Apr 10 2008Katie Price, okay, seriously, what the hell?

Katie "Jordan" Price made a promotional stop at Harrod's for her newest children's book "Mermaids and Pirates: Follow the Fish." That's right: Katie Price wrote a children's book. The main characters of the book are Katie the Mermaid and Peter the Pirate - as in Peter Andre her husband. And she made him a pirate. Wow. Anyway, Katie keeps churning out novels like Stephen King if he were a stripper. I'm really curious who her publisher is because this guy is either legally retarded or an old pervert that's mental for boobies. (No, it's not me.) I'm talking a love so deep he doesn't care about scarring children for life and therefore deserves the Nobel Prize. No, wait, make that two Nobel Prizes. And a Pulitzer. Yeah, one of those.

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Feb 22 2007Jordan shows off pregnant boobs in bikini

I'm not entirely sure who Jordan is, but sometimes she flashes her boobs and I think people in the UK think she's famous. Anyways, she was spotted on a beach in Dubai recently in a polka dot bikini showing off her baby bump and massively pregnant breasts. I don't even know if you call them breasts anymore when they get that big. Is there another word I should be using? I think the medical definition is 'holy frijoles' and an exclamation mark appearing over the head.

A few more of Jordan in her bikini after the jump.

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