Mar 16 2009Gwyneth Paltrow to Joaquin Phoenix: 'Live in the projects.'
Gwyneth Paltrow is smart. So smart, in fact, she's not buying Joaquin Phoenix's new career in hip-hop which practically makes her some sort of super-sleuth. Frankly, I'm surprised she hasn't solved the Kennedy assassination yet. MTV UK reports:
"I'm not a hundred percent sure that that's really going to be the case," she told MTV UK during a promotional junket for the film. "I think that there might be some other explanation or something going on. I'm not quite sure what, but I can't believe that he's really going to quit forever to become a rapper. It seems odd.""What advice would I give to Joaquin?" she laughed. "Hmm ... maybe to go live in the projects for a few years to get some authenticity, maybe."
Aww, snap! No, she di'int! You just got burnt by Vanilla Madonna-Bot, son.
Mar 12 2009Joaquin Phoenix makes art until someone gets punched in the face
Joaquin Phoenix continues to shatter our perception of reality by pretending to beat up a fan at his "concert" last night in Miami, according to the AP:
He began rapping to a beat played by the DJ and nodding to the music, although most of the lyrics were unintelligible. Then he responded to someone who appeared to be heckling him in the audience near the stage.
"We have a (double-expletive) in the audience," he said before jumping into the crowd. It was not immediately clear whether the two men exchanged any blows.
"I saw the guy screaming at Joaquin, and Joaquin just came down," said Jorge Lledo, 30, of Miami Beach.
Joaquin yells at the guy "I've got millions of dollars in my fucking bank account, what do you got?" which lets me know right away this is a farce. With a cleverly-masked by a "documentary" heroin addiction like Joaquin's, he's lucky if has five maybe 10 bucks. Or a suitcase full of Pop Tarts.
Feb 12 2009Joaquin Phoenix sits next to David Letterman
Joaquin Phoenix stopped by The Late Show with David Letterman last night and pretty much did his best Andy Kaufman impression. He sat there silently and would mumble an occasional answer to Dave who tried to keep the conversation going. Things turned pissy when he shot down Joaquin's offer to perform his hip-hop music on the show who then started swearing at Paul Shaffer for laughing. I don't want to say this is the most insane thing I've ever seen, but Dave would've been better off interviewing a homeless guy who thinks the government in his shoe. Mostly because I like my crazy non-scripted.
Video after the jump.
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Jan 29 2009Joaquin Phoenix serious about rap career, says rep
Despite reports that Joaquin Phoenix's rap career is an elaborate hoax for a documentary, his rep Susan Patricola sent the following statement to MTV News to set the record straight/basically admit her client is fucking batshit:
"The transition from one career to another is never seamless. It should come as no surprise to anyone that Joaquin came from a musical family, in addition to winning a Golden Globe for his portrayal of Johnny Cash," Patricola wrote in an e-mail. "He intends on exploring his musical interests despite speculative, negative or positive reactions."
Oh, Joaquin Phoenix won a Golden Globe for playing Johnny Cash. So by that logic, if Brad Pitt had won for Benjamin Button, he would've gained the creative license to age backwards. Jesus. Are you sure this was Joaquin's rep who wrote this and not the guy he shoots heroin with inside a teepee?
Jan 28 2009Joaquin Phoenix not crazy or good at keeping secrets
So Joaquin Phoenix might not be one voice inside his head away from crapping on the red carpet at the Oscars. Damn. Turns out his "rap career" could just be an elaborate ruse he cooked up with Casey Affleck, according to Entertainment Weekly:
Either Phoenix is perpetrating an elaborate Andy Kaufman-style hoax (with an assist from his friend and brother-in-law Casey Affleck, who's ostensibly shooting a documentary about his career transition), or he's truly lost his marbles. The truth, it seems, is closer to the former. "He said, 'It's a put-on. I'm going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it,'" says one source who recently worked with Phoenix.
Before everyone says "I told you so," I should probably point out that was an overheard conversation between Joaquin and a banana. They were married later that night and divorced/turned into a smoothie the next morning when Joaquin realized it was the government trying to steal his toothpaste. Love is a cruel mistress.
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Jan 18 2009Joaquin Phoenix has lost his shit
Joaquin Phoenix made his musical debut Friday night at Vegas night club LAVO, and surprise! He's a homeless rapper. The Oscar nominee jumped around the stage while performing/smoking for a perplexed crowd who have vowed never to take Ecstacy again. On the sidelines, brother-in-law Casey Affleck filmed the whole thing for a documentary I can only assume will be titled Joaquin Phoenix, Stay the Fuck Away From My Kids.
NOTE: Video of Joaquin "rapping" after the jump along with a clip of him falling off the stage in case anyone thought this was actually a legitimate performance by someone not on heroin.
Nov 3 2008Joaquin Phoenix's 'retirement' explained: Surprise, it's drugs
Joaquin Phoenix announced last week he's retiring from acting to pursue a career in music. Sometime between that announcement and Saturday's premiere of Che, where Joaquin arrived with the letters "Bye!" and "Good" written on his knuckles (above), the actor showed up to a reading blitzed as hell, according to Page Six:
The two-time Oscar nominee ("Walk the Line" and "Gladiator") showed up to a tribute to Paul Newman last week in San Francisco and "was out of it," said one attendee. Other actors were performing scenes and readings, but Phoenix just got up and walked out. "He wobbled back in a bit later, but it was odd," said our source. "He was slurring his words and was unsteady on his feet."
Joaquin's rep says "He's fine. He just wants to focus on music." Which is Hollywood talk for "He's buck naked riding my kids' Power Wheels down to the 7-11 for smokes because apparently he's Robert Downey Jr. now."
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