Jun 11 2009Pete Wentz & Ashlee Simpson fight bigotry. I think.
- Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson campaign for marriage equality by putting tape over their mouths. Is it because they're both women? I'm confused. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Chastity Bono is getting a sex change operation. No! Then she'll figure out we're obsessed with breasts. Dammit, years of stealth operations down the drain. [ICYDK]
- Kristen Stewart's Joan Jett haircut angers Twi-hards. Unfortunately, they read the pansy vampire books and will probably jsut resort to bitching on the Internet. Instead of cutting themselves. Prove me right! [Lainey Gossip]
- Bret Michaels posts pictures of his broken nose which is really just an elaborate ruse to cover up the VD. Well played, Bret Michaels. Well played. [Just Jared]
- Billy Ray Cyrus is happy Miley left Justin Gaston for Nick Jonas. He can kick that kid's ass without even leaving the La-Z-boy. True story. [Celebslam]
- Jon Hamm photographed on the set of Mad Men. Because there's nothing like a full hour of smoking and misogyny. [PopSugar]
Jun 9 2009Miley Cyrus and that gay model break up
Miley Cyrus has ended her nine month relationship with 20-year-old model Justin Gaston, according to E! News:
Speculation of trouble peaked yesterday when the two simultaneously twittered about tears and goodbyes.
A source close to the couple says both of them are really heartbroken over the split.
However, word is distance may not have been the only thing to come between the two. A certain famous ex-BF may have exacerbated the rift...
Gaston, a Louisiana native, has told pals that the star's resurrected friendship with Nick Jonas this spring was his Achilles' heel.
"She obviously has been hanging out with Nick again a lot, and Justin was cool with it at first, as long as it was just a cool, friendly thing," says an insider. "She didn't cheat, but I guess Nick was trying to get her back the whole time."
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say Miley Cyrus hates her vagina. No, really, what other explanation is there for dating an obviously gay male and then leaving him for a Jonas Brother? Even Jesus is reading this and saying "I will never understand the south..."
May 27 2009Rihanna & Kanye West in 'Paranoid'
- Jessica Simpson is going back to reality TV. This time to travel around the world investigating body images and beauty in other cultures. Ten buck says she ends up at Chili's and thinks it's Mexico. [Lainey Gossip]
- Miley Cyrus' boyfriend Justin Gaston says he wishes he could be a lapdog that's petted and loved all day. -- Seriously, what else does this kid need to do let Billy Ray Cyrus know his daughter is dating a gay man? I thought that was illegal in the South. Or am I thinking about book learning? [The Blemish]
- Winona Ryder admits the biggest challenge in her life was getting over Johnny Depp. Wow. Way to obsess over things for twenty freaking years. Get me in a relationship with that. [ICYDK]
- Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig are starring in a Broadway play together. It's called "Cha-Ching! I Can Almost Hear the Money Flying Out of Every Single Vagina That Just Read This." [Just Jared]
- Carrie Prejean is guest hosting Fox & Friends this week. Somewhere Rush Limbaugh just got an erection. Or at least tried until he remembered he's out of Mexican Viagra and BBQ sauce. Don't ask. [Jezebel]
- Lauren Conrad admits the producers of The Hills forced a reconciliation between her and Heidi. And by forced she meant wrote it in the script that tells her exactly how to look, feel, act and talk. You know, just like real life. [PopSugar]
Apr 6 2009Mickey Rourke wrestles. Like in that movie.
