Aug 27 2009Kim Kardashian is a water goddess and other news
- Chris Brown will appear on Larry King Live - with his mommy and lawyer beside him. Seriously, how big of a pussy is this kid that he's afraid of questions from an octogenarian? Give it to me straight. [Lainey Gossip]
- Jeremy Piven has been vindicated for his departure from the David Mamet play Speed the Plow after an arbiter ruled he did not breach his contract. After the proceedings, the arbiter was generously tipped with Entourage Season 2 on DVD and is now suing to reverse his decision. [PopEater]
- Kristen Stewart is getting naked in an upcoming independent film. Now you ladies can see what your dear Edward's been hitting while your boyfriend masturbates under a blanket. It's the perfect date movie! [Celebslam]
- Natalie Portman enjoys rap songs about penises. Seriously. [PopSugar]
- Kate Gosselin makes Target employees escort her to car as if their lives aren't shitty enough. Nice one. [Just Jared]
- Anne Heche hates her ex-husband. Maybe you've heard. [The Blemish]
- Shania Twain proves she's learned her lesson about men - by getting married again. Smart! [ICYDK]
- George Clooney broke his hand after accidentally slamming it in a car door. And by car door I mean 20 naked cocktail waitresses. [Wonderwall]
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Aug 10 2009Jeremy Piven is a sensitive flower
Jeremy Piven is apparently still testy about the sushi incident that allegedly forced him to quit the Broadway run of "Speed the Plow." Before his Thursday appearance on It's On with Alexa Chung, the actor got into a shouting match backstage with Chris Kattan, according to NY Daily News:
Kattan - who's been in town talking up his IFC miniseries "Bollywood Hero" - greeted Piven with a snarky, "So, what are you here to promote, your Broadway play?"
The actor sniped back irritably, "Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?" - a reference to Kattan's swishy "Saturday Night Live" stripper character.
The actors continued to bark for a few minutes, but while Kattan thought the argument was in jest, Piven did not.
Says an insider, "After some back and forth, Jeremy said something really personal to Chris that basically attacked his career. He said 'Whoa, man - I thought we were just fooling around here.'"
Not the right thing to say to the man who plays Ari Gold, apparently. "I'm getting sued for that s--t!" the actor shouted. "It's not funny!"
Our source adds, "Jeremy slammed the green room door right in Chris' face, and about 20 people in the hallway outside could hear him yelling obscenities. He was furious.
"Chris felt really badly about the whole thing, so about 15 minutes later he tried to approach Jeremy again to apologize, to tell him he was just kidding and that he didn't mean to offend in any way. But Jeremy wasn't having it at all. He slammed the door in Chris' face AGAIN."
Mostly because this season's episode where Grandpa Ari gave Turtle a heart-to-heart talk made me want to stick my head in Paris Hilton's vagina and die an acidy death, I'm going to recommend Jeremy Piven try some Midol the next time he's crampy and forego my initial reaction of "What the fuck's a Chris Kattan?"
Jul 14 2009Channing Tatum in GQ and other news
- Tony Romo ditched Jessica Simpson because John Mayer was still texting her. Unless John Mayer was slicing off Tony's hands before they touched Jessica breasts, he might have overreacted a bit. [Lainey Gossip]
- Megan Fox is pursuing Rain while using Brian Austin Green's penis as a safety net which, let's be honest, is probably the best his life will ever get. I'd start setting up hidden cameras, Brian. You'll thank me later. [The Blemish]
- Jeremy Piven is still trying to bang Hayden Panettiere. Has he tried trapping her under a thimble? I hear that's effective. [Celebslam]
- Jessica Alba apparently still gets followed by the paparazzi. Your guess is as good as mine. [PopSugar]
- Robert Pattinson in a suit. Now, remember, ladies, don't bring your laptop in the tub. Unless I'm there to supervise. [Just Jared]
- Daniel Radcliffe thinks it's cool that people think he's gay. Especially women. But mostly so they'll change in front of him allowing him to drop the classic line "Shazam! Harry Potter loves boobies now!" Oh, man, talk about good times. Until the cops show up. [ICYDK]
Jan 17 2009Jeremy Piven's next role? Guy getting sued
Jeremy Piven is getting his ass sued by the producers of "Speed-the-Plow," according to the AP:
They have filed a grievance with Actors' Equity Association, the stage actors' union, against Jeremy Piven for abruptly leaving the Broadway revival last month.
