Nov 5 2009Mariah Carey hates your eyes
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume Mariah Carey was the creative director for this video because there's absolutely no way somebody else made a business decision where the end result is her doughy torso in a bathing suit. To put things in perspective, Nick Cannon probably looked at these then punched his penis in a corner until he lost consciousness or was told to put on his tux and serve Mariah's lunch. (I still haven't figured out how their marriage works.)
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Sep 3 2009Lindsay Lohan has breasts that are visible from the side
Benefiting from the news-suck created by the holiday weekend, here's Lindsay Lohan again working the sideboob while shopping Tuesday, and I can't decide if these are sexy or not. It's almost as if her breasts shouldn't even be there in the first place and replaced something else. Like a giant scar from a meth burn. Or a possum.
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Aug 12 2009Britney Spears' parenting skills are exactly what you'd think
Seen here yesterday in her braless, side boob splendor (Why did I use that word?), Britney Spears took her kids to a free swag event where they adorably swore like pirates, according to NY Daily News:
While the singer picked up goodies at a swag suite in L.A. last week, Sean Preston, 3, and Jayden James, 2, shocked guests by repeatedly yelling, "Oh shit!"
"We were all surprised by their potty mouths, but it was actually pretty funny," one onlooker acknowledged.
How did Britney respond to her sons' antics?
Said the source: "She was too busy picking out freebies to chastise the boys for misbehaving."
I'm actually impressed all they did was swear. I pictured the two of them fending off guests with butter knives before loading SpongeBob backpacks with turkey legs and cake like they practiced at home. "Mama finds veggies in them bags y'all gonna sleep in the garage again. Now, Jayden, you drive the getaway car while Sean stays behind and takes the rap."
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Jul 24 2009Lindsay Lohan has food named after her (Now with more side boob!)
Some marketing wizard thought it'd be a good idea to name a food item after Lindsay Lohan, so here she is at Millions of Milkshakes last night mixing up a milkshake named after her for the cameras. Surprisingly missing from these shots is the cleaning crew that came in afterward and essentially burned the place to the ground before salting the earth. In related news, the three children who tasted the Lindsay Shake are still missing though at this point it's a given their livers exploded, and they were eaten by coyotes. And now, sports!
EDIT: Added a new column full of side boob. Not exactly sure why...
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May 27 2009Kourtney Kardashian's nautical side-boob
Here's Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian filming scenes for their reality show in Miami. Granted, nobody's looking at anything but side-boob, I just wanted to make sure you guys knew this wasn't the set of Titanic 2: Revenge of Capt. Sasquatch. Or is it?
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Apr 22 2009Lindsay Lohan returns to her true love. (Besides coke.)
As predicted by pretty much everyone, Lindsay Lohan is using her new single status to go on a non-stop penis parade, according to Page Six:
The faux lesbian has been "a complete and utter wreck" since Ronson broke it off with her two weeks ago, and has been spending time with "a different man every night," said one concerned friend. Some of the guys include "90210" star Kellan Lutz -- who "has been out of town this week, but they are in constant contact," the friend said -- as well as British paparazzo Chris Jepson.
On April 15, Lohan and Jepson were inseparable at a Hollywood Hills house party. According to a spy, they even went into a bathroom together and didn't come out for quite some time.
As a heterosexual male, I should be excited about this news. Except as a human capable of sight I want someone to throw an axe at my eye. Side boob, thou hast betrayed me.
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Nov 12 2008Mariah Carey really wants you to see her side-boob
Mariah Carey rocked some insane side-boob at the 2008 World Music Awards in Monte Carlo where she received the Special Achievement Award. Fortunately, the producers made Mariah change her outfit later in the evening when they couldn't figure out why she kept smuggling pizza dough under her arms. Maybe in case she got hungry, they thought. Who knows?
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Aug 21 2008Lindsay Lohan's Side-boob Extravaganza!
Lindsay Lohan decided not to wear a bra yesterday which resulted in a plethora of side-boob viewage. That said, I can't tell if these pics are hot considering Lindsay's body looks exactly like E.T.'s pale brother, What's-His-Face? Oh, right: Kirsten Dunst.
