Sep 24 2009Britney Spears' nipples and other news
- Randy Quaid's wife puts up a fight while the two get arrested in Texas this afternoon. [PopEater]
- Don Draper will shoot your ass up. [Lainey Gossip]
- Megan Fox on the cover of Nylon magazine. Warning: Does NOT contain cleavage. [Just Jared]
- Kid Rock goes back to pretending he's a hip-hop artist again. [PopSugar]
- Amber Heard at the premiere of Zombieland. [Celebslam]
- Cameron Diaz is into firemen. [Drunken Stepfater: Site is NSFW]
- Milo Ventimiglia found a replacement for Hayden Panettiere. [Socialite Life]
- Nicole Richie promises not to look like Gollum again. Seriously this time. [ICYDK]
Aug 10 2009Kim Kardsashian is blonde and other news
- Kathy Griffin brought Levi Johnston as her date to the Teen Choice Awards. Was this an object lesson for the kids about cougars' old age making them infertile so you don't even have to bother with a condom? Because that's what I picked up. [PopEater]
- Halle Berry is pregnant again? But how?! We haven't made love since that time I wrote the words "Halle" on a bagel. [A Socialite's Life]
- Ashley Greene was caught making out with Chace Crawford this morning. Was that before or after she leaked nude pictures of herself? [Lainey Gossip]
- Natasha Henstridge is making me reconsider women over 30. (But 35's the cut off. Seriously.) [Celebslam]
- Milo Ventimiglia shirtless. In case you're into that sort of thing. (Read: The bare chest of a midget fucker.) [Just Jared]
- Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt keep the sparks alive. Until later that night when they realize that wasn't a lumpy pillow it was Maddox the whole time. "Ha ha! We need to start giving these kids away." [PopSugar]
- Dane Cook booed at the Teen Choice Awards. Wow. I suddenly don't fear the future anymore. It's going to be okay! [The Blemish]
Mar 11 2009Hayden Panettiere wants Milo Ventimiglia kicked off Heroes
Since their break-up a few weeks ago, Hayden Panettiere has launched a tiny crusade to get Milo Ventimiglia kicked off of Heroes despite the fact that'd be the equivalent of getting rid of the redneck strippers on Rock of Love. (Read: Retarded.) OK! Magazine reports:
"She refuses to be on the set at the same time as him," the pal tells OK!. "She is making it difficult for everyone involved." (Her rep denies this).
As for Milo, "He's not going to play any games or stoop to her level," says the friend.
Fortunately for NBC, I have a solution to this problem: Think of Heroes as a girlfriend who wants you to stop drinking and playing Xbox in your underwear. Or to a less dire extent, a horse that broke its leg in a race.
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Feb 20 2009Hayden Panettiere & Milo Ventimiglia broke up over pregnancy scare
Hayden Panettiere's relationship with Milo Ventimiglia apparently wasn't strong enough to survive the always-fun pregnancy scare. According to the Chicago Sun-Times, "The test proved negative but apparently caused friction that sparked the breakup."
Pregnancy scares are the true test of a relationship which is why I like to get it out of the way on day one. Why delay the inevitable? That's what I always say. Ladies?
Continue Reading "Hayden Panettiere & Milo Ventimiglia broke up over pregnancy scare"
Feb 17 2009Hayden Panettiere & Milo Ventimiglia officially over
Considering she was spotted making out with Jesse McCartney, it's no surprise Hayden Panettiere and her Heroes co-star Milo Ventimiglia have officially hit the skids. Us Magazine reports:
"It was a lifestyle conflict," a source close to the couple tells Us, adding that the split happened within the last week. "They were in very different places."
The source tells Us that Panettiere, 19, "is young. She likes to go out in the Hollywood scene and that's not his style."
Ventimiglia, 31, "has been concentrating on work on his production company [Divide Pictures]," the source adds.
Maybe a 12-year age gap was a bit of a stretch, but since I'm almost 29, let's say 10 years is probably the safer bet. And to sweeten the pot, I always put out on the first date. I'm a rare breed, I know.
Continue Reading "Hayden Panettiere & Milo Ventimiglia officially over"
Feb 6 2009Hayden Panettiere is single or a horrible cheater
Apparently no longer with her Heroes co-star Milo Ventimiglia, Hayden Panettiere was spotted making out with singer Jesse McCartney at Crown Bar Wednesday night, according to Radar Online:
The Heroes star was sitting on Jesse's lap while he kissed her neck. Then she got up and did some crazy sexy dance in his lap.
It must be over between Hayden and her long-time squeeze Milo Ventimigla, 31, because after her inside PDA with Jesse, 21, they went outside to smoke and he wrapped his arms around her from behind and was kissing her neck again.
In the middle of this, a girl approached Hayden to ask for her autograph on the back of a store receipt. Hayden was nice enough to oblige.
Wow, single and kind of slutty. - - Nope, still not watching Heroes again. That said, I have been known to be swayed by lap dances: nature's bargaining chip.
Legal Notice: Agreement to watch one episode of Heroes constitutes gratuity. No substitutions. Due to strictly held religious beliefs by The Superficial Writer, pasties prohibited. BYOB.
Continue Reading "Hayden Panettiere is single or a horrible cheater"
Jul 30 2008Hayden Panettiere does a striptease for a man that's not me?! I've lost the will to live
Hayden Panettiere (seen here at Comic-Con over the weekend trying to keep her hands clean from dork debris) reportedly gave her boyfriend Milo Ventimiglia a striptease on the set of Heroes for his 31st birthday. Why must you forsake me, Lord? Australia News Limited reports:
A source said: "Hayden gave Milo an unforgettable birthday surprise by morphing from her bouncy cheerleader character in Heroes to a bump-and-grind striptease. As she sang 'Happy Birthday' to Milo in front of cast and crew during lunch she ripped off the costume to show off her sexy red lingerie. Milo's face went bright red."
You know how I know this isn't true? Because I spent the past six hours crying under my desk which means IT NEVER HAPPENED. Nobody talk about this again. In fact - Hold on, I just got an e-mail from The Geekologie Writer:
"Hey, remember how you're not Milo Ventimiglia and didn't get a lap dance from Hayden Panettiere? I had those words tattooed on my forehead. Wings later?"
Nice. Real nice. Wait, here's one from my mom:
"Honey, I just heard the news. Don't worry, you'll meet a nice girl soon who'll do naughty dances for you. But maybe it wouldn't hurt to lower your expectations a little. Do you remember that sweet girl who lived down the street and murdered her whole family? I hear she's single! Smooches."
Christ, who's next? The president? *BEEP* Ah, shit...:
"I LIKE WEARING COWBOY HATS!"
Thanks to Tyler for the really great tip. It's so great that I actually have one for you: I'm your biological father.
Jul 11 2008Hayden Panettiere getting engaged?! NOOOOOOO!
Hayden Panettiere's boyfriend and Heroes co-star Milo Ventimiglia is picking out engagement rings for my favorite midget hottie. While I figure out the best way to punch him in the gonads, scope out the details from InTouch:
The actor, 31, recently confided to a friend that even though Hayden is only 18 years old, he wants to get engaged, preferably this year. “Milo was looking at rings in late June,” the pal says. “He really likes Cartier and intends to spend around $200,000.”
Okay, sure, Milo can provide Hayden with fancy things like his Hollywood good looks and an expensive engagement. But I've got a face full of handsome as well. Okay, maybe I'm not rich, but I know how to treat a lady. You've got to support their neck and be sure to burp them after eating. Oh yeah, I know my shit. Hayden, let's get romantic.
Continue Reading "Hayden Panettiere getting engaged?! NOOOOOOO!"
