May 15 2009Robert Pattinson likes the drinky
- Robert Pattinson got trashed again with Kristen Stewart for his birthday. Crazy Twi-hard fan stabbing her in 5... 4... 3... [Lainey Gossip]
- Cameron Diaz appears on the latest cover of Vogue and has apparently decided to stop looking hot and start looking like your mom. On that note, can I come to your house for dinner? [Just Jared]
- Chris Pine poses for GQ magazine. Finally, I'll know how to dress like a dreamier, non-Canadian Captain Kirk. Oh boy! [Pink is the New Blog]
- Shia LaBeouf admits to going on a date with Rihanna while filming Indiana Jones 4. I think I speak for everyone when I say: Kill, Chris Brown! Kill! [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Nick Hogan is having trouble getting his own reality show. Wow, am I actually experiencing joy because of the reality TV industry? What in the... [Celebslam]
May 6 2009Brooke Hogan: 21 Years of Hiding a Penis
Brooke Hogan celebrated her 21st birthday last night at Pure Nightclub in Vegas, and you'd think Hulk would give her a night off from doing the inevitable creepy double-kiss photo. Then again, I'm not practically committing incest with a clone of my daughter, so what do I know? In the meantime, Brooke needs to fire her stylist for making her look more manly than Chuck Norris eating a steak. You can almost hear the penis-tape peeling away just looking at these pics.
Scope Out (4) More Pics of Brooke's Birthday After The Jump
Feb 3 2009Nick Hogan back on the road already. Whee!
Despite having his license suspended for three years after the 2007 drag-racing crash that left his best friend John Graziano in a vegetative state with a giant hole in his head, Nick Hogan is allowed behind the wheel again but only to and from work with "no exceptions," according to TMZ. Because he wouldn't possibly speed then and try to compensate for a small penis. No way.
Wait. Back up a second. To and from work? Since when does Nick Hogan work? I didn't realize spending his dad's money and listening to an iPod constituted a vocation. But, hey, I'm sure he's learned his lesson. Or will after the next crash. Seriously, for real this time. Promise.
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Jan 20 2009Nick Hogan continues to bring shame to his family (If that's even possible.)
Here's Nick Hogan at Sundance personifying the term "assclown." This kid definitely had some shit happen to him in prison. Otherwise, I don't know how to explain his obvious crush on Eminem that somehow still landed him a girl. No, no, keep listening to your iPod, Nick. Your outfit's totally sealing the deal here. Read: You're getting your wallet stolen, Elton John's bleached love child.
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Oct 27 2008Hulk Hogan says Nick learned a lot in jail
According to Hulk Hogan, being locked up for negligent driving had a transformative effect on his son. Which is nice, since his best buddy John Graziano has just been lying around in a permanent vegetative state and hasn't done a damn thing to increase his personal growth. See, parents? You can't always judge your kids by the company they keep! Us Magazine reports:
Hulk says Nick has changed his life since getting out of jail Oct. 20.
"He was on a roll," he said. "He was a young professional driver. He had the show going, and it all got real busy, and then when he went to jail, he got stripped of everything.
"He got stripped of clothes, of watches, he got stripped of his identity, and he found out what's important in life," Hulk added. "He knows what's real, and what's not real.
"And before he went in there, he was accountable, and he was responsible. And I think that's what he found out in jail, the most important thing. He understands what is real life. You know, it's about helping people, being positive, moving forward.
"He was a good kid before, he's a great kid now," Hulk says. "He's not the same man he was when he went in there."
Then Hulk added:
"But you know where he's really experienced the most growth, surprisingly enough? His rectum. Yeah, no kidding. On the drive home from jail I thought we were being followed by a UFO, the wind was whistling through his sphincter so loud. I've been storing all my spare bandannas in there, which gave us an idea for a family magic act that we'll hopefully be opening at the MGM Grand early next year. We might even get John in the act; it would lift his spirits, and he'd probably be good in the sawing-a-guy-in-half routine. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I hear Brooke's ass cheeks de-moisturizing. You know, a father's work is never done, but it has its rewards."
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