Oct 27 2009Joe Francis/Jayde Nicole bar fight: D.A. not filing charges
Joe Francis, Jayde Nicole and Brody Jenner will not face any charges for the August fight at Guys and Dolls in Hollywood that's since spawned into several million civil suits, according to TMZ:
According to the report, the D.A. supports Joe's claims that the surveillance video shows that Jayde "appears to have acted without immediate provocation."
In conclusion, the D.A. thought "the interests of justice do not support the filing of criminal charges against any of the three suspects."
Or in non-legalese: By keeping these asshats in the wild, there's a greater chance of them drunkenly murdering each other thus enriching the human gene pool. -- SOLD!
Oct 27 2009Joe Francis sues Jayde Nicole for 'threatening to kill him'
Despite the existence of a video that basically shows the exact opposite, Joe Francis is suing Jayde Nicole for not only threatening to kill him but being mere seconds away from using a bottle as a murder weapon. Jayde's lawyer responds to RadarOnline:
"We will be responding with an Anti-SLAPP motion as this lawsuit is retaliation for her exercising her right to file a police report for being a victim of a crime," Richards said. "Joe Francis can try and bully her all he wants but she won't capitulate." Anti-SLAPP lawsuits attempt to protect the rights of persons who engage in protected speech and aim to shield such persons from forces who may try to intimidate them into silence.
Richards says Nicole was exercising her free speech by filing a police report. Nicole claims Francis pulled her hair and knocked her to the ground while Francis claims Nicole threatened to kill him. He has also said that he was fearful for his life, claiming he saw Nicole reach for a bottle which he believed she was going to hit him with.
I'm pretty sure/watched it fucking happen that Jayde simply poured a shot on Joe Francis' shoulder. But I can see how he might construe that as a diabolical attempt to end his life since he's a giant vagina that only fights women. So in that context, I got your back, Joe. You show that mean old girl!
Continue Reading "Joe Francis sues Jayde Nicole for 'threatening to kill him'"
Oct 8 2009Jayde Nicole/Joe Francis video doesn't look good for Francis
RadarOnline has obtained a copy of the surveillance footage from the night Joe Francis allegedly attacked Jayde Nicole, and it looks way worse than he tried to play it off.
If you watch the video, Jayde pours a shot on Joe's shoulder from behind and walks away. She even has time to sit down at the bar before he decides to lunge at her, so it wasn't like she was flipping out him and he needed to defend himself. Of course, Joe admitted to pulling Jayde's hair, but he neglected the tiny detail where he also dragged her by said hair five feet into the crowd then threw her to the ground to get trampled. But then again, I'm sure he believes he was well within his rights according to the Small Cock article of the Tough Guy code.
NOTE: Included a YouTube clip after the jump for a quick reference, but definitely scope out the full Radar version which gives a wider shot of the fracas.
EDIT: YouTube video is down.
Sep 23 2009Joe Francis throwing Lamar Odom's bachelor party
Jesus. The bad ideas just keep coming in with this wedding. Apparently Joe Francis is hosting Lamar Odom's bachelor party Thursday night. TMZ reports:
TMZ has learned Joe Francis is hosting Lamar's swan song to bachelorhood tomorrow at Les Deux nightclub in Hollywood. It will be a formal affair ... with stripper poles and "midgets."
Here's the good news -- Khloe's brother Rob will be there to keep an eye on Lamar ... unless he's distracted by the midgets and stripper poles.
Of course, I'm sure it'll be a classy, fun-filled event complete with such classic bachelor party games as:
"Slap That Bitch"
"Pull That Bitch's Hair"
"Pull That Bitch's Hair while Slapping That Bitch and Frenching a Midget"
"Tax Evasion"
"Underage Titty Hunt."
"Bitch Slap: Now with More Hair Pulling!"
And, finally, a Joe Francis favorite: "Quick, Help Me Hide Inside My Own Vagina, Brody Jenner's Trying to Punch Me Again." You kids have fun.
Sep 17 2009Natalie Portman at TIFF and other news
- Kelly Clarkson continues to go after Kanye West. Though he shouldn't be concerned until she draws him a piping hot bath with sliced carrots in it. [PopEater]
- Paris Hilton might be the reason behind Avril Lavgine's divorce. Because everything she touches turns to dust. Or itches. Either one. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kellan Lutz shirtless and working out. Considering this a little something for all the ladies who suffered through Nipple Morning. Who loves ya? [Just Jared]
- Tom Cruise says sex with him is "like flying." Provided the aircraft is small and lands up a man's ass. [PopSugar]
- Chace Crawford is banging Bar Refaeli. I weep now. [Celebslam]
- Mischa Barton is doing a fantastic job staying sober. And by fantastic I mean Jack Daniels and Quaaludes. [The Blemish]
- Joe Francis gets kicked out of a club at the behest of a Brody Jenner hanger-on?! THE MAN BROUGHT US GIRLS GONE WILD! [Socialite Life]
- Lisa Kudrow : time :: Rihanna : Chris Brown. [ICYDK]
Aug 28 2009Joe Francis didn't punch Jayde Nicole. He just pulled her hair.
