May 19 2009Anna Faris, will you marry me? (Or just do naked stuff.)
- Anna Faris accidentally sent a sexually explicit text to a child during a routine "Sex Text Wednesday" with her boyfriend. And it's official, I must kill this man in battle and take Anna as my bride. There's really no other option at this point. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Christian Bale keeps getting asked about the leaked rant on the set of Terminator: Salvation, yet no one is getting headbutted. You've changed, man. You've changed. [Lainey Gossip]
- Mario Lopez threw the first pitch of last night's Dodger's game. I could go for the obvious joke here and say he throws like a woman, but why delude ourselves? It's more like a gay man. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Jon & Kate Gosselin will talk about their marital woes on the season premiere of their show. Then make their children wear top hats and tap dance because once you stop exploiting, you just can't stop! [Just Jared]
- Fergie admits to being bisexual and having had sex with women. Wait, shouldn't that be heterosexual. You know, because of the penis? [Celebslam]
Mar 18 2009Mario Lopez hearts lipstick
A heavily make-up'd Mario Lopez escorted Eva Longoria Parker for her 34th birthday Monday night while Tony Parker was off playing for the Spurs. I guess the lipstick is to convince Tony that Mario's "just one of the girls." Then again, that's sort of like putting camouflage on a tree: Redundant.
Nov 17 2008Mario Lopez continues his never-ending war on sleeves
A.C. Slater,
What is it with you and sleeves? Why do they vex you so?
I've put great a deal of effort into this question (five minutes) and narrowed it down to a list of likely scenarios that fuel your unbridled hatred for armwear. If these hit close to home, my apologies:
1. Dustin Diamond. 'Nuff said.
2. A sleeve touched your special place when a grown-up wasn't around.
3. One time a beautiful woman person asked to see your guns, but they were buried under a sleeve causing you to scream into the night, "NO, DAMN YOU! NEVER AGAIN, SLEEVES!"
4. A sleeve murdered your father over an unpaid debt.
5. They're itchy.
I understand you're currently in South Beach, but a timely response would be appreciated before I tell people a sleeve broke your heart and slept with your brother.
Sincerely,
The Superficial Writer
P.S. How much are we talking for you to show up to my work and call people "Preppy?" Five, ten bucks? Shoot me a figure which I'll continually reject until you settle for a McMuffin.
Continue Reading "Mario Lopez continues his never-ending war on sleeves"
May 27 2008Karina Smirnoff nipples Mario Lopez in the face, gets hurled in disgust
Karina Smirnoff and her Dancing With The Stars lover/partner A.C. Slater hit the beach in Miami over the holiday weekend. Slater and Karina attempted to pull off some dance moves in the ocean until Karina's bare nipple hit him in the nose. A.C. responded by dumping her ass face first into the sea. All, while screaming, "Ew! EW! Ohmygod ohmygod it touched my nose! Does anyone have a wetnap? Seriously."
NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions. Unless your boss is cool with Saved By the Bell characters getting nipped in the retina then, by all means, proceed.
Continue Reading "Karina Smirnoff nipples Mario Lopez in the face, gets hurled in disgust"
