Aug 17 2009Tyra Banks joins a flash mob and other news
- Jesus Luz earns his paycheck at Madonna's 51st birthday dinner. [Splash News]
- Jessica Simpson is NOT replacing Paula Abdul. Is it because she can't read? That's discrimination! [PopEater]
- Gwyneth Paltrow used to be in on the jokes. Now she's the ass end. [Lainey Gossip]
- Tom Cruise's white sneakers: A revealing look. [Celebslam]
- Michael Vick is now blogging his apology. Jesus Christ. The man has to play for the shitass Eagles now. Hasn't he suffered enough? (Note: I'm being facetious. About the suffering enough part.) [Just Jared]
- Gwen Stefani is a recent mother of two yet I don't suspect her of hiding fried chicken in her purse. Just throwing that out there. [PopSugar]
- Mark Wahlberg's lungs are made of vaginas. [The Blemish]
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Aug 2 2009Mark Wahlberg is a married man
Mark Wahlberg and his longtime girlfriend Rhea Durham tied the knot yesterday, according to People:
The couple, who have three children - Ella Rae, 5, Michael, 3, and 10-month-old Brendan Joseph - were married Saturday in an intimate and romantic ceremony attended by their children and about 12 close friends and family at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Beverly Hills.
As for adding more children to their brood? "I'm the youngest of nine," Wahlberg said, adding that the final count will be "however many Mom wants to have."
In related news, Rhea Durham's vagina was last seen jumping on the wing of a plane headed to Mexico...
Oct 20 2008Sarah Palin fraternizes with liberal comedians (Jesus is gonna be pissed!)
Sarah Palin made her highly-publicized Saturday Night Live appearance and, honestly, didn't do a whole lot. I expected some pizazz, you know? She's the fucking Ron Burgundy of politics. C'mon! If it's in front of her, she'll say it in that folksy voice of hers that makes you wonder how long Alaska's been a town in Wisconsin. Instead, what do we get? Sarah Palin standing around while Alec Baldwin pretends to think she's Tina Fey. LAME. Okay, maybe, I'm overreacting a bit because I was convinced Sarah and Tina were going to make-out in Stars N' Stripes bikinis. Such imagery would've brought our divided nation together towards a common goal. I dunno what exactly that goal would be, but I guarantee there'd be nachos and strippers there. Ooh, and mini golf. Who doesn't love that shit? (Hint: Terrorists.)
Bonus Mark Wahlberg cameo after the jump.
Continue Reading "Sarah Palin fraternizes with liberal comedians (Jesus is gonna be pissed!)"
Oct 13 2008Mark Wahlberg does not enjoy parody
Mark Wahlberg has his panties in a bunch over a Saturday Night Live sketch from last week called "Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals." It features Andy Samberg playing Mark as he introduces himself to barnyard animals. Unfortunately, Marky Mark hated it so much that not only does he never want to host SNL, but he wishes Joe Piscopo was still on it. Whoa! Jesus. Let's not say things we can't take back. The New York Post reports:
"Someone showed it to me on YouTube. It wasn't like Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin, that's for sure. And "Saturday Night Live" hasn't been funny for a long time. They've asked me to do the show a ton of times. I used to watch it when Eddie Murphy was there and Joe Piscopo and Bill Murray. I don't even know who's on the show now."
I embedded the clip after the jump which I thought was funny. Then again, I was suckered into watching Adam Sandler's You Don't Mess with the Zohan this weekend, so right now everything seems hysterical in comparison. I'm pretty sure my own penis could fall off, and I'd giggle like a schoolgirl.