So it appears Joe Francis didn't punch Jayde Nicole last night then proceed to kick her while she's down, and security footage at Guys and Dolls confirms his story. TMZ reports:
Joe tells us he was hanging out with the General Manager for Guys and Dolls when Jayde Nicole pushed him from behind and poured a drink on him.
Joe says he turned around and pulled her hair in reaction to the attack. Francis says this is the only contact he made with Jayde or Brody the entire time ... and security footage from inside the club shows exactly this.
Joe says Brody had punched him and ripped his shirt off. He says the club's GM then escorted him outside to the parking lot and he lit up a cigarette.
Joe says the next thing he knew, he was on the ground. He was later told Brody had blindsided him.
That's when Francis says the club's security tasered Brody.
Well, it looks like Brody Jenner and Jayde Nicole are a bunch of liars, and Joe Francis has proven he couldn't possibly have beaten a woman because it turns out he fights just like one and therefore has a vagina. Glad that's cleared up.
Continue Reading "Joe Francis didn't punch Jayde Nicole. He just pulled her hair."
Aug 28 2009Joe Francis beat up Jayde Nicole
Joe Francis just fucked himself. Apparently the Girls Gone Wild founder decided it'd be a smart idea to beat the shit out out of Brody Jenner's girlfriend Jayde Nicole last night at Guys and Dolls in Hollywood. TMZ reports:
According to Jenner, he and his girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, were at the club celebrating his birthday, when Jayde saw Francis hitting on an ex-girlfriend of his (Francis'), Jenner says "unrelentingly." Jayde felt he was harassing the woman -- whom Jayde and Brody know -- and she threw a drink on Francis.
Jenner says Francis then pulled Jayde's hair, punched her in the face and threw her to the ground and began kicking her. Security broke it up and Francis got dragged away -- Brody followed.
Jenner says he started yelling at Francis and both men were ejected from the club.
Outside the club, Jenner says he tried to get back in to see Jayde but security wouldn't let him. Jenner then saw Joe, punched him in the face, and then someone tased him and he fell to the ground.
Francis left the scene. The cops came but no one was arrested. Jayde tells TMZ she will press charges against Francis. Jayde has a black and blue cheek, her face is swollen, she has a bruised left rib and her lower abdomen is sore. Some of her hair also got pulled out.
Brody has since updated his Twitter to let fans (?) know about the incident:
Joe Francis beat up my lady this morning for no reason! Pulled her to the ground, punched & kicked her..what does that say about him?
How can you call yourself a man when you beat up a girl?? Joe Francis is a piece of shit
Joe Francis needs to be in jail!!!
RadarOnline reports the Los Angeles Sheriff County Department is currently looking for Francis which shouldn't be too hard provided they follow the trail of discarded T-shirts and punched-out sorority girls.
UPDATE: So Jayde and Brody might have been full of shit.
Jayde Nicole's Lettuce Bikini Shoot
Mar 6 2009Brody Jenner & Joe Francis: When Assclowns Collide
Brody Jenner and Joe Francis got their respective panties in a bunch Wednesday night while clubbing at MyHouse. The altercation started when Joe ran into Brody's girlfriend and apparently didn't have the courtesy to ask to see her boobs. What a dick. Page Six reports:
"Brody was with his girl friend [Playboy Playmate Jayde Nicole] when Joe came over. He accidentally bumped into Jayde, prompting Brody and his posse to get heated at Joe," said a witness. Another source said, "Joe was escorted out by security. Meanwhile, Doug Reinhardt and Paris Hilton were sitting right there and just kept making out." Francis told Page Six, "There was no physical contact, but if you're Brody Jenner and dating an ugly piece of trash . . . you should expect these types of altercations."
You know what's the most amazing/only remotely interesting part of this story? Paris Hilton was making out in the general vicinity - and nobody died. Somebody needs to get her back to the CIA lab she was birthed in because this little malfunction just completely botched Operation: Natural Selection. I mean, Joe Francis AND Brody Jenner in the same spot. C'mon!
Continue Reading "Brody Jenner & Joe Francis: When Assclowns Collide"