Piven quit the David Mamet comedy less than two months after it opened to favorable reviews at the Ethel Barrymore Theatre. The actor's doctor said Piven was unable perform because of high levels of mercury in his system, possibly caused by eating large amounts of raw fish.
I guess they didn't believe his performance for Diane Sawyer. Or they're just doing it for the halibut. Ha cha cha cha! I'm drowning myself in the tub now.
Jan 15 2009Jeremy Piven really wants you to believe him
Jeremy Piven stopped by Good Morning America to plead his case to Diane Sawyer today. Ari Gold claims to have had six times the levels of mercury found in a normal person which forced him to drop out of David Mamet's Broadway play "Speed-the-Plow" causing producers and Mamet himself to question the legitimacy of Jeremy's illness. Plus it didn't help he was seen partying his ass off after every show. People reports:
"The only protein I got for 20 years was from fish," says Piven, who adds that he ate sushi at least twice a day. "I kind of thought I was doing the right thing ... As soon as I heard this, I stopped all fish whatsoever."
Piven has admitted to being embarrassed by the situation, especially given the skeptical response he got from fans, late-night hosts and colleagues alike. Speed-the-Plow playwright David Mamet joked that Piven was leaving show business to "pursue a career as a thermometer."
But Piven, who hasn't eaten fish in five months, says he has no hard feelings: "[Mamet] is a brilliant playwright and that's a funny line."
While I don't know if I believe Jeremy Piven's "fishy" (You can't teach that.) excuse, I do believe he's a fucking lock for the lead role in Newsies 2: Reprint Like Whoa. Or an assclown of a dresser. It's a toss-up.
Video after the jump.
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Dec 19 2008Madonna wants to adopt again
- Madonna wants to adopt another child despite her divorce from Guy Ritchie. With a full schedule of touring on her plate, sources say she's going the old-fashioned route: Bear traps and lollipops. [Star]
- Jeremy Piven tried to say he had mono before switching to his sushi-induced mercury poisoning excuse for bailing on a Broadway play. Personally, I think he should've gone with cat AIDS, but hey, we can't all be professionals. [TMZ]
- David Copperfield broke an assistant's arm during a magic trick last night. "Many people assume that the death-defying illusions I do onstage are not dangerous," he said before adding "Which is why I let the interns do all the crazy shit. Otherwise, no supper. SHAZAM!" [E! Online]
- The Duggar Family, stars of TLC's 17 Kids and Counting and followers of the insane Quiverfull movement, welcomed an 18th child last night and are already talking about a 19th. Somewhere, Angelina Jolie is giving her uterus the pep talk of its life. It's on, fuckers! [People]
Dec 18 2008Jeremy Piven bails on play, not enough people saying 'Dawg'
Jeremy Piven has ditched his role in the David Mamet Broadway play "Speed-the-Plow" claiming he's been stricken ill by mercury from eating too much sushi. I have no frickin' clue, but I'm sure David Mamet will regale with us with a zinger fueled by having 300 ticketgoers demand refunds yesterday alone. The New York Post reports:
Piven missed Tuesday night's performance - as well as yesterday's matinee and evening performances - of "Speed-the-Plow," much to the anger of ticket holders.
Piven, who flew to Los Angeles last night, is under con tract to perform throughout the show's run, which began in October and is slated to end Feb. 22.
Over the past few weeks, the star had complained of "exhaustion" and "being tired," sources told The Post.
The popular play's investors aren't buying it - and are discussing calling in their own doctor in to get a "second opinion," the sources said.
Daily Variety reported that Piven said he was suffering from a "high level of mercury," leading Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright David Mamet, who wrote the showbiz satire, to remark tartly, "My understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer."
But what hasn't Jeremy Piven been too tired for? Drinkin':
Sources said that Piven hasn't been too sick to party after performances - hanging out at bars into the wee hours, despite his grueling schedule of eight performances a week.
Witnesses have told The Post that Piven is a regular at the Lower East Side bar The Eldridge.
"He lives his life very much like the way his character on 'Entourage' does," said one source.
He lives his life just like Entourage, huh? Phew. For a minute there, I thought this story wasn't going to have an HBO original series angle to it, but it looks like I can put away the Xanax. But, wait, what would Jesus do? - - Hey, Geekologist, wanna buy some pills?
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