Oct 15 2009Katie Price's breasts could be bigger and other news
- Kelly Bensimon wants to do Playboy and why not? It's not like you have to get naked anymore. They'll probably even let her wear a sweater. [PopEater]
- Lindsay Lohan admits her Ungaro fashion debut sucked then blames it on everyone else. Ah, yeah, they're getting their money's worth. [Lainey Gossip]
- Nicolas Cage owned a fucking castle. Literally. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Tyra Banks is airing the first televised colonic because apparently Jon and Kate Plus 8 wasn't a big enough TV shitstorm. [Just Jared]
- Michael Jackson's kids are about to hop on the exploitation express. Christ, what took so long? [Celebslam]
- John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston might be back together. This time they're positive they can be an even more boring couple. [PopSugar]
- Taylor Swift is hosting SNL on November 7. So mark your calendars for the day Kanye jokes will no longer be funny. [The Blemish]
- Samantha Ronson or a young John Kerry? You decide. [Socialite Life]
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Oct 7 2009Katy Perry dresses like a 5 year old and other news
- Nick Nolte's son was arrested for DUI today. Lucky. The only thing my father and I ever did together was play catch and maintain open lines of communication. Way to be really there for me, dad. [PopEater]
- Dina Lohan launches Shoe-han and it's exactly as retarded as it sounds. [Lainey Gossip]
- Katie Price executes the always classic Britney Spears Umbrella attack. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Jennifer Lopez is "Lola" now. [Just Jared]
- Chris Brown is probably going to get sued by Wrigley's which totally ruins everyone's plans to make sure he suffers absolutely no consequences. Dammit, Wrigley's! [Celebslam]
- Shia LaBeouf meets Gordon Gekko. [PopSugar]
- Anna Nicole Smith was apparently our nation's most underrated acting talent. [The Blemish]
- Taylor Lautner just made Tom Cruise drop the shirt button he uses for a dinner plate. [Socialite Life]
Scope Out (16) Pics of Katy After the Jump
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Aug 26 2009Mary-Louise Parker outside Letterman and other news
- Miley Cyrus is a player. Didn't they stone women for that in the Bible? Just sayin'. [Lainey Gossip]
- Linda Hogan wants Hulk thrown in jail if he doesn't give her the Harley he promised in the divorce settlement. [PopEater]
- Leonardo DiCaprio asked to drop 30 pounds for his role in Inception. This is what happens when you hang out with Russell Crowe. [Wonderwall]
- Jessica Simpson is eyeing up another quarterback. To date. To date. Not to slap on a hoagie roll. [Celebslam]
- Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene bailed on a Twilight convention in Jersey. Of course, this would mean something if either of them could magically morph into Robert Pattinson. Or Harry Potter with new Dry-Humping Action. [Just Jared]
- Channing Tatum's stripper days returns to haunt him. And also show people he can emote. Who knew? [PopSugar]
- Katie Price hasn't cried once over her divorce from Peter Andre. Mostly because she's a robot sent from the future to promote literacy with her bionic breasts. I'm suddenly feeling my reading comprehension skills slipping. Help me, Katie-tron! [Socialite Life]
- Eddie Cibrian has filed for divorce AND is seeking spousal support. Classy. [Splash News]
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Aug 5 2009Katie Price's topless breasts
Here's a topless Katie Price relaxing in a hotel pool in Spain yesterday, and whoever shot these, kudos on being the worst paparazzi in the history of paparazzing. Seriously, these are the world's largest freaking breasts, and yet somehow you managed to mostly get shots of a metal bar. Had you shown a little initiative and climbed out of the tree, Katie would've posed for you and given you a free copy of her book. At this point, I'd suggest another profession, but I doubt there's a market for pool stair photographers. And if there is, you'd be fired for snapping pics of a lawn chair. Because you're legally blind.
NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that aren't 17. (What now, Vanessa Hudgens' legal team?)
Jul 24 2009Katie Price still dedicated to salesmanship
Aw, no way, the retard circus is back in town! I'm just kidding. (It's next week.) These are shots of Katie Price promoting her latest book Sapphire in London, and check out an excerpt from the product description on Amazon:
Sapphire Jones doesn't believe in relationships anymore - not since she caught her husband in bed with another woman. Now Sapphire only sees men on her terms which is why her current lover is younger than her, good looking, doesn't place any emotional demands on her [so far, fingers crossed] and is great in bed.
For a while there, I wondered how Katie Price was writing so many goddamn books. Now I realize she's not so much writing as vomiting onto a couple pages then cleverly using her massive tits to sell them at bookstores. But, honestly, who's falling for that? (I'll take two.)
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Jul 19 2009Katie Price's drunken areola slip
Here's Katie "Jordan" Price drunk off her ass in London last night where, not surprisingly, her dress failed to contain her insane breasts. Leave it to Katie Price to look at a tiny scrap of fabric and think "Oh yeah, my tits are staying in that." And for the record, I mean that in the most respectful way because, honestly, I don't know how else you exemplify heroism. Besides letting me touch them. Just throwing that out there.
NOTE: Pic links to LSFW version. Unless you work at a pepperoni plant.
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Jul 17 2009Kendra Wilkinson's inflating breasts and other news
- Jake Gyllenhaal's Prince of Persia official photo looks Middle Eastern. Not counting Jake. [Lainey Gossip]
- Nick Lachey has never stopped loving Jessica Simpson. Which is why he's going to need to bang a bunch of strippers before deciding to get back together. Because of all the love. [Celebslam]
- Jim Cavaziel was in a motorcycle accident caused by a crazed lunatic throwing a bicycle at him. Dammit, Mel! [PopEater]
- Katie Price might star in a remake of Baywatch. Huh. So there is a legitimate use for her. Weird. [Just Jared]
- Lauren Conrad mocks Heidi Montag's Playboy cover. Wait. Did Lauren Conrad just do something interesting? Or did I take the bad acid again? Shiiiiit. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Zac Efron is learning how to scuba dive. Will he bang a mermaid or a merman? Only time will tell. (Note: Go near Ariel and I'll cut you.) [PopSugar]
BONUS NEWS: The Most Fucked Up Thing I've Read All Day.
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Jun 18 2009Katie Price has a lot of bikinis
Katie Price continued her calendar shoot in Ibiza today, and it's comforting to see she'll never stop posing like Barbie's sister who didn't quite make it in Hollywood yet somehow claims to be an "actress." Then why won't she let us see her movies? Or come over during the day? Life's so mysterious sometimes.
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