Nov 6 2009Katy Perry with Russell Brand's name on her ass
Katy Perry wore no less than 5,000 different outfits at the MTV EMAs last night, so here she is in a little lingerie number with Russell Brand's name on her ass which is probably the hottest thing a girl could do for her boyfriend. Or was until the part Katy where made a face that can only be described as Abe Vigoda having an orgasm. If Russell Brand can still get an erection after that, he's goddamn Kryptonian and should really be using his powers for the good of humanity. (Read: Reversing the Earth's rotation and stopping me from posting that last pic.)
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Oct 8 2009Russell Brand, I underestimated you
Katy Perry and Russell Brand arrived together for the John Galliano Fashion Show in Paris last week, and apparently Russell has cracked the greatest code known to man since the goddamn Enigma machine. Page Six reports:
The womanizing actor, who first locked lips with the "I Kissed a Girl" singer at an MTV Video Music Awards after-party, recently texted her a love poem he wrote himself, according to a friend. "It was cute," our source says. "And the best part is that Katy responded by sending him a topless photo of herself."
I think Russell Brand's friend is full of shit. I've sent Katy at least a million "love texts" without a response, and I'm starting to wonder how much this is going to cost me. Let's see, 10 cents per text times one million equals *punches in calendar* I have to sell myself into white slavery now. Awesome. Anyone know any non-rapey slave owners? I clean a mean window.
Oct 2 2009Hayden Panettiere wears short shorts and other news
- David Letterman's mistress was apparently a regular on sketches. [PopEater]
- Katy Perry and Russell Brand might be having weird, Britishy sex. [Lainey Gossip]
- Rihanna wears more crazy shit in Paris. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Ashlee Simpson is getting tired of Pete Wentz. It's a good thing she didn't have his baby. Oh, wait. [Celebslam]
- Lauren Conrad won't be acting in the movie adaptation of her book. She only memorized lines for The Hills. [PopSugar]
- Beyonce is Billboard's Woman of the Year. [Just Jared]
- Lindsay Lohan might have a twin. [The Blemish]
- Heidi Montag co-hosted The View today and somehow didn't open a portal of dumb consuming us all. Your guess is as good as mine. [Socialite Life]
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Sep 1 2009Kim Zolciak gets topless for gay marriage and other news
- Kim & Khloe Kardashian are a hawking a new weight loss product they claim to use. So.. when does it start working? [PopEater]
- Victoria Beckham makes no fucking sense. Why can't she just wear a bikini like Ginger? [Lainey Gossip]
- Aubrey O'Day hearts Castro and Hitler, but apparently not her career. [Celebslam]
- Ryan Phillippe is in MacGruber. If Aubrey O'Day and him were having a contest over who's career is ready to be euthanized, it'd be a tie. [PopSugar]
- The Jonas Brothers think it's a compliment to be made fun of by Russell Brand. They do know he's not Jesus, right? The long hair sometimes confuses people. [Socialite Life]
- Audrina Patridge threw the first pitch at last night's Dodger's game which proves God hates baseball. [ICYDK]
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Jul 13 2009Russell Brand shoots down Lindsay Lohan
Despite an on/off relationship with Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan reportedly attempted to hook up with Russell Brand last weekend at Diddy and Ashton Kutcher's Fourth of July party. Surprisingly, Russell turned her down even though he has a reputation for fucking pretty much anything in sight including a ton of prostitutes in Vegas Saturday night on Diddy's private jet. The Sun reports:
A source said: "Lindsay is a very good-looking girl and she is used to getting what she wants. Russell has been on her radar for a while now but he doesn't want anything to do with her. He finds her constant craving for attention and her heavy drinking a turn-off. It's not like he is short of female attention anyway." The comic jetted to Las Vegas with P Diddy yesterday and on a video blog, filmed en-route on the rapper's private plane, the pair joked that they would be using the services of some ladies of the night.
Jesus. Getting shot down by Russell Brand? That's like having a dildo sprout legs and say "Hell no, lady" before jamming itself in a light socket. Or Paris Hilton. Same diff.
Sep 10 2008Russell Brand offered hosting duties for next year's VMAs
British comedian Russell Brand has been asked to host the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards after giving the network a 20% ratings bump over last year's show. However, he's reluctant to accept after MTV censored some of his jokes aimed at Republican presidential candidate John McCain. Russell sat down with The Sun to talk about his experience:
On the gravity of hosting the VMAs:
"The VMAs are the hardest thing I have ever done and I will think very carefully before accepting their kind offer of doing it again. I spent a lot of time suppressing the urge to scream a career- ending remark during the show. The knowledge that you could say something that would make the world go nuts was difficult.”
On being censored:
But incredibly the script we heard was the clean version after MTV insisted he scrap some of his bravest gags. He revealed: “I had JOHN McCAIN gags pulled. And they asked me to tone down the gags about SARAH PALIN."
On what he couldn't say about Sarah Palin:
“I wanted to say she was forcing her teenage daughter to have a baby because she is so anti-abortion. But also, as a Republican, she is pro-execution so she is going to give her the electric chair for being a little sl*t. They weren’t keen on that one."
Somewhere Bill O'Reilly just fell in love with MTV. Unfortunately, he can't do anything with that love until Rush Limbaugh gets back with the Mexican Viagra. Life's a bitch sometimes.
Sep 8 2008The Jonas Brothers are virgins
If it wasn't bad enough that MTV rigged the VMAs to salvage Britney Spears' careers, the network also watered down the show by including sugary sweet performances from Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. The latter are sons of a preacher and apparently wear purity rings as a symbol of their virginity. This, of course, caught the attention of host comedian Russell Brand. Who? You got me. The AP reports:
Brand clearly angered some in attendance when he repeatedly joked about the Jonas Brothers, the sons of a pastor, all of whom wear purity rings as a symbol of their vow not to have premarital sex. At one point, Brand brandished one as if he had won it from a Jonas brother.
"American Idol" champ Jordin Sparks defended them: "I just wanna say, it's not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and a girl wants to be a slut, OK?"
Brand responded by apologizing, before slyly offending again by alluding to R. Kelly in an unprintable joke (like many of his).
Perhaps summing up his perspective, he explained, "A bit of sex occasionally never hurt anybody."
"A bit of sex occasionally never hurt anybody." Oh, I see what's going on here. Russell Brand is actually Jesus. Ha! Good one.
Aug 12 2008Britney Spears & MTV totally BFFs again
Britney Spears is either a really good sport or broke as all hell. She currently stars in the latest promotional spots for the MTV Video Music Awards with host Russell Brand. Part of the gag involves Britney and Russell sitting in a room with a giant elephant that nobody's talking about - until now: The bitch ate a circus clown! Run for your life!
Videos after the jump.
