Oct 2 2009David Letterman stuck his penis in things. Also, something about extortion.
David Letterman candidly revealed on his show last night that he was involved in a sting operation to stop a $2 million blackmail/extortion plot revolving around affairs he had with staffers, according to PopEater:
"In the back seat of my car, there's a package that I don't recognize. What this is is a guy is going to write a screenplay about me and he's going to take all the terrible stuff that he knows about my life and he's going to put it into a movie unless I give him some money," Letterman explained to the audience.
"Now of course we get to what is it. What was all the creepy stuff that he was going to put into the screenplay and the movie, and the creepy stuff that I had ... sex with women who work for me on the show. Now, my response to that is yes, I have," he continued.
CBS has confirmed the extortionist was a former 48 Hours producer Joe Halderman who RadarOnline reports lived with one of the staffers Letterman had sex with:
The affair happened a long time ago, before his son Harry was born, and before he got married, but he was living with his wife to be at the time.
Halderman needed money police say and decided to target Letterman.
The woman still works on the show but is no longer involved with David.
You know what the worst part about this whole ordeal is? I keep envisioning Paul Shaffer standing there with a keyboard during each romantic interlude:
And that's Dave coming, that's Dave coming, that's Daaaaaaaave coming.
Now go call a cab. Doo waa!
Scope Out Dave's Monologue After the Jump
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May 14 2009Rob Lowe's having a good week. Or a pricey one.
Rob Lowe is apparently cleaning up this week because he also ended the legal feud with his other former nanny, Laura Boyce, who claimed Sheryl Lowe told her she's always sick because she gives blowjobs to "n-ggers." You just read that. People reports:
Lowe, 45, had sued Boyce in April 2008 for defamation and violating her confidentiality agreement, while Boyce alleged sexual harassment by his wife, Sheryl, accusing the actor's wife of using racial and sexual epithets during her seven-month employment with the Lowes.
Sheryl Lowe denied any wrongdoing, and multiple witnesses provided sworn statements that it was Boyce who frequently used the "n" word in conversation.
In both cases, neither side would disclose if a settlement took place, but let's assume the Lowes will stick to taking care of their children the old-fashioned way: Paying illegal immigrants under the table.
May 14 2009Rob Lowe shuts up one nanny, one more to go
Remember last year when Rob Lowe's nanny Jessica Gibson decided to go on a media blitzkrieg and claim he's a masturbating fool? Well, she's dismissed her lawsuit which just leaves the other nanny who claims his wife Sheryl is a racist bag of sexual harassment. But, honestly, who isn't? People reports:
The war between Rob Lowe and one of his former nannies, Jessica Gibson, has ended, with both sides requesting their lawsuits be dismissed, court records show.
It's unknown if a financial settlement was involved. Lawyers for both sides had no comment.
Lowe, 45, preemptively sued Gibson in Santa Barbara County Superior Court in April 2008, alleging she was trying to blackmail him and his family unless he paid her $1.5 million. Within days, Gibson filed a sexual harassment suit against Lowe and his wife, Sheryl, claiming he groped and exposed himself to her over her seven-year employment with the Lowes.
Here's what I don't understand: When did sexual harassment become a crime in this country? I mean, men make more money than woman and therefore deserve a little-- Why is our entire legal department running towards me and yelling "Stop!"? Is this because our receptionist now owns the company after I asked her on a date? In my pants? I didn't feel like driving to Olive Garden. Sue me. -- Okay, maybe I should stop saying things like that.
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Feb 11 2009Prince Harry makes another racist remark
Prince Harry is facing criticism again after allegedly making a racist remark to comedian Stephen K. Amos who performed for his father. Harry had been in trouble before for making a comment about a Pakistani officer in his army unit. This time he could've been making a joke but instead completely failed. Something I know absolutely nothing about. The Daily Mirror reports:
Speaking on Five’s The Wright Stuff yesterday, Amos said it came as he lined up with other stars after the performance.
He explained: “Harry said, ‘Hello, tell me, amusing… but you don’t sound like a black chap.”
As fellow panellist Lowri Turner gasped along with presenter Wright, Amos added: “I wanted to say, (putting on an accent) ‘How is I supposed to sound?’” Asked if the remark had been made in jest, he replied: “I hope it was.” But Turner scoffed: “That’s not the point.”
I, too, want to know how Amos was supposed to sound because, basing this solely on Guy Ritchie movies, British black guys sound exactly like British white guys. And both are hilarious jewel thieves. That's science.
