Oct 20 2009Lindsay Lohan refuses to go to rehab
With Lindsay's probation being extended a year, friends are concerned that alcohol education classes aren't enough and she's refusing to check into rehab. Which isn't surprising because I hear they don't even serve booze there. Lame. RadarOnline reports:
A major source of ongoing angst for Lindsay is her family. "With Michael spouting off to the press, Dina pressuring Lindsay to get a restraining order against her father, it's a situation that would drive even the most normal of people over the edge. Lindsay just can't deal with it, and unfortunately her coping mechanism includes alcohol," the insider tells RadarOnline.com.
Michael Lohan has made public comments about seeking conservatorship of his daughter, Lindsay is going to see what action he takes if any, before filing the restraining order. "Lindsay is in a very tough place right now. The paperwork is prepared and ready to go, all she has to do is give her attorney the green light. Dina pushed Lindsay to take this action, but at the end of the day, this is a young lady that is very confused, and changes her mind at least 10 times a day," the friend says.
Ha! Michael Lohan is seeking a conservatorship for Lindsay? That's hilarious. Could you imagine if he actually pulled it off? He'd have a bottle of Jameson jutting out of his thorax in the first five min- okay, somebody needs to make this happen. Is there a legal fund I can donate to? Money's no object.
Scope Out (16) Pics of Lindsay After the Jump
Sep 18 2009Lindsay Lohan's probably going back to rehab
The NYPD removed Lindsay Lohan from the Bowery Hotel in New York last night after she straight flipped her shit outside Samantha Ronson's hotel room. Or what she thought was Samantha's room because gin's a tricky mistress. Hollyscoop reports:
Police were called to the scene after Lindsay reportedly "threw a room-service tray at what she thought was her girlfriend's door" during a heated fight.
The only problem was...she threw that tray at the wrong door. As a result Lindsay was kicked out of the posh hotel, with authorities escorting her off the premises.
The same source claims Lindsay's friends and family are planning on staging an intervention to get her back in rehab for the fourth time!
How many times does a person have to go to rehab until the word "lobotomy" enters the discussion? Or if that seems a little harsh, let's just lock Lindsay in a room loaded with coke up to her knees. She'll either OD and die happy or snort her way through the walls facilitating her new career as a Black Ops agent for the government. "Alright, Lindsay. The terrorists are behind this mountain - and they're holding. GO!"
Continue Reading "Lindsay Lohan's probably going back to rehab"
Jan 23 2009Kelly Osbourne back in rehab
On the heels of news she was arrested for assaulting a photographer, Kelly Osbourne has checked herself into rehab, according to People:
Her reps say in a statement to PEOPLE, "Kelly Osbourne has voluntarily entered a medical facility to address some personal issues. Her family stands by and supports her."
Late Thursday, Osbourne's mother Sharon was quoted on RadarOnline.com as saying, "Yeah, Kelly's in rehab. What else can we say? She knew that it was the right thing to do at this point and we're proud that she did it. The family is all standing behind her. Kelly knew that she needed help and she's getting it."
Unless this rehab facility can go back in time and magically make Kelly fall out of a different vagina, she probably had the right idea with all the drinking. Trust me, I'm a doctor - of love.
Jan 4 2009Tara Reid leaves rehab
Tara Reid has already checked out of rehab after only three weeks of treatment, according to People:
"She checked out on Saturday," says the source. "She's doing well. The whole family is very positive about this being the new beginning for her."
Despite Reid being in treatment since only last month, her family and friends are optimistic about her future. "They are taking steps to do everything they can to help Tara keep on the right track," adds the source.
I don't care what People's source/Tara's publicist says, three weeks is nowhere near enough time to cure her level of alcoholism. We're talking about a woman who once ate through a locked door to get to an almost empty bottle of Stoli's. Don't remember that story? That's because it's happening right now, and shit, she smells the beer in my liver. Look, Tara, a martini! *dives out window*
EDIT: Tara's publicist is telling E! News "word of Reid's departure is premature." Which means she broke out and robbed a liquor store. I know showbiz talk.
Dec 13 2008Tara Reid goes to rehab
Tara Reid has checked into rehab, according to People:
"Tara Reid has checked herself into Promises Treatment Center. We appreciate your respect to her and her family's privacy at this time," the actress's rep Jack Ketsoyan tells PEOPLE.
The rep would not reveal what Reid, 33, is being treated for.
It's booze.
NURSE: Miss Reid, before we check in you're going to have remove all alcoholic beverages from your person.
TARA: What?
NURSE: Miss Reid, you're clearly smuggling a bottle of Jack Daniels in your left breast.
TARA: No, no. It always look like that.
NURSE: Then why were you trying to drink from it?
TARA: There a law against that?
NURSE: Not necessarily.
TARA: Good. Now, who do I talk to about the cat I puked on back there?
NURSE: That's not a cat, Miss Reid. It's Richie Sambora.
TARA: No shit? That would explain the sex...
Oct 16 2008David Duchovny & Tea Leoni secretly separated for months
David Duchovny and Tea Leoni's publicist revealed the two are actually separated and have been for months now, according to People:
"In light of continuous speculation over the lives and marriage of Tea Leoni and David Duchovny, the couple has confirmed that they have in fact been separated for several months," the statement says. "The couple had hoped to keep this separation private for the sake of their children."
So, wait, going on a binge of strippers and porn after separating from your wife is considered sex addiction now? Jesus. Last I checked it was called being PERFECTLY GODDAMN NORMAL. That's like crawling out of a desert then announcing you've got a "water addiction." C'mon.
Continue Reading "David Duchovny & Tea Leoni secretly separated for months"
Oct 7 2008David Duchovny checks out of rehab
David Duchovny is out of rehab for sex addiction after he checked himself for allegedly cheating on Tea Leoni. People reports:
David Duchovny has checked out of a rehabilitation center for sex addiction, according to his lawyer, Stanton "Larry" Stein.
"David is out of rehab and about to start a new movie," Stein tells PEOPLE. "He successfully completed his treatment."
Why am I starting to regret sending David a congratulatory erotic cake? Oh, crap, it just hit me: I forgot to send a card with it. That's just ignorant. Seriously, I'm embarrassed.
Sep 2 2008David Duchovny did NOT cheat on Tea Leoni
David Duchovny's checked into rehab last week to seek treatment for sex addiction. Rumors were circulating that he had an affair with his tennis instructor because apparently people believe celebrities are characters on Dallas. A close friend of Mulder's set the record straight that it's a bad case of porn addiction. FOX News reports:
Alas, it isn’t so, says a close friend. Duchovny did not check in because of an extramarital fling. That much the friend is certain of. Even more so: Duchovny’s problem has been longstanding. His wife, Tea Leoni, was aware of it for some time. It had just reached a point where it had to be treated.
I have inferred from my conversation with Duchovny’s friend that this has something to do with an addiction to pornography, probably on the internet. It’s the sex equivalent of a gambling addiction, where the person is just hopelessly trapped in chat rooms.
Wait. There's porn on the Internet? .... Hold my calls.
