Nov 19 2009Robert Pattinson has earned my respect
In case anyone had doubts that Robert Pattinson could make his fans do anything, here's an anecdote he shared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show that demonstrates how easily he could violate a throng of a women at the drop of a hat. Via The Awful Truth:
"I was doing a preinterview for this [show], and I immediately regretted saying that," the awkwardly adorable R.Pattz says. "I sound like I'm actually just abusing my position.
"It was after a period of signing 500 signatures, and one of [the fans] just came up. You kind of get 10 seconds with each person and you never really say anything, and I kind of got bored of saying, 'Hey, how are you doing?' And [the fan] said in her 10 seconds, 'What can I do to get your attention?' I was like, 'Um, just take your clothes off.' And she stood there and frantically started taking her clothes off and got dragged out of the room by security. I never felt more terrible."
This is exactly why I turned down a role in Twilight. No man should have that much power - especially me.
"Here's your menu, sir, and my breasts."
"Your black coffee and side of fellatio, sir."
"Two eggs and one 15-waitress-high naked pyramid just the way you like it."
(I haven't had breakfast yet.)
Nov 17 2009Robert Pattinson is ready to brood for you now
Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and that kid Summit Entertainment wants you to believe is banging Taylor Swift worked the crowdfor the LA premiere of The Twilight Saga: New Moon last night. Will Edward's skin sparkle for Bella because that somehow represents heterosexual love or will Jacob the wolf get some heavy petting? That's right, I went there. But only to prove a point that anyone can write Young Adult novels:
Meet Curtis the non-demanding zombie. He's content with just dry-humping and cuddling, but will his hunger for brains overcome his love for Stella, a shy young girl who would never amount to anything unless she finds a husband to impregnate her? Find out in 28 Mormons Later Infected Lust: Necking Just got a Whole Lot More BRAINY.
Scope Out (28) Pics of the New Moon Premiere After the Jump
Continue Reading "Robert Pattinson is ready to brood for you now"
Nov 12 2009Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart relationship confirmed by Catherine Hardwicke
And Catherine Hardwicke just signed Kristen Stewart's death warrant. In a new interview with Time, the Twilight director confirms Kristen and Robert Pattinson's hand-holding heard 'round the world most likely ended in pale sex that night:
By all accounts, the chemistry between the two leads was intense, maybe too intense. "After I cast him, I told Rob, Don't even think about having a romance with her," Hardwicke says. "She's under 18. You will be arrested." It was the beginning of the real-life are-they-aren't-they, did-they-didn't-they speculation that is now an ongoing subplot of the Twilight story. "I didn't have a camera in the hotel room. I cannot say," Hardwicke says. "But in terms of what Kristen told me directly, it didn't happen on the first movie. Nothing crossed the line while on the first film. I think it took a long time for Kristen to realize, O.K., I've got to give this a go and really try to be with this person."
It's a good thing I wasn't directing this movie because if Rob Pattinson asked me if he could bang an underage Kristen Stewart, I'd not only say "yes" but offer to be his lookout. Mostly so I could turn him into the police and end this goddamn shrieking insanity before it even started. But, hey, we can't all be epic saviors of humanity.
Continue Reading "Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart relationship confirmed by Catherine Hardwicke"
Nov 11 2009Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart marketing barrage begins and other news
- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart pretend to fake human emotions for a living. I rest my case. [Lainey Gossip]
- Lindsay Price and Josh Radnor broke up. I thought that might mean something to somebody, but don't quote me on that. [PopEater]
- Sophie Monk has some legs she'd like you to see. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Eliza Dushku is out of a job. [Just Jared]
- Kim Kardashian eating a popsicle. Where have I seen something like this starring Ray J before... [Celebslam]
- Kristin Cavallari continues to bang Audrina Patridge's exes at MTV's request. That's how you earn a paycheck, Lauren Conrad. Goddamn freeloader. [The Blemish]
- Jessica Biel wants to be the Lindsay Lohan to Jennifer Garner's Samantha Ronson. [PopSugar]
- Angelina Jolie and Jon Voight have reconciled. Finally! This candlelight vigil was boring as shit. [Betty Confidential]
- AnnaLynne McCord gives the troops some love. [Socialite Life]
Continue Reading "Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart marketing barrage begins and other news"
Nov 5 2009Kristen Stewart probably shouldn't do interviews
While doing press for New Moon this week, Kristen Stewart played the always ridiculous "It's so hard being a rich actress in a successful franchise" card in a roundtable with Entertainment Weekly:
Asked about the endless rumors of her supposed off-screen romance with Pattinson, for instance, Stewart got nicely fired up. "I probably would've answered it if people hadn't made such a big deal about it," she said. "But I'm not going to give the fiending an answer. I know that people are really funny about 'Well, you chose to be an actor, why don't you just f--ing give your whole life away?! Can I have your firstborn child?'"
