May 14 2009Jessica Simpson almost pitied by Eminem

- Eminem debated whether to make fun of Jessica Simpson's weight which proves he has a vagina. Science has spoken! [ICYDK]

- Kristin Cavallari is replacing Lauren Conrad on The Hills. Wait, I forgot my target demographic isn't 15-year-old girls. Gotta stop doing that. [PopSugar]

- Gwyneth Paltrow posts her playlist on GOOP but mostly wants you to know she's super besties with DJ AM and Samantha Ronson. You bow now, bitches! [Lainey Gossip]

- Katy Perry apparently turns back into a blow-up doll after midnight. I knew it! [Jezebel]

- Jonah Hill spoofs Spencer Pratt who tweets about how big of an erection it gave him. And that, children, is how unicorns are made. [Just Jared]

Oct 1 2008'Don't Vote' celebrity PSA attempts to stretch thinly-veiled sarcasm for five minutes

A ridiculous amount of celebs got together to make this "edgy" video encouraging young people to vote. Here's the YouTube summary:

Leonardo DiCaprio, will i. am, Tobey Maguire, and Forest Whitaker have created public service announcements to encourage American youth to register to vote. The non-partisan PSAs, produced by DiCaprios Appian Way, were created to engage and inspire young people to register and vote and participate in the upcoming election.

And guess what, kids? They use bad words. Holy shit! In fact, Jonah Hill even endorses getting high and playing Halo. Damn, now I'm totally voting! Thanks, sarcastic stars of stage and screen. If it weren't for the emotionless face of Tobey Maguire, I would've sat at home like a fag. U.S.A!