Dec 7 2008Miley Cyrus surprisingly cavalier about pissing off the Bible Belt again
After essentially being locked in Disney prison for exposing her bare back on the cover of Vanity Fair, you'd think Miley Cyrus would be hesitant to work with Annie Leibovitz again. Nope. Turns out she hates all that sweet Wal-Mart money and is contemplating another photo shoot. Maybe even this time with more ankle. Avert your eyes, children! Page Six reports:
"Everyone outside of America liked it a little bit more . . . The States are really conservative." And she gushed over Leibovitz, "She was amazing and so talented . . . I would love to work with her again."
"The States are really conservative." Interesting. This just in: Miley Cyrus has been kicked out of the South. The Hannah Montana star is not permitted below the Mason-Dixon line without first surviving a snake bite then agreeing that "rasslin' is real on that there picture box."
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Nov 19 2008Ashley Dupre stretches those 15 minutes, gives first interview on Eliot Spitzer scandal
Turns out "former" call girl Ashley Alexander Dupre isn't quite done whoring herself out yet. In the latest issue of People, Ashley gives her first interview about being ensnared in the FBI investigation that led to the resignation of her frequent client New York Governor Eliot Spitzer. (Bikini photos added for journalistic emphasis.):
On the real Ashley:
"I am a normal girl. Everyone knows me as 'that girl,' but I'm not just 'that girl.' I have a lot of depth, a lot of layers."
On not knowing who Eliot Spitzer was:
"Some guys, they want to have conversations and really get to know each other. With him, it clearly was not like that. It was more of a transaction. Strictly business. I was there for a purpose – not to wonder who [he] could be."
On becoming a prostitute:
"This wasn't any different than going on a date with someone you barely knew and hooking up with them," she reasoned. "The only difference is I can pay my rent."
On how her mother found out:
Once the FBI told her they were looking into one of her clients, Dupré says she was forced to confide in her homemaker mother, Carolyn, that she was turning tricks.
"It was extremely painful for her," Dupré says, though "my mother wasn't angry. She was supportive."
- -
"This wasn't any different than going on a date with someone you barely knew and hooking up with them." - Ashley Alexandra Dupre, hooker, poet, dream girl.
She had me at "I was there for a purpose." *sigh*
Jul 2 2008Rob Lowe's wife seems really awesome to work for - if you're in the Klan
The Lowe family seems fantastic to work for. In their ongoing legal battle with former nannies accusing them of everything from unpaid wages to flagrant masturbation, new accusations have arisen. Another ex-nanny, Laura Boyce, is claiming Sheryl Lowe made racially slurred accusations when she called in sick. Sheryl, fancying herself a doctor, issued her own diagnosis revolving around fellatio and minorities. Huh. Missed that episode of House. TMZ reports:
A former Lowe nanny has filed new legal papers, reiterating her most shocking claim -- that when she tried to call in sick to work one day, Sheryl Lowe yelled the reason for her illness was "she got strep throat from sucking n****r d**k. I mean black d**k."
"At the time," Boyce says, "I was dating an African-American man."
Well, these accusations prove one thing: Sheryl Lowe is a frequent commenter on this site! Ha! I kid. (Maybe.) Anyway, I love how Sheryl tries to smooth things over by saying "I mean black dick" after dropping the N-word. Because that softens the blow of accusing an entire race of carrying disease in their wangs. That's like lighting someone completely on fire then saying "Shit, my bad. Have a wetnap."
Jun 30 2008Rob Lowe's ex-nanny is 'allegedly' a giant crazy whore
A new chapter has begun in the Rob Lowe sex scandal that everyone forgot about. James Maclear, a former chef for the Lowe's, filed a declaration Friday that the ex-nanny accusing Rob of sexual harassment might be a cock-crazy psycho. Legally speaking. TMZ reports:
James Maclear says he worked for the Lowes as a chef from June to December 2005. In that time, he claims Jessica Gibson had an "overtly flirtatious manner." He says within hours of meeting her she "changed into hot pants and was laying on the kitchen floor with her legs open in a very suggestive manner."
He also says Gibson aggressively pursued him -- on several occasions telling him "she was very horny" -- even though he told her he had a girlfriend. He says once at a friend's birthday party Gibson paraded around a pizza joint singing the Pussycat Dolls' "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me" directly to his girlfriend.
James Maclear also claims that he never saw Rob flirt with Jessica and that she'd been reported to her supervisor for her "constant sexual innuendo." Intriguing. There's only one way to get to the bottom of this: I'll have sex with this so-called nanny which will allow me to prove if she was molested by Rob Lowe. I think. The important thing is I'll lose my virginity. Ha ha, I kid. I lost it weeks ago to The Geekologie Writer's mom. Best bumper car ride EVER.
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