Oct 21 2009Kim Kardashian wants a baby NOW
Since it's no fair stupid Kourtney gets to have one and hog all the attention, Kim Kardashian wants a baby before she hits 30 next October, according to Life & Style:
"I always had a vision I'd be married with one kid by the time I'm 30." Not that Kim's likely to be waiting for a ring much longer. After dating for more than two years, Kim and boyfriend Reggie Bush, split in July but are now back together and working on their issues. "Before, I was strictly all about my work," Kim admits. "Now I make it a priority to go see him instead. It's all about the commitment you choose to make."
And with renewed faith in their relationship, Kim and Reggie are making moves toward their future. "Kim is selling her condo so she and Reggie can buy a home together in Los Angeles," her friend says. And the prospect of having a big house has Kim thinking about how she and Reggie will fill it. "I want a lot of kids," Kim tells Life & Style. "Maybe five or six. A mix of both boys and girls."
I'm sure nothing will bring Kim Kardashian more joy than giving birth to a beautiful baby, immediately handing it off to a team of Mexican nannies and then spending the next year hiring the greatest plastic surgeons of our time to restore her ass. I hear one of them even built a time machine to go into the future since our current ass enhancement technologies fall short of such a task. Or maybe I'm thinking about last week's Nip/Tuck. You get my point.
Oct 9 2009Paris Hilton still has really gross knees and other news
- Billy Ray Cyrus wants Miley Cyrus to keep Tweeting. How else is going to buy that there sol-eed gold spittoon he's been fixin' to get? [Lainey Gossip]
- Jon Gosselin and the paparazzi: BFFs. [PopEater]
- Jessica Alba wears retarded shorts. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Heidi Klum has NOT birthed a future German sexpot yet. [Just Jared]
- R. Kelly admits he's illiterate but also the "Greatest Writer of All Time." Why not? [Celebslam]
- Reggie Bush looks so thrilled to be back with Kim Kardashian. So thrilled. [PopSugar]
- David Letterman used to take his mistress/assistant on family vacations. Now those are some balls. [The Blemish]
- Kourtney Kardashian is having a boy which proves the Kardashian sisters have to have a penis in them at all times. Least surprising fact ever. I know. [ICYDK]
Continue Reading "Paris Hilton still has really gross knees and other news"
Sep 29 2009Kim Kardashian & Reggie Bush are back together
With one sister pregnant and the other sister married, Kim Kardashian had to act quickly before she became the lonely spinster housing 28 cats under her ass. So she's back with Reggie Bush. People reports:
"They're totally back together for real," says a source close to the couple. "Kim and Reggie spent a few months apart getting their priorities together and figuring out who they were as individuals so they can make it work together."
Honestly, I never believed these two were dating in the first place, so it makes me wonder what exactly Kim and/or her publicist have on Reggie Bush that makes him get in line and play the doting boyfriend again at the drop of the hat. Maybe she's letting him have sex with her, but the guy's in the NFL, so it's not like he's hurting for it. He could even have somebody build him a life-like, non-talking version of Kim's ass out of two beanbag chairs and diamonds for God's sake. I don't get it.
Continue Reading "Kim Kardashian & Reggie Bush are back together"
Jul 30 2009Kanye West broke up Kim and Reggie?
If one Kanye West rumor turns out to be false, why not try another? This time around, FOX 411 claims the rapper was sending racy texts about a night the two of them partied together:
"Reggie saw text messages on Kim's phone from Kanye West and flipped out on her," the source tells FOX411.
And these weren't your average friendly messages.
"The texts referenced a night they hung out, how much fun he had, how hot Kim was, and more racy things that got Reggie's imagination running," says the source.
When Reggie confronted Kim about it, the couple had a huge blow-up, and jealousy issues, which had been pretty much kept out of their relationship until this incident ,surfaced, according to the insider.
"They realized there were trust issues on both sides, and couldn't go forward," says the source.
Okay, now Reggie Bush is just being selfish. Clearly he could've worked out some sort of arrangement where Kanye and him had their own respective cheeks. They wouldn't even know the other one was there.
Jul 27 2009Kim Kardashian is single
Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush have called it quits, according to Us Magazine:
"Nobody cheated," a source close to the couple says. "This is just a case of conflicting schedules and their lives going in different directions.
"It was a totally mutual decision," continues the source.
If nobody cheated, how do you explain all that sex Kim and I had? In my mind. Sorry, Kim, I can't live a lie anymore. Which reminds me: You know when I said I'd marry you while we were making love in the Batcave? About that...
Mar 20 2009Kim Kardashian in some form of undress
Somehow I missed these shots Kim Kardashian posted on her blog from the latest issue of GQ. I was busy solving world hunger if you must know. Jeez, can't a guy with rippling biceps and Shakespearean-esque beauty live in quiet modesty? And maybe be ridiculously good at sex in case you're an attractive woman who happens to be wondering. (Contact button in the upper right.)
NOTE: Also, for all you football gamblers, I wouldn't bet on Reggie Bush running quite the same this season - or ever. Just throwing that out there.
Feb 17 2009Paris Hilton & Kim Kardashian's awkward reunion
Because God is a hilarious bastard, former BFFs Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian were seated next to each other at a Fashion Week runway yesterday in New York.
KIM: Hey.
PARIS: Hey.
KIM: So, those sex tapes really worked.
PARIS: Yep.
KIM: What do you think would happen if we made new ones?
PARIS: .... I'll get my coat.
Continue Reading "Paris Hilton & Kim Kardashian's awkward reunion"
Feb 1 2009Kim Kardashian commits blasphemy. Skips Super Bowl.
Kim Kardashian might have hosted the 6th Annual Leather & Laces Celebration in Tampa to kick off Super Bowl weekend, but she's not even watching the game tonight! Despite dating Reggie Bush of the New Orleans Saints, Kim is bailing on America and filming her upcoming workout video instead. People reports:
While the reality star didn't originally plan on missing the game, a scheduling snafu forced her to make a tough decision. "When we first chose Feb. 1, we didn't know it was the Super Bowl," she says. "And after we realized it, I thought that this [video] was an important thing for me to do."
And important for her target audience: curvier girls.
"For young girls to see exercise videos that have only skinny girls…well, that's something they can't attain," says Kardashian. "I want this to be something that can be realistic for most girls."
Of course, it all makes sense now:
Loves to make videos? Check.
Moustache? Waxed, so check.
Hates football? Check.
I should've known all along... Kim Kardashian is a terrorist! Or a woman if you want to split hairs here.
Continue Reading "Kim Kardashian commits blasphemy. Skips Super Bowl."
