Oct 6 2009Olivia Wilde shows Marie Claire some nip
Here's Olivia Wilde in the latest issue of Marie Claire and I had no idea they showed nipples. Or at least poorly veiled ones. I almost want to make a dentist appointment just to sift through all the issues in the waiting room. Also, I can make sure housewives aren't reading and kill two birds with one stone. It's all about time management, folks.
EDIT: So apparently these are from 2006. Awesome. Consider this a commentary on how often I read Marie Claire and not the last time I went to the dentist.
Oct 2 2009Kim Kardashian & Olivia Wilde do Letterman
Because that Paul Shaffer song I made up creeped me out, here's Kim Kardashian and Olivia Wilde showing off their respective asses outside of Ed Sullivan Theater last night. Keep in mind that both will kill you. One from sheer mass and volume, and the other from a heat not unlike the surface of the sun. Which is why I made a full body suit out of oven mitts. Olivia?
Scope Out (32) Pics of Kim & Olivia After the Jump
Continue Reading "Kim Kardashian & Olivia Wilde do Letterman"
Sep 30 2009So Freaking Hot: Best of September
In case you were in a coma for the entire month of September, here's a look back at the Top 10 So Freaking Hot posts for the month. Feel free to catch up on what you missed, or relive the memory of getting fired for pretending the fax machine was Blake Lively's breasts. Wait, I did that. Anyone know when will I stop peeing toner?
NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions because I care.
Scope Out The Top Ten So Freaking Hot Posts of Sept. After the Jump
Sep 22 2009Eva Longoria is cleavagey and other news
- Billy Joel buys finds a new prostitute lady prostitute. [PopEater]
- Miley Cyrus wants to be a "lawer." [Lainey Gossip]
- Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. welcomed a baby girl Saturday but didn't name her Buffy which immediately makes me question why I just posted this. [Just Jared]
- Olivia Wilde is apparently married to Shaggy from Scooby Doo. [PopSugar]
- Tom Cruise spends his afternoon reminding Katie Holmes she'll never outrun him. No matter how deliciously manly she makes her physique. [Celebslam]
- Jennifer Garner is considered attractive, right? .... Why? [Socialite Life]
- Mary-Kate Olsen continues to dress like an 83-year-old British nanny. [ICYDK]
- Gisele Bundchen thinks being pregnant is a good time to learn how to fly a helicopter. Was shark fighting class filled up? [Splash News]
Sep 20 2009Olivia Wilde won the Emmys. All of them.
Here's Olivia Wilde (House) arriving at the 61st Annual Primetime Emmy Awards and I would give her every fucking award at that thing regardless of how manly of a punch Jon Hamm would land on my face. I don't even care that she has some sort of giant zipper going down her back. Unless, of course, her spine pops out mid-coitus and touches my hand causing me to shriek like a schoolgirl. But notice I never said anything about stopping. M'lady?
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Sep 15 2009Olivia Wilde in GQ is just... goddamn
Here's Olivia Wilde in the October 2009 issue of GQ and [Insert words you will never read but if you would let's pretend their sheer brilliance made your pants fly off because clearly you're a woman here.] True story.
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Sep 3 2009Olivia Wilde hawks perfume and other news
- Michael Jackson's funeral was today. I wonder what it was like when they found out his gravestone dispenses candy. Hmm... [PopEater]
- Salma Hayek flipped out last night at a restaurant when all the outdoor seating was taken even though she didn't have a reservation. Did any of this cause her breasts to shrink? No? Carry on. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kate Beckinsale is hot. I don't say that enough. [PopSugar]
- Janice Dickinson found a man willing to kiss her old, collagen lips without cash changing hands. [Celebslam]
- Ashlee Simpson talks about raising Pete Wentz's spawn on The Today Show. [Just Jared]
- Tori Spelling denies reports that Dean McDermott is only married to her for the money. Clearly it's for the sex. Because who doesn't enjoy banging a sickly, middle-aged woman with implants? And she even had kids. Score! [Socialite Life]
- Kelly Osbourne wants kids to stay off tattoos. Hey, doesn't she know educating kids is for commies? Oh, wait, that only counts if you're a black president. My bad. [ICYDK]
- Kim Cattrall is still a cougar. [Splash News]
- Cate Blanchett goes back to work after getting brained on stage by a co-star and pretty much makes Jeremy Piven look like a giant vagina. [Parade]
Continue Reading "Olivia Wilde hawks perfume and other news"
May 20 2009Olivia Wilde in GQ
Olivia Wilde poses for the latest issue of GQ and also responds to Megan Fox's recent comment about wanting to strangle a mountain ox in a fit of bisexual lust:
"I came into my trailer at House the morning after that article came out," she says, "and one of our writers had done an illustration on my mirror of a mountain ox saying, 'Save me, save me. Please, Olivia, make out with Megan!' " Though Wilde is a little skeptical of the recent girl-crush fad, she's always willing to pitch in for a cause: "Of course, anything I can do to save the mountain ox, I'm happy to do."
Funny you should mention that, I happen to be holding a gun to a mountain ox's head as we speak. In fact - *WAM* Sonofabitch, kicked me! No, don't shit in the elevator! Everybody down!
*BLAM BLAM BLAM*
AH-ROOOOOOOOOOOH!
*THUMP*
Now, where was I?
