Jul 6 2009Jenna Jameson in a bikini
Here's a post-pregnancy Jenna Jameson relaxing over the weekend with Tito Ortiz, and I can't tell if these pics are hot or the most depressing thing I've seen in days. I mean, on the one hand it's Jenna Jameson in a bikini. On the other hand is... surprisingly not my penis. Huh. Figured there'd be more of a reflex action, and I'm pretty sure if Jenna read this she'd burst into tears. Don't blame yourself! (Completely.)
Scope Out (12) Pics of Jenna After the Jump
Jun 23 2009Britney Spears: Stateside and braless
- Robert Pattinson continues to film that movie that's not about vampires. Until after the first test screening that is. [Lainey Gossip]
- Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are the proud parents of twins. From another woman's vagina. Awww yeah! [Pink is the New Blog]
- Kevin Federline owes the IRS a shit-ton of back taxes. And by Kevin I mean Britney because let's be honest about who's going to cover it. [Celebslam]
- Dakota Fanning obviously wasn't having a light day. [The Blemish]
- Jenna Jameson doesn't like being called "wide." Human cock holster? Yes. Wide? Hell no. [ICYDK]
- Jon and Kate divorce episode set record ratings for the show. What can they exploit next? Got it! Sell Joel on the black market. That shit practically writes itself. [Just Jared]
- Lindsay Lohan was invited to the Transformers premiere last night. So, are they trying to jinx the movie? Some sort of tax write-off? I'm confused. [PopSugar]
Mar 17 2009Jenna Jameson pulls two guys out of her
Jenna Jameson gave birth to twin boys Monday morning, according to Us Magazine:
"They're in very good health," her rep tells Us.
"She's been taking it easy and even had to be in a wheelchair during one of Tito's events in Las Vegas," a source told Us when Jameson was just shy of eight months pregnant. "She's very excited to be a mom."
Early reports say both babies were able to walk right out of the birth canal standing straight up. Doctors proclaimed it a miracle until Peter North backed his Mercedes out and drove to Starbucks. So that's where he's been....
Jan 26 2009Jenna Jameson is definitely pregnant
Here's Jenna Jameson at the World Alliance of Mixed Martial Arts Championship this weekend demonstrating the worst possible ending to one of her movies. Then again, who's actually seen the end of a porno? Just sayin'.
NOTE: Yes, I'm aware the third pic is clearly fetus abuse and have notified child services. They said "Are you shitting me?" and promised to mobilize the Britney Task Force. Good people.
Sep 23 2008Jenna Jameson expecting twins
Jenna Jameson is definitely doing her best Angelina Jolie impersonation, according to sources for Perez Hilton:
"They're having twins," a friend of the superstar tells us. "Jenna and Tito just found out. They are beyond thrilled!"
This, of course, answers "Nope" to the age old question: Can Jenna Jameson do anything without getting double teamed?
Sep 17 2008Aubrey O'Day is the most talented member of Danity Kane
Aubrey O'Day of Danity Kane and MTV's Making the Band is featured in the latest issue of Complex where she covered a wide array of topics including sex during your period and masturbating to Jenna Jameson. I guess Aubrey has the same publicist as Megan Fox. Who knew?:
On getting hit on in the clubs:
Aubrey O’Day: I think urban guys look at me and are like, “Here’s the white girl I’m gonna fuck.” Like, I met a famous basketball player the other night. Who? What team? Aubrey O’Day: I can’t, he’s too big. And, like, married.
On her image as the "bad girl":
Aubrey O’Day: If I have to be ridiculed and called a whore and the party animal and the dumb girl for the rest of my career, I’m OK with that. Because I love who I am. You’re going to have to interpret me however you’re going to interpret me.
On talking about sex during your period with Jenna Jameson:
Aubrey O’Day: Jenna and I never even talk about porn. I think one time Jenna and I had a conversation about having sex on your period. Oh, running a red light? Aubrey O’Day: Yeah. There was some new guy I was dating, and it was the first time we were going to go there, and he was weird about it. So I ask Jenna for advice and she’s like, “Honey, it’s just a little war paint, who cares?”
On watching porn starring Jenna:
Aubrey O’Day: I watched her before she was my BFF, I don’t watch her anymore. I was actually masturbating one night to, like, Anal Sex Compilation #3 or whatever, and she was in it and I was like, “Oh no!” I had to turn it off. It was horrible.
Oh my, what scandalous stuff. But, seriously, where the hell are her nipples? In some of these shots it's anatomically impossible for them not to be present unless she lived underneath power lines. I even "Peeled Off Aubrey's Tape" and what I found was an affront to God and nature. It's like going to a strip club and just when you're about to see a nip, you die of cancer. Too far?
Thanks to Joe who claims to have a treasure map leading to Aubrey's nipples. I'll fire up the jet.
Continue Reading "Aubrey O'Day is the most talented member of Danity Kane"
Aug 11 2008Jenna Jameson says something about cats and dogs having too much sex (?)
Jenna Jameson posed nude for a new PETA ad encouraging pet owners to get their animals fixed. Apparently, when we're not around, our furry friends are sex-craved maniacs who constantly get their Discovery Channel on. This explains why my cat bought a jacuzzi... Anyway, here's some advice from a porn star:
"Until dogs and cats can go on the pill or wear condoms, we need to help them practice safe sex—by spaying and neutering," says Jenna. "Millions of homeless animals are turned in to shelters every year because there simply aren’t enough good homes for them all. The answer is as easy as ABC: Animal Birth Control, which means get your Fido or Fluffy fixed!"
I don't think PETA thought Jenna's ad through. Not only am I too tired from masturbating researching animal stuff to take my cat to the vet, but I'm pretty sure he's not getting fed either. And, on that note, nap time.
NOTE: Included Olympic simmer Amanda Beard's nude PETA ad because what can I say? I love animals. They make awesome friends or the perfect snack. Go for the gold, Amanda. U.S.A.!
Continue Reading "Jenna Jameson says something about cats and dogs having too much sex (?)"
Aug 6 2008Jenna Jameson reportedly pregnant
Jenna Jameson is carrying a smaller version of Tito Ortiz in her uterus which brings her one baby closer to achieving her lifelong dream of becoming Angelina Jolie. Only five more to go along with a shitload of plastic surgery. You can do it! Page Six reports:
"She had a bunch of meetings and things planned for Fashion Week, including meetings for her own line, but she's postponed everything," said our source. "She's completely thrilled, this is something she's wanted for a very long time."
My sources tell me the baby is really enjoying itself. Lots of room and someone crammed an entire entertainment center up there, so no complaints: "Though would it hurt to get some popcorn up in this joint? Wait, never mind. I just found Orville Redenbacher in the laundry room. Pop a squat, bro, but don't get your feet on the couch."
