Nov 9 2009Carrie Prejean crusades against pornography
Despite having already posed for topless photos and a sex tape featuring only herself, Carrie Prejean decided to criticize pornography in her upcoming book. TMZ reports:
"Unfortunately, pornography has become mainstreamed -- it rushes at us through big screens, portable screens; soft-core porn is on mainstream TV cable stations, hard-core porn is just a mouse click away on the internet, and the envelope of what seems acceptable seems to get pushed farther and farther as more and more people are exposed to this material.
The result is that girls grow up in a culture where it is hard to have an innocent, healthy, normal view of themselves, how they should behave, how they should act, and how they should dress."
Of course, conveniently left out of this book is the part where Carrie Prejean finger-banged herself on camera then lied to Donald Trump about the wind blowing her shirt open in front of a professional photographer. But, hey, it's not lying if you're doing it for Jesus. Amirite? On that note, if Carrie's book is successful, it'll open the door to an avalanche of literary gems I'm dying to read:
Wearing Bras: My Favorite! by Britney Spears
Protecting Your Kid's Privacy by Michael Lohan
Shitting on Toilets Instead of Cats by Amy Winehouse
Being Taken Seriously by Tila Tequila
How to Maintain a Clean and Healthy Vagina by Paris Hilton
Coherent Sentences by Sarah Palin
And, finally:
One Man's Journey of Never Locking His Prop Wife in an Abandoned Refrigerator Because Her Parents are Catholics and Must Be Suppressed, Heil, Xenu! by Dr. Thomas Cruise
Nov 4 2009Carrie Prejean sex tape forced a settlement
Carrie Prejean and the Miss California Organization both dismissed their respective lawsuits after reaching a settlement yesterday, and apparently a sex tape featuring Miss Purity with Implants was the catalyst, according to TMZ:
The video the lawyer showed Carrie is extremely graphic and has never been released publicly. We know that, because TMZ obtained the video months ago but decided not to post it because it was so racy. Let's just say, Carrie has a promising solo career.
We're told it took about 15 seconds for Carrie to jettison her demand and essentially walk away with nothing. As we first reported, the Pageant is paying around $100,000 to her lawyers and publicist -- a fraction of her bills. She pockets nothing in the settlement.
I had no idea Jesus was so into fake tits, topless photos and amateur sex tapes. Guess I should start going to church more often. So are they open on Wednesdays, or do I need to make an appointment? More importantly, will the priest be there the whole time?
Oct 20 2009Carrie Prejean has to pay for her tits
The Miss California Organization is suing Carrie Prejean for the $5,200 they forked over for her breast implants and are slapping down accusations that they revealed "private facts" about her, according to TMZ:
In other legal docs, Keith Lewis and crew are asking to strike a portion of Prejean's lawsuit -- the portion dealing with public disclosure of private facts.
The new docs say, "the alleged 'private facts' consist of her breast augmentation (which ceased being private during the swimsuit competition of the nationally-televised Miss USA pageant, in which Ms. Prejean walked the stage in a bikini)."
Although, in Carrie's defense, I'm 100% certain she believed people would think she prayed really hard to Jesus and he made her tits bigger. So way to blow that mystery out of the water, Miss California Organization.
Aug 31 2009Carrie Prejean sues for 'religious discrimination.' Christ...
Carrie Prejean filed a lawsuit today claiming Shanna Moakler and Keith Lewis, but strangely not the Donald, subjected her to "religious discrimination, defamation, public disclosure of private facts, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and negligent infliction of emotional distress." Carrie had teased a lawsuit a month ago only to use the opportunity to push her upcoming book, and Miss California Pageant officials are calling her out for the same tactic, according to TMZ:
TMZ just received the following statement from Miss California USA honcho Keith Lewis, lashing back at the lawsuit Carrie Prejean filed against him this morning for religious discrimination:
"It appears that suits from both sides are now inevitable against the other. I would guess Carrie sees it as a chance to get publicity for her upcoming book because in the interviews I have seen, she talks about the suit and the book in the same breath.
We have no problem with her selling lots of books - considering in the current situation we could stand to profit from every copy she sells.
For us, it has never been about her beliefs and we have always just wanted to move on.
But it seems like Carrie really has nothing new to talk about or anything new in her life so the impression is she just keeps looking for ways to rehash her position as a victim because of her onstage answer."
How do I explain this to Carrie Prejean without hand puppets? The Miss California Organization invested in you, particularly in the chest region, to be the face and again, chest, of their Company. You were an Employee. But should an Employee decide to publicly latch onto divisive political causes in violation of its contract, whether it be bigoted anti-gay marriage legislation or retarded hippie protests with Move-On.org, the Company has every right to protect its investment. So, basically, you're still free to say whatever you want, but your employer is still free to fire you. That's not censorship, that's CAPITALISM. And in case you inexplicably missed the memo while subbing at FOX News, Jesus wants to dip his balls in it. It's his favorite.
