May 26 2009Mel Gibson to Leno: 'Call me Octo-Mel.'

Mel Gibson stopped by The Tonight Show last night and confirmed his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva is pregnant with his eighth child. He also took full responsibility for the failure of his marriage to wife Robyn, but set the record straight that they've been separated for years. Which is exactly what I'd say, too, if my mistress ended up pregnant on the heels of divorce papers being filed.

Ha, just kidding. I'd say Chris Brown did it then fly off with a jetpack. Ladies?

Dec 9 2008Fran Drescher for Senate (And other insanity)

The day's events:

- Fran Drescher campaigning for Hillary Clinton's open senate seat. In related news, Fran Drescher is alive! [People]

- Jay Leno signs on for a Tonight Show-esque program on NBC at 10 PM. Meanwhile, Conan O'Brien does a Fuck You-esque motion towards network execs. [New York Times]

- Mariah Carey reportedly seen holding a sonogram outside doctor's office and celebrating. Nobody thought she could steal it, but Ha! What now, bitches? [Page Six]

- Paula Abdul claims stalker wanted to kill her. Whoa, wait, stalkers don't want to kill. They just want to watch your soul escape through the knife wound in your abdomen. God, read a book. [TMZ]

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