Nov 16 2009Paris Hilton wants to destroy the Kardashians
Paris Hilton is pissed that the Kardashians rode her admittedly roomy labia to stardom and now make more money than she does. However, Paris is already planning to destroy them by copying their every move? Okay, sure. Page Six reports:
"She used to command $100,000 for club appearances, but now Kim is the hottest girl -- and they aren't friends anymore. The magazines are bidding around $300,000 for Kourtney's baby-shower and baby pictures. And Khloe's wedding brought in record ratings for E!
"Paris has realized that standing for excess in a recession doesn't appeal," our insider continued. "The Kardashian girls seem more real, and girls identify with them more. She's got to ditch the pink Bentley and concentrate on developing herself."
Sources close to Hilton said she's carefully working on the launch of her new hair and beauty line, which she'll unveil in Beverly Hills on Tuesday, taking the lead from the Kardashians by having her family at her side.
Of course, there's an easier way to settle this: Everyone involved in this story kills themselves and whoever disrupts the most CNN coverage wins. Ready GO!
NOTE: Apologies to Kourtney's unborn child except not really and you're welcome.
Continue Reading "Paris Hilton wants to destroy the Kardashians"
Nov 2 2009Famous People in Costumes
Because everyone knows Hollywood is a godless bordello of Sodomites, it's no surprise the stars came out to celebrate Halloween/pay homage to Satan for their careers. So here's a gathering of costumed celebs In no particular order:
Jessica Lowndes as God Willing, the Future Referee of My Pants.
Mariah Carey as A Victoria's Secret Angel with Elephantitis.
Jessica Alba as Dora the Explorer: For Daddies. (WTF?)
Gwen Stefani as Gavin Rossdale's Cowpoke.
Khloe Kardashian as Catwoman with Self-Esteem Issues.
AnnaLynne McCord as Batgirl Who Still Gets Asked "Wait. They remade 90210?"
Bai Ling as... Bai Ling? I don't even know.
Brooke Shields as Flapper Mom with Tom Cruise Punching Action.
Christina Aguilera as the Cheapest Celebrity Mom Ever. (You're rich, lady!)
Heidi Klum as a Woman Who Just Gave Birth Hiding Her Body in Shame Underneath the World's Most Elaborate Bird Costume.
HAIL SATAN!
Scope Out (40) Pics of Costumed Celebs After the Jump
Oct 27 2009Khloe Kardashian & Lamar Odom just doomed their fake marriage
As if the nearly month-long pre-nup negotiations weren't enough of a bad omen, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom decided to piss in the face of fate and get their initials tattooed on each other because that's not bad luck or anything. In the meantime, I'm assuming Khloe posted the pics on her blog because she has friends in the divorce pool for this train wreck and wanted to protect her cut. Clever wildebeest girl...
NOTE: Kudos to commenter saralee for pointing out the pack of Hostess Cakes next to Khloe's hand in case anyone needed "proof of life" these were legit.
Continue Reading "Khloe Kardashian & Lamar Odom just doomed their fake marriage"
Oct 23 2009Khloe Kardashian hasn't met Lamar's kids
Despite being married to the guy, Khloe Kardashian apparently hasn't even met Lamar Odom's kids yet, according to PopEater. Then again what's more important: meeting the man you're going to spend the rest of your life with's children or immediately hawking your marriage on a reality show so you can rub it in Kim's face even though you're essentially riding on her vagina's coattails from being in that sex tape? Honestly, that's a tough call.
Oct 22 2009Kim Kardashian's birthday is NOT an excuse to avoid photographing her ass
Kim Kardashian celebrated her 29th birthday again last night at Philippe's in West Hollywood and for some reason the paparazzi obliged her demands to not photograph her ass. Because people are dying to see what Kim's face looks like with 800 pounds of make-up. No, really, it's probably my most popular request besides "Kevin James' taint." True story.
Scope Out (16) Pics of Kim's Birthday After the Jump
Continue Reading "Kim Kardashian's birthday is NOT an excuse to avoid photographing her ass"
Oct 19 2009Khloe Kardashian & Lamar Odom agree on a pre-nup
Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom have reached an agreement on a pre-nup and will make their marriage official this week, according to TMZ:
We know Lamar and Khloe have orally agreed, but the deal is not yet inked. It's basically the same structure as we first reported when they began negotiating. Lamar's $33 million -- which he stands to make during his 4-year contract with the Lakers -- is out of bounds for Khloe. But Lamar will fund the joint account, and Khloe can do considerable damage with that.
Again, as we reported, Khloe will get an annual lump sum, which will not go up or down throughout the marriage.
We also know during the negotiations Khloe (with the help of her mom, Kris) got Lamar to agree to buy a nice, expensive house for both of them that will probably cost $5 million minimum.
RadarOnline has details on some of the demands Khloe was making and naturally it reads like a gold-digger's shopping list:
A flat sum of about $500,000 for every year they were married, $25,000 a month in general support, their new house, a new luxury vehicle at the end of every lease cycle, $5,000 a month for shopping, $1,000 for beauty care, AND courtside Lakers tickets for everyone in her family.
For those of you questioning the $1,000/month in beauty care, it's actually pretty expensive to wax an entire Wookiee every week. Factor in the occasional mauling and it adds up, so I'm going to let Khloe slide on this one because let it never be said I'm not a kind and understanding individual.
Continue Reading "Khloe Kardashian & Lamar Odom agree on a pre-nup"
Oct 6 2009Lamar Odom isn't giving Khloe Kardashian a dime
Turns out Lamar Odom is fully aware of the Kardashians' reputation after all, which is surprising for a man who "married" one after just a month of dating. TMZ reports:
We've learned Odom went to the Beverly Hills law office of divorce-guru Neal Hersh last Friday to hash out the terms. Hersh won't return our call, but Odom's people tell us "Lamar has a set of balls" -- translation, he's not giving Khloe half of anything.
We're told Lamar wants to make sure the money and other assets he brings into the marriage are solely his. Beyond that, we're told Lamar ain't giving Khloe half of his earnings going forward.
Of course, Khloe married Lamar for love, so none of this really matters.
UPDATE: Khloe Kardashian is reportedly perched atop the Empire State Building where she refuses to stop batting down fighter jets until Lamar Odom's attorney agree to a 70/30 split...
Continue Reading "Lamar Odom isn't giving Khloe Kardashian a dime"
Sep 30 2009Khloe Kardashian's wedding scripted to the last detail
While Khloe Kardashian's hawking the OK! Magazine wedding issue on her blog, TMZ has audio that proves pretty much every single detail of her still-not-legally-binding marriage to Lamar Odom was entirely scripted by the producers of Keeping Up with the Kardashians:
Forget bridesmaids ... Khloe Kardashian needed TV producers for her faux wedding. Listen to the walkie-talkie chatter behind the scenes, choreographing Khloe's every move.
Everything was planned ... even the moment when Khloe told Bruce Jenner she considered him her "real dad."
The production was staged right down to the number of steps Khloe would backpedal before taking the plunge -- about 10.
Of course, when using Sasquatch actors it's best to be fully prepared so you can avoid such unfortunate instances as "Holy shit, it's eating that baby!" And "Can someone bring me a new plate of chicken? This one has a Sasquatch on it."