- Mickey Rourke battles Chris Jericho on Wrestlemania 25. The loser: dignity. Ha! See how I assumed there'd be any at a wrestling event? I'm adorable. [Videogum]
- Ashlee Simpson makes Bronx Mowgli watch Fall Out Boy concerts. That's gotta be the worst case of child abuse I've ever heard. Can't we give this kid to Madonna? [PopSugar]
- Zac Efron refuses to Twitter, but Hugh Jackman is all about it. Ladies, adjust your fantasies accordingly. [Vulture]
- Miley Cyrus doesn't care for Robert Pattinson. Based solely on her boyfriend Justin Gaston, I'm going to assume the reason is "Not gay enough." [Allie is Wired]
- Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady's security shot at a paparazzo trying to get pics of their second wedding in Costa Rica. Did the guy look like Bridget Moynahan? Otherwise, that sounds a tad overboard. [Jezebel]
Mar 1 2009Miley Cyrus' dad shouldn't count his motorcycles before they're hatched
Miley Cyrus and her family are slowly becoming my favorite inevitable train wreck. Mostly because I know this one will end in "We don't know how she got pregnant; we thought he was gay. I mean, immaculate conception!" To emphasize my point, here's Miley wearing a lowcut shirt over a bikini while going for a jog with her 20-year-old boyfriend Justin Gaston yesterday. And where's her dad during all this? Posing with his motorcycle. However, nobody knows more than me that sexy doesn't take the weekend off. Or start work in Billy Ray's case.
Continue Reading "Miley Cyrus' dad shouldn't count his motorcycles before they're hatched"
Nov 23 2008Crystal Rock Audigier is Paris Hilton in waiting
Saturday night, fashion designer Christian Audigier threw his daughter Crystal Rock a 16th birthday party in Hollywood that made every single episode of My Super Sweet 16 look like it was filmed at goddamn Chuck E. Cheese. Take a look at what he sprung for:
1. Two cars delivered by Paris and Nicky Hilton. Who doesn't love a grim look at the future?
2. T.I. Because sweet 16's are totally gangsta, dawg.
3. The Pussycat Dolls. What's a birthday party without strippers? Mazal tov!
4. Miley Cyrus' boyfriend Justin Gaston. Minus the Miley, add extra gay.
5. Khloe Kardashian. So everyone felt more beautiful by comparison. Good thinking.
Jesus, with a shindig like this I'm surprised there wasn't a secret room full of blood diamonds and baby panda skins. Her parents must hate her.
Continue Reading "Crystal Rock Audigier is Paris Hilton in waiting"
Oct 24 2008Billy Ray Cyrus gives Miley 'the talk'
Miley Cyrus apparently got "the talk" from her dad Billy Ray seeing as she's turning 16 soon and dating a 20-year-old model Justin Gaston who may or may not want to have sex with her. (Jury's still out.) Billy Ray laid it all out for Miley that her career hinges on her ability to sell Hannah Montana dolls to folks in the Bible Belt, so she better fly straight. Also, he ain't giving up his diamond ter-let. The Sun reports:
A close family friend says Billy Ray told him: “We brought Miley up with good morals and strong religion, but she’s at that age where she is bound to be experimenting and her hormones are going nuts.
“Miley’s career is just rolling along now and getting bigger and bigger. Everyone loves her and she has a shot to have a career like JULIA ROBERTS or JENNIFER ANISTON or someone like that. I told her in no uncertain terms that her career would be over if something stupid were to happen and she would no longer be a role model for young girls, something she takes very seriously.
“I think I made an impression on her; at least I hope so. I don’t want to forbid her from dating because that would just make her sneak around."
So, basically, Billy Ray locked Miley Cyrus in a room full of "Jamie Lynn Spears shopping at Wal-Mart" pictures until she forged her own chastity belt. Now that's just good parenting. I don't care who you are.
Oct 23 2008Miley Cyrus' boyfriend is a wholesome young man
These are shots of Miley Cyrus' new boyfriend Justin Gaston drunk off his ass at a party full of topless dudes over the summer. Apparently, Billy Ray Cyrus has been under the impression Justin is a fine, upstanding young man who goes to church and doesn't drink, so I can't figure out what he's more pissed about: That he was lied to. Or that he let a homosexual watch his TV. Shit, there goes his NRA membership. And right before the annual potluck, too! Sonofa...
Continue Reading "Miley Cyrus' boyfriend is a wholesome young man"
