Nov 2 2009Famous People in Costumes
Because everyone knows Hollywood is a godless bordello of Sodomites, it's no surprise the stars came out to celebrate Halloween/pay homage to Satan for their careers. So here's a gathering of costumed celebs In no particular order:
Jessica Lowndes as God Willing, the Future Referee of My Pants.
Mariah Carey as A Victoria's Secret Angel with Elephantitis.
Jessica Alba as Dora the Explorer: For Daddies. (WTF?)
Gwen Stefani as Gavin Rossdale's Cowpoke.
Khloe Kardashian as Catwoman with Self-Esteem Issues.
AnnaLynne McCord as Batgirl Who Still Gets Asked "Wait. They remade 90210?"
Bai Ling as... Bai Ling? I don't even know.
Brooke Shields as Flapper Mom with Tom Cruise Punching Action.
Christina Aguilera as the Cheapest Celebrity Mom Ever. (You're rich, lady!)
Heidi Klum as a Woman Who Just Gave Birth Hiding Her Body in Shame Underneath the World's Most Elaborate Bird Costume.
HAIL SATAN!
Scope Out (40) Pics of Costumed Celebs After the Jump
Oct 9 2009Paris Hilton still has really gross knees and other news
- Billy Ray Cyrus wants Miley Cyrus to keep Tweeting. How else is going to buy that there sol-eed gold spittoon he's been fixin' to get? [Lainey Gossip]
- Jon Gosselin and the paparazzi: BFFs. [PopEater]
- Jessica Alba wears retarded shorts. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Heidi Klum has NOT birthed a future German sexpot yet. [Just Jared]
- R. Kelly admits he's illiterate but also the "Greatest Writer of All Time." Why not? [Celebslam]
- Reggie Bush looks so thrilled to be back with Kim Kardashian. So thrilled. [PopSugar]
- David Letterman used to take his mistress/assistant on family vacations. Now those are some balls. [The Blemish]
- Kourtney Kardashian is having a boy which proves the Kardashian sisters have to have a penis in them at all times. Least surprising fact ever. I know. [ICYDK]
Continue Reading "Paris Hilton still has really gross knees and other news"
Sep 30 2009Madonna eats our lowly mortal food and other news
- Dustin Diamond reads an excerpt from his tell-all book involving Mario Lopez's sexual conquests - with women. Nice try, Screech. [PopEater]
- Jessica Biel really did get dumped by Justin Timberlake: A convincing argument. [Lainey Gossip]
- Denise Richards: I'd still hit it. I don't care if she talks about Charlie Sheen's fear of breastfeeding the whole time, I'd do it. That needed to be said. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Katie Holmes should be using this time for something more useful than taking Suri shopping. Like, oh I dunno, fleeing the goddamn country and adopting a new alias. Kids love that shit. [PopSugar]
- Jon Hamm in Muppet form. [Just Jared]
- Jessica Alba finds acting work in the third Fockers movie. -- Why did that sentence feel like an oxymoron? [The Blemish]
- Kate Gosselin on slowing down the divorce: "Fuuuuuuuuuuck that." Okay, maybe not her exact words, but it's what she was thinking while stuffing her children in brown sacks with dollar signs on them. [Socialite Life]
Continue Reading "Madonna eats our lowly mortal food and other news"
Sep 28 2009Jessica Alba is a redhead now
Because apparently nothing happened this weekend besides Khloe Kardashian's wedding - so still basically nothing - here's Jessica Alba sporting her new red hairdo yesterday in LA. I was going to assume this was for a role, but when's the last time Jessica Alba's been in anything? That people watched, I mean. Sorry, I should've prefaced that.
Scope Out (20) Pics Of Jessica After the Jump
Aug 13 2009Elle Macpherson's still got it and other news
- Victoria Beckham goes overkill on the bronzer for her first day on American Idol. Even George Hamilton went "Are you kidding me?" then instructed his wife to tan him with a flamethrower. True story. [Lainey Gossip]
- Brad Pitt is not running for mayor of New Orleans. He is, however, running for sheriff of Please Let's Stop Acquiring Kids Before I Shoot Myself in the Face Town. [PopEater]
- Bryce Dallas Howard arrives on the set of Eclipse. She'll be carrying Robert Pattinson's baby and having a gunfight with Kristen Stewart in 5... 4... 3... [OK! Magazine]
- Haylie Duff still exists? Honestly, I thought she was a prop Hilary's publicist came up with. Weird. [Celebslam]
- Jerry O'Connell is going to law school. That'll make Rebecca realize he's a big boy now. Right after she cuts his sandwich in triangles. [Just Jared]
- Jessica Alba finds acting work that doesn't involve a bikini. Has the world gone mad?! [PopSugar]
- Heidi Montag pretends she has sex with Spencer Pratt. But he's not Jesus... [I'm Not Obsessed]
Continue Reading "Elle Macpherson's still got it and other news"
Aug 2 2009Jessica Alba in a bikini
What the shit?! When did Jessica Alba get hot again? Here she is in Malibu yesterday, and these pictures confirm what many of us forgot about Jessica Alba but should've been focused on all along. And that's the fact Cash Warren must die by my hand. Unless, of course, you guys can come up with a better way for me to share a conjugal visit with Jessica. I'm all ears.
Scope Out (20) Pics of Jessica After the Jump
Jul 14 2009Channing Tatum in GQ and other news
- Tony Romo ditched Jessica Simpson because John Mayer was still texting her. Unless John Mayer was slicing off Tony's hands before they touched Jessica breasts, he might have overreacted a bit. [Lainey Gossip]
- Megan Fox is pursuing Rain while using Brian Austin Green's penis as a safety net which, let's be honest, is probably the best his life will ever get. I'd start setting up hidden cameras, Brian. You'll thank me later. [The Blemish]
- Jeremy Piven is still trying to bang Hayden Panettiere. Has he tried trapping her under a thimble? I hear that's effective. [Celebslam]
- Jessica Alba apparently still gets followed by the paparazzi. Your guess is as good as mine. [PopSugar]
- Robert Pattinson in a suit. Now, remember, ladies, don't bring your laptop in the tub. Unless I'm there to supervise. [Just Jared]
- Daniel Radcliffe thinks it's cool that people think he's gay. Especially women. But mostly so they'll change in front of him allowing him to drop the classic line "Shazam! Harry Potter loves boobies now!" Oh, man, talk about good times. Until the cops show up. [ICYDK]
Jun 10 2009Kanye West can break up with people, too
- Kanye West and Amber Rose are no longer a couple. Gotta admit I like this current fad better than all that Twittering shit. Can all we finally admit, as a society, that that was super gay? [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Hugh Grant kicks a paparazzo in the nuts for helping him find a taxi. Is he still that mad over the hooker blowjob thing? Oh, right, it cost him Elizabeth Hurley. -- He should start shooting them. [Lainey Gossip]
- Jessica Alba is sorry for the whole weird shark thing that makes absolutely no sense. Until you realize her father is Jabberjaw. I KNEW IT! [The Blemish]
- Katie Holmes will perform on So You Think You Can Dance. Remember when she had a career? No, wait, don't. Tom Cruise will hear you. [Just Jared]
- Victoria Beckham's nipple. If I have to type more, I've seriously misread my audience. [Celebslam]
- Shia LaBeouf has seen some fucked up parents which explains why he doesn't try to have sex with Megan Fox 24/7. Ha, I thought it was a brain tumor. [PopSugar]