Continue Reading "Carrie Prejean sues for 'religious discrimination.' Christ..."
Jul 31 2009Carrie Prejean sues Miss California Organization. But not really.
Carrie Prejean is a crafty bitch. Last night the front page of a lawsuit targeting the Miss California Organization for slander and libel was leaked online which opened the door for Carrie to appear on Access Hollywood today where she said no suit would be filed and then conveniently started plugging her book:
But Prejean, who was dethroned in June, over what the Miss California USA group said were contract violations, told Bush she isn't going to sue her former bosses in court. Instead, Prejean said she plans to put pen to paper for her upcoming book.
"[Are] you going to file one?" Bush asked of a lawsuit.
"No, I mean, hopefully this will all just get taken care of," Prejean said. "There's definitely some things that are false that they've said about me and I think definitely the book will -- it's sort of like therapy for me. It's a way for me to just get out the truth, really.
"The book's going to be amazing," she said. "Everything in the book is factual. I could never say something that's not true... Everything that is in the book I can either back it up with e-mails or witnesses. I'm really excited about that. I just can't wait for that book to come out and for people to see it. I really think their jaws are going to drop."
So, remember when Carrie Prejean said the topless photos of her were taken when she was only 17 then changed her story to say a breeze blew her shirt open? Did a ventriloquist say those words? Because obviously Carrie can't tell a lie. Kind of like Superman if you don't count the time he knocked up Lois then said he had to go to the bathroom. On Krypton.
Continue Reading "Carrie Prejean sues Miss California Organization. But not really."
Jun 12 2009Carrie Prejean gets pissy on Today
- Carrie Prejean's leaked e-mails between Miss California director Keith Lewis prove she was a massive pain in the ass - with fake breasts, so let's forgive her! Sorry, reflex action. [The Blemish]
- Rihanna and Chris Brown coincidentally attended the Lakers game last night but sat separately. Which means they're fucking! Get Anderson Cooper! [PopSugar]
- Nicole Richie has somehow gone legitimate. I wonder what was dragging her down before. Hmm... [Lainey Gossip]
- Sarah Palin and David Letterman are having some sort of tiff which only further proves Republicans have no sense of humor. (Ironically, not counting John McCain choosing Sarah for his running mate. Hilarious!) [Just Jared]
- Fergie should consider wearing a mask. Nothing fancy. Just one that doesn't make me wonder what she called herself when she had a penis. -- It was Chuck, wasn't it? She looks like a Chuck. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Kelly Clarkson is a whole lot of woman. Three of them, by my estimate. [Celebslam]
Jun 11 2009Carrie Prejean found out she was fired from the media
Carrie Prejean apparently learned she was stripped of her crown through the media and immediately went on the offensive. She claims the Miss California Organization wanted her to pose in Playboy and appear on I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! TMZ reports:
Prejean claims pageant honcho Keith Lewis actually asked her last month if she would take two gigs -- appearing on "I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here!" and Playboy. Prejean says Lewis told her Playboy offered $140,000 for her to pose semi-nude. She rejected both offers.
A few minutes ago we talked to Lewis who said he was not pushing her to take either gig -- but merely passing the offers along. Lewis said Prejean had insisted they not turn anything down without running it by her.
In the meantime, she's surprisingly not pissed at Donald Trump who made the decision and claimed she treated people like shit, according to Access Hollywood:
When asked if she planned to contact Trump following the news, Prejean answered by saying she believes he is acting with her best interest in mind.
"I think that he definitely is a businessman and I know that he's looking out for my best interest and right now, I think that that maybe he [thinks this decision is in the] best interest for me," she said.
OR maybe Donald's a smart businessman because he saved your ass in May preventing a martyr situation while giving you enough rope to inevitably hang yourself with once the media shitstorm died down. But that's just me. For all we know, you looked at his toupee wrong.
Jun 10 2009Carrie Prejean no longer Miss California
Due to continual breaches of her contract, Carrie Prejean was stripped of her crown as Miss California today. She'll be replaced by Miss Malibu Tami Farrell. FOX News reports:
"This was a business decision, based solely on contract violations," Keith Lewis, executive director of K2 Productions, said in the documents. "After our press conference in New York we had hoped we would be able to forge a better working relationship. However, since that time it has become abundantly clear that Carrie has no desire to fulfill her obligations under our contract and work together."
While Donald Trump initially defended Carrie last month after it was revealed she lied about taking topless photos, he gave the final OK to fire her, according to TMZ:
Trump told us Carrie refused to appear at around 30 events on behalf of Miss California USA. He says Prejean was contractually bound to appear and she just wouldn't do it. He doesn't think her attitude has anything to do with her politics.
Trump said: "To me she was the sweetest thing. Everyone else -- she treated like s**t."
Hey, don't blame Carrie for not being nice to anyone. Jesus clearly states in the Bible: "Getteth thou fake tits and fucketh those who do not recognize thine excrement smells as sweet as roses. -- Also, never turn down a chance to co-host Fox and Friends. Amen."