Pattinson himself, who clearly loathes confrontation, tried to softly interject with philosophical statements about the need for an actor to hold onto his individuality. But Stewart cut him off. "I've thought about this a lot," she said. "There's no answer that's not going to tip you one way or the other. Think about every hypothetical situation: 'Okay, we are. We aren't. I'm a lesbian.' I'm just trying to keep something," she said. "If people started asking me if I was dating Taylor, I'd be like 'F-- off!'
You know what's always smart? Letting the main actress in your cash cow franchise call your target audience "the fiending." Then again, I'm pretty sure they read this article and all they saw was "Blah blah blah 'Robert Pattinson will dry hump me if I buy a Twilight backpack' blah blah blah 'Kristen Stewart is a lesbian and no longer a threat to me' blah blah blah 'I wish I didn't read Breaking Dawn 400 times because now I no longer understand the English language' blah blah blah blah."
To prove my point, watch as I instantly quadruple the site's traffic: I totally just heard Edward Cullen will hold your hand in gym class if you click every single picture on The Superficial - twice. OMG!
(Why didn't I do this sooner?)
Continue Reading "Kristen Stewart probably shouldn't do interviews"
Sep 20 2009Halle Berry is hot and other news
- Jon Gosselin's "sex appeal" is explained with absolutely no mention of a penis wrapped in hundred dollar bills being presented on the back of an ATV. So take it with a grain of salt. [PopEater]
- Gwyneth Paltrow returns to tell the unwashed masses how to live their pitiful peasant lives. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kristen Bell, Kristin Davis and Malin Ackerman pose for the cover of Self. Man, I would've loved to have been a fly on all those breasts. Bzzzz! [Just Jared]
- Robert Pattinson broods in the rain. [PopSugar]
- Lindsay Lohan can sleep easier. Police arrested one of the three burglars who stole a wall safe from her home. They're still looking for two other women which everyone knows was really Lindsay so coked up she appeared to be standing in two places at once in surveillance footage. You heard it here first. [Celebslam]
- January Jones wants to keep her vagina private. [Wonderwall]
- Jay-Z defends Kanye West on BBC Radio. [Socialite Life]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Halle After the Jump
Sep 15 2009Tori Spelling should stick to sweaters and other news
- Kanye West finally calls Taylor Swift to personally apologize and ask why the hell she doesn't read his blog. IT'S BETTER THAN THE INTERNET!!! [PopEater]
- Zac Efron or Robert Pattinson might be trolling Craigslist for a male Asian lover. Quick, someone get Jon Gosselin. [Lainey Gossip]
- Lady GaGa continues to fight crime by striking fear into the penises of criminals. [Just Jared]
- Kate Hudson looks about as thrilled to be at A-Rod's baseball game as Madonna at an exorcism. [PopSugar]
- Mickey Rourke has sex with models and they don't want people to know about it? The man was up for an Osc- oh, right, his face. [Celebslam]
- Stephanie Pratt literally begs to get into a VMA party only to have her credit card denied when she orders a bottle of champagne. Anyone else feel like they just heard the most heartwarming story of their life?[The Blemish]
- Megan Fox on Today. [ICYDK]
- La Toya Jackson is not what small children want to see when they're eating ice cream. "Mommy, this sundae tastes like nose." [Celebitchy]
Continue Reading "Tori Spelling should stick to sweaters and other news"
Sep 14 2009Marisa Miller is fashiony and other news
- Whitney Houston talks Bobby Brown with Oprah. Spoiler: Crack is involved. [PopEater]
- Ryan Reynolds might be The A-Team's Murdock instead of Green Lantern. [Lainey Gossip]
- Megan Fox was at the VMAs? She must've bolted after Kanye exceeded the show's bitch threshold. Whose night didn't he ruin? [Just Jared]
- Stuart Townsend is a sly bastard. Kudos, sir. [Celebslam]
- Whoopi Goldberg remembers Patrick Swayze. [Wonderwall]
- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are definitely having pale sex together. [PopSugar]
