don't know what's more damaging to Snoop Dogg's career: These photos of him with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt for his new show Dogg After Dark. Or finding out he's secretly a white plantation owner with slaves.
I'm gonna have to go with the photos.
Continue Reading "Snoop Dogg just lost his street cred. All of it."
Jun 16 2008Snoop Dogg's wife busted for DUI
Snoop Dogg's wife Shante was picked up in Orange County for DUI early Saturday morning, according to the AP:
Fullerton police Lt. Craig Brower says officers stopped 32-year-old Shante (Shahn-taye) Broadus of Sherman Oaks about 12:15 a.m. Saturday and took her to jail. She was cited and then released pending a court appearance.
Brower says nobody else was in the car but he didn't have any other details.
I bet Snoop strolled into the station to pick up his wife and, suddenly, music starts playing while strippers drop from the ceiling. A hobo announces "IT'S SNOOP DIZZLE DOGGY D!" and all the cops realize they hate paperwork but love malt liquor. But, with a scratch of the record, Detective Partypooper (according to his name tag) says "Just a darn minute. This man's wife was arrested for DWI. That's no partying matter!" Then everyone just laughs while Black Riddler starts a conga line. For such is my understanding of the bail bond process.
