Jun 18 2009Morgan Freeman caught in 'incest' scandal

Morgan Freeman has allegedly been having a decade long near-incestuous affair with his 27-year-old step-granddaughter E'dena Hines. If you're doing the math, that means she was 17 at the start of their relationship which The National Enquirer claims led to his divorce from wife Myrna:

"Myrna said E'dena told her that when she was a teenager, she and Morgan went to dinner at a friend's house one evening. Both had been drinking, and when they returned home, Morgan attempted to have sex with her. They stopped just short of having intercourse," the source, a close family insider, told The ENQUIRER.
"E'Dena explained to Myrna that she stopped Morgan from going any further."
Myrna confronted Morgan, and he agreed to leave E'Dena alone - but unbeknownst to Myrna, the relationship continued for years, said the source. E'Dena has also been Morgan's escort to several public events, including last summer's premiere of the blockbuster Bat-flick hit, The Dark Knight.
"Nobody thought anything of it, because she would be introduced as his 'granddaughter.' The family insider divulged. "It's not technically incest, because they are not related by blood...[but] Morgan is trying desperately to keep his divorce out of open court so all the shameful facts won't become public."

Granted, this is coming from The Enquirer, so chances are somebody threw two darts that landed on "Morgan Freeman" and "incest." Personally, I refuse to believe the guy who built Batman's suit would sleep with the step-granddaughter he raised since she was a child. A random underage prostitute in a seedy hotel? Sure. Pseudo-incest? Not so much. -- Unless he just won an Oscar then it's anybody's guess.

Thanks to Scott L. who was a little too excited about this. Was The Bucket List really that bad?

Feb 26 2009Morgan Freeman allegedly drunk during car crash. Whoops.

Morgan Freeman's August car crash is coming back to haunt him. His female passenger Demaris Meyer is suing him for negligence and setting the record straight that she was not his mistress. The AP reports:

"I have been labeled as the other woman and have been accused of having caused the breakup of Mr. Freeman's marriage," Meyer said. "Nothing could be further from the truth. I had hoped and prayed that Mr. Freeman or his representatives would have set the record straight and cleared my name, but they have not done so and that is why I have chosen to come forward to tell the truth about our relationship." Meyer is suing for medical expenses, pain and suffering, lost wages, permanent disability and property damage.

Her lawsuit claims Morgan Freeman failed to pay attention to the road and obey the posted speed limit. Of course, being drunk off his ass might have something to do with it, according to TMZ:

Demaris Meyer claims on the night of the crash, she first met up with Freeman at dinner -- where she noticed "throughout the course of dinner and afterward drinks were consumed by Freeman."
Meyer then says she left dinner and met up with Freeman and others at a friend's home. She claims Freeman "had at least one more drink" while there. She claims Freeman then invited her to stay at his home for the night -- guaranteeing her not only her own bedroom, but her "own house." She says she agreed.

So, that's how you score with women: Offer them their own house for the night. All this time I've been laying newspaper down on the floor. But for the record, I always use the full color Sunday comics. Somebody's gotta keep romance alive.

Aug 7 2008Morgan Freeman released from the hospital

Morgan Freeman was released from the hospital today. He was admitted with several broken bones after flipping his car late Sunday night. People reports:

"I left the hospital today just after 12 noon, Memphis time," Freeman said in a statement released by his rep to PEOPLE. "I'm doing very well. I feel real good. I just really, I thank the staff at 'Elvis Presley [Hospital]' and many, many thanks to my many well-wishers. It's great to know people care about you.”

Upon discharge, Morgan Freeman repeatedly asked "Where all the bitches at?" Before explaining to a hospital worker: "A dog's gotta hunt." God, I can't wait to get old.

Aug 6 2008Morgan Freeman and wife divorcing

Morgan Freeman and his wife of 24 years are getting a divorce. The news hit just days after the actor was pulled out of his car with the jaws of life along with a female passenger. Pimpin' ain't easy. (I blame the cataracts.) Access Hollywood reports:

Freeman and his wife of 24-years, costumer Myrna Colley-Lee, “are involved in a divorce action,” the actor’s Mississippi-based attorney and business partner Bill Luckett told Access Hollywood. “And for legal and practical purposes, [Freeman and Colley-Lee] have been separated since December of 2007.”

Man, I hope when I'm 71, I'll be picking up chicks and surviving insane car crashes. Which will be really amazing considering we'll have flying cars by then. So, yeah, in your face, Freeman!

Aug 5 2008Morgan Freeman in 'good spirits' despite several broken bones

Morgan Freeman is surprisingly jovial after being pulled out of his car by the jaws of life late Sunday night. He's scheduled to undergo surgery for several broken bones, but is quoted as saying "Pfft. Car crashes are pussy shit." Okay, he didn't really say that, but I like to imagine he did with that distinctive tone he uses to narrate documentaries. People reports:

"He has a broken arm, broken elbow and minor shoulder damage but he is in good spirits," said Donna Lee. "He is going to have surgery this afternoon or tomorrow to correct the damage. He says he'll be okay and is looking forward to a full recovery."

Morgan Freeman's Dark Knight co-star Christian Bale has offered to do whatever it takes to help Morgan get back on his feet. In fact, he's even pledged to punch his own mother in the face if it'll help. Doctors are pretty sure it won't but are afraid of telling Christian and getting headbutted through a window. That shit hurts and these dudes know. They're doctors.

Aug 4 2008Morgan Freeman hospitalized after car crash

Apparently it's Sobering News Day on The Superficial. Morgan Freeman was seriously injured in an accident late last night and is in serious condition at a Mississippi hospital. His car flipped several times after veering off the highway and rescue workers needed to use the jaws of life to get the 71-year-old actor out. Though he appeared to be coherent and even joked with onloookers, according to the AP:

"They had to use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle," McFerrin said. "He was lucid, conscious. He was talking, joking with some of the rescue workers at one point."
McFerrin said bystanders converged on the scene trying to get a glimpse of the actor.
When one person tried to snap a photo with a cell phone camera, Freeman joked, "no freebies, no freebies," McFerrin said.

When Oscar-winning actor Morgan Freeman gets pulled out of a massive wreck, you don't try to take his picture with your phone. You shake the man's hand, dammit! I'm telling you there's no such as etiquette these days.

The Superficial wishes Morgan a speedy recovery and not just because I'm afraid to see someone else build Batman kickass shit in the next movie. (But if it ends up being Ashton Kutcher, I'll kill myself.)