Sep 18 2009Lindsay Lohan's probably going back to rehab
The NYPD removed Lindsay Lohan from the Bowery Hotel in New York last night after she straight flipped her shit outside Samantha Ronson's hotel room. Or what she thought was Samantha's room because gin's a tricky mistress. Hollyscoop reports:
Police were called to the scene after Lindsay reportedly "threw a room-service tray at what she thought was her girlfriend's door" during a heated fight.
The only problem was...she threw that tray at the wrong door. As a result Lindsay was kicked out of the posh hotel, with authorities escorting her off the premises.
The same source claims Lindsay's friends and family are planning on staging an intervention to get her back in rehab for the fourth time!
How many times does a person have to go to rehab until the word "lobotomy" enters the discussion? Or if that seems a little harsh, let's just lock Lindsay in a room loaded with coke up to her knees. She'll either OD and die happy or snort her way through the walls facilitating her new career as a Black Ops agent for the government. "Alright, Lindsay. The terrorists are behind this mountain - and they're holding. GO!"
Continue Reading "Lindsay Lohan's probably going back to rehab"
Jul 9 2009Lindsay Lohan knows how to do a B&E
Lindsay Lohan, or "Skulls O'Grady" as she'll now be called, locked herself out of Samantha Ronson's house last night and eventually broke in. But not before calling a locksmith who she refused to pay, according to The Sun:
The 23-year-old star walked around the entrance of the house as the locksmith started working on the door, watched by Lindsay's pal Christy.
She then found an open window and exclaimed, "What the f***, the lock just came undone. You know what sir, we already got in, thanks. We just broke in. We just found a way in."
She then refused to pay the man's call out fee, claiming he was asking for $300.
"He's trying to charge me $300. I've paid these guys before, $80 (£50), and now he wants money for trying to get me in, he didn't do his job!"
The star then offered the locksmith £13 ($20), before returning indoors and refusing to pay anything.
I love how during this whole debacle nobody thought to question if Lindsay Lohan was really supposed to be in Sam's house even while watching her essentially break in. I'm not saying it wasn't an innocent case of forgetting her keys, but I'm also not saying Sam wasn't missing a kidney this morning and Lindsay's now $5 grand richer.
Jul 3 2009Lindsay Lohan & Samantha Ronson eat out
Lindsay Lohan celebrated her actual birthday Thursday by going out to lunch with Samantha Ronson which makes absolutely no fucking sense to me. Granted, Sam's no looker, I still don't get what she's doing with Lindsay who, let's face it, has no money and the mental capacity of an eight-year-old on coke. Sure, she's a "celebrity," but technically so is that little kid on YouTube whose dad recorded him all gassed up from the dentist's office. Where's his gargoyle sugar mama?!
Jun 22 2009Lady Gaga understands showmanship
- Jessica Simpson's new reality show gets the green light. Because it's been far too long since America was reminded why she's our dumbest, breastiest treasure. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal wear matching outfits. Wow, and I seriously thought Perez Hilton would be the gayest thing I wrote about all day. [Lainey Gossip]
- Paris Hilton does more damage to aquatic life than the Exxon Valdez. [The Blemish]
- Cameron Diaz just now gets one of those Hollywood Star dealies. Guess they wanted to wait for just before the hot ran out. [Just Jared]
- Lindsay Lohan spends her weekend crying outside Samantha Ronson's house. Let's be frank, she's homeless, isn't she? [Celebslam]
- Sienna Miller is back with Balthazar Getty which means he must've remarried already. Damn, that was fast. [PopSugar]
Jun 17 2009Lindsay Lohan & Samantha Ronson quit each other's vaginas. Again.
Samantha Ronson kicked Lindsay Lohan to the curb again. But this time it's all the fault of Nicole Richie and her hatred of all things firecrotched. E! News reports:
"Nicole refuses even to be in the same room as Lindsay," says a source, noting that just last week Nicole invited Sam to a mutual friend's birthday party at Bar Marmont with the stipulation that she not bring Lindsay. "Sam went to the party, and it really upset Lindsay," says the source.
After Sam had dinner with Nicole at Izakaya last night, a source says she gave Linds the kiss-off.
Wow, everyone does hate Lindsay. If it makes her any feel better, she can always hang out with me, and not because it's basically a given she'll sleep with my landlord. That has nothing to do with this, but I can't be held responsible if he's already naked in my house holding a gun to my head sexier than a panther riding a motorcycle with like a chick who has stupid huge cans yeah write that stuff.
Continue Reading "Lindsay Lohan & Samantha Ronson quit each other's vaginas. Again."
Jun 9 2009Adam Lambert shocks pretty much no one
- Adam Lambert is gay. If you didn't know that, congratulations, you have a bright future in multiple cat ownership to look forward to. [Just Jared]
- Madonna is NOT adopting Mercy after all and false reports may have fucked the whole thing up. Unleash the Hydra! [Lainey Gossip]
- Mark-Paul Gosselaar just took his career out back and shot it in the head. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Kelly Clarkson is not a lesbian. She's just shaped like one. [Celebslam]
- Scarlett Johansson debuts her duet with Pete Yorn. Unless the entire song consist of her describing the circumference of her breasts, PASS. [ICYDK]
- Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson might be engaged. Or Lindsay's so malnourished she honestly believes they are. Who's to say? [PopSugar]
Jun 4 2009Lindsay Lohan's taste in DJs has improved
While she's in London with but not with Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan personally requested the DJ services of Lauren Pope (above) for the weekend, according to The Sun:
"I met Lindsay a few months back at Faces in Essex and she invited me to have a drink with her and her friends.
"She is a lovely girl and really sweet. I'm told she has requested me and my DJ partner Kellie to play for her on Saturday night at Studio Valbonne."
Huh. All this time I thought Sam had the penis, but now I'm starting to think Lindsay might be packing a fire-cock. Of course, none of that matters once Lauren is found beaten to death with a gargoyle. Oh, that Sam. Always leaving her calling card.
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Jun 4 2009Audrina Patridge sells burgers in a bikini and gets dumped
- Audrina Patridge just got kicked to the curb by Star Trek actor Chris Pine. Maybe this shot of her in a Carl's Jr. ad will change his mind. Or set his standards a little higher next time. Either one. [The Blemish]
- Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson continue their secret London romance. Of course, the only thing secret is Sam's penis. Kind of. [Lainey Gossip]
- Jessica Simpson and Denise Richards apparently go to the same tanning salon. ON THE SUN. [PopSugar]
- Heidi and Spencer are "everything that's wrong with America," says NBC exec - right before putting them back on prime time television. David Carradine, wait up. [ICYDK]
- Angelina Jolie turns 34 today. As a birthday gift to Angelina, The Superficial would like to point out that Jennifer Aniston is 40. You're welcome! [Just Jared]
