Jun 30 2009Khloe Kardashian gets Kim drunk
- Kim Kardashian got trashed at Khloe's 25th birthday and somehow a sex tape didn't emerge. I'm as shocked as you are. [Khloe Kardashian]
- Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick want you to look at the new babies they bought. Or as I like to call them the "Sorry I Cheated on You, Horseface" Twins. [Lainey Gossip]
- Nicky Hilton enjoys laughing at the misfortune of others. That's for the two people who actually think there's a good Hilton sister. I'll let you guess who they are. [The Blemish]
- Vanessa Minnillo rebounds with Topher Grace. How sad must be it for Nick Lachey to learn the villain from the shitty Spider-man movie obviously has more money than him? [Celebslam]
- Kelly Brook's boyfriend wore a Michael Jackson T-shirt today which means he's gay and she should start having unprotected sex with me. Hey, you can't argue with science. [Just Jared]
- Zac Efron wears a life preserver on a short boat trip. Somebody get this kid a towel. For his vagina. [PopSugar]
- Chace Crawford has a new haircut! And yet somehow this doesn't trump the non-stop media coverage of Michael Jackson's death. Is there no justice?! [ICYDK]
Jun 23 2009Britney Spears: Stateside and braless
- Robert Pattinson continues to film that movie that's not about vampires. Until after the first test screening that is. [Lainey Gossip]
- Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are the proud parents of twins. From another woman's vagina. Awww yeah! [Pink is the New Blog]
- Kevin Federline owes the IRS a shit-ton of back taxes. And by Kevin I mean Britney because let's be honest about who's going to cover it. [Celebslam]
- Dakota Fanning obviously wasn't having a light day. [The Blemish]
- Jenna Jameson doesn't like being called "wide." Human cock holster? Yes. Wide? Hell no. [ICYDK]
- Jon and Kate divorce episode set record ratings for the show. What can they exploit next? Got it! Sell Joel on the black market. That shit practically writes itself. [Just Jared]
- Lindsay Lohan was invited to the Transformers premiere last night. So, are they trying to jinx the movie? Some sort of tax write-off? I'm confused. [PopSugar]
Apr 29 2009Sarah Jessica Parker & Matthew Broderick will shut you up. With twins!
In response to rumors they're getting a divorce, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick have announced they're expecting twins. Via surrogate that is. The AP reports:
Parker, 44, and Broderick, 47, "are happily anticipating the birth of their twin daughters later this summer with the generous help of a surrogate. The entire family is overjoyed," said a statement from the publicists.
The couple has a 6-year-old son, James Wilkie Broderick, and will mark their 12th wedding anniversary next month.
Details about the surrogate or her pregnancy were unavailable, the publicists said.
Because nothing proves a couple's undying love for each other than not even having the required sex to procreate. God, what devotion.
Continue Reading "Sarah Jessica Parker & Matthew Broderick will shut you up. With twins!"
Apr 8 2009Hugh Jackman thinks he's so tough...
- Hugh Jackman arrives at the Sydney premiere of Wolverine by jumping out of a helicopter. Somebody should put this guy in one of those superhero movies. [Vulture]
- Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are finally divorcing. He wants to date other women while she just wants to realize her dream of competing in the Kentucky Derby. Don't stop believing! [Allie is Wired]
- Levi Johnston continues to battle Sarah Palin in the press. Wants people to know he's not white trash, he just likes huntin', fishin' and knockin' bitches up. That's all. [Jezebel]
- Hugh Laurie is not a fan of pranks on the set of House. Then again his mother was killed by a marching band hiding inside an elevator, so I can see how this might offend him. [Videogum]
- Keith Urban scores a threesome with his wife Nicole Kidman and Taylor Swift. He was just about to quit country music altogether, but it turns out it can get you laid - and this time not with a relative. [Best Week Ever]
Jan 7 2009Sarah Jessica Parker is packing her bags
Seen here apparently wearing my bathrobe in public, Sarah Jessica Parker is getting the ready to hit the ol' dusty trail and move away from the allegedly unfaithful Matthew Broderick, according to Star:
"The time has come when she realizes it just isn't worth it," a friend of the couple tells Star. "Sarah Jessica is determined to get her own place and bring down the curtain on her marriage."
Adds another insider: "Sarah's not stupid. She knows exactly what's going on. For a while it was easier for her to stay than go through a harsh divorce. They're essentially living separate lives."
Matthew Broderick's penis released the following statement:
I'm still not coming out and you can't make me. Not without a coroner's report, and I'm allowed to identify the body. Oh, God, there she is! Wait. Just a horse. Just a horse.
Jul 23 2008Matthew Broderick caught cheating on Sarah Jessica Parker
Matthew Broderick is allegedly having an affair with a 25-year-old youth counselor he met at a bar earlier this year. Eyewitnesses claim to have seen the two together numerous times while Sarah Jessica Parker was in LA filming Sex and the City: The Movie, according to Star:
Sources say the woman felt conflicted with her relationship with Matthew, whom she nicknamed "Matty Cakes." She tried to end it, say insiders, but that didn't happen and over the next month — when Sarah Jessica was filming Sex and the City: The Movie in Los Angeles — multiple eyewitnesses say they saw Matthew make late-night visits to the other woman's apartment building.
During one tryst, they arrived at her friend's apartment after a night of heavy drinking, says a source. She dragged Matthew into the friend's bedroom, then shut the door. "A half hour later, Matthew opened the bedroom door, mumbled 'Well... 'bye!' and walked out. The friend found her passed out on the bed in her panties."
I'm surprised Sarah Jessica Parker hasn't caught Matthew Broderick sticking his penis in a variety of things besides her. Like a ham sandwich. Or, let's be frank, a blender.
