Jul 21 2009Britney Spears' conservatorship to end in November

Jamie Spears is ready to let Britney Spears make her own decisions in November which is conveniently when her gravy train tour ends. TMZ reports:

Sources tell us Jamie Spears will ask the court to review the terms of the conservatorship after her concert tour ends in November. Jamie can't ask the judge to end it -- just to review it. The judge then decides if Britney should regain control of her life.
We're told Jamie thinks Britney is ready to roll on her own. He has made her life his full time job since February, 2008.
Fact is ... if it weren't for the tour, given Britney's progress, the judge might already have made the decision to undo the conservatorship. The various vendors were promised under their contracts that the conservatorship would stay in tact throughout the tour.

Really? November? The same month as, oh I dunno, Thanksgiving. Jesus. I can almost read the headlines now:

Britney Spears Attacks Macy's Turkey Float with Gravy Gun
Britney Spears Sues Barack Obama for Pardoning Turkey
Britney Spears & Kevin Federline Die in Freak Eating Contest. Nation's Pie Supply Dangerously Low.

Then again, nothing like job security during a recession. FREE BRITNEY!

Jun 8 2009Britney Spears' dad won't even let her see booze

Seen here in London over the weekend, Britney Spears' dad Jamie runs things backstage with an iron fist and has prohibited anyone from drinking within eyesight of Britney. The Sun reports:

Britney's family have issued the blanket ban on any areas that the star might pass through on her way from dressing room to stage - and staff have been asked to sign contracts promising that no booze will be available.
A source at the venue says: "Following her problems with alcohol, Britney had requested that everywhere backstage is alcohol free. Her family is monitoring the situation very carefully and we've been made to sign contracts promising not to drink or allow any of the VIP guests to have alcohol in any of the backstage areas that Britney could use. It is very important to Britney that she doesn't see anybody drinking in her presence."

Before I begin, let me crack open a cold, refreshing beer that makes all my problems go away. *sips* Ahh! Delicious. Now where was I? Right, Britney's drinking. Her dad is definitely making the right move. After seeing her breasts flopping around in 2007, it's best for everyone if Britney is kept away from the sauce. I mean, all drinking really does is give you an incredible feeling of self-worth and guarantees no one will take your kids. Plus it tastes like chicken.

NOTE: You should've paid the ransom, England. Muahaha!

Continue Reading "Britney Spears' dad won't even let her see booze"

May 15 2009Jamie Spears: 'I had legal right to punch Sam Lutfi out'

Sam Lutfi is currently suing Jamie Spears and claiming Britney's dad assaulted him. Except Jamie's not taking this lying down and basically told the court he had the legal right to kick the shit out of Sam, according to TMZ:

In legal papers filed today, Jamie is very careful to not admit he punched Lutfi in the chest at Brit's house last year -- as Lutfi suggested in a recent lawsuit. However, Jamie says the law allows him to open a can of whoop ass if the situation calls for it -- and according to the docs, the Lutfi situation called for it.
Jamie claims "he was provoked" by Lutfi and was "privileged to use force in and about the matter complained."
He adds, "Any necessary force may be used to protect from wrongful injury the person or property of oneself, or a wife, husband, child, parent or other relative or member of one's family."

I can't even believe this is an ongoing court battle. I pretty much assumed Jamie's lawyers would simply point at Sam Lutfi and say "Hey, remember when we kept seeing Britney Spears' vagina? It was that guy's fault." BAM! Case closed. Who wants sandwiches?

Continue Reading "Jamie Spears: 'I had legal right to punch Sam Lutfi out'"

Apr 2 2009Sam Lutfi's sister: 'Britney tried to end conservatorship'

Seen here in two new shots from her Candies ad (Because why go back to looking at the non-CGI version?), Britney Spears allegedly concocted the plan to have Sam Lutfi hire a lawyer to battle her conservatorship. At least that's what Sam's sister Christina claimed during her surprise testimony in his restraining order hearing yesterday. People reports:

"[Britney] told me she wanted to get a hold of Sam," said Christina, 25, whose brother had once been Spears's manager. "She wanted him to help her find a lawyer, and wanted someone to get a prepaid cell phone to her. She was scared because her father was blackmailing her with visitation rights over her kids."
Spears allegedly told Christina to meet her on the fifth floor gym of the Peninsula Hotel on Jan. 16. When Christina arrived, Spears was working out with her mother while a bodyguard stood nearby. But they rendezvoused in a sauna where Christina gave her a phone, saying it was from Sam and ex-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib, which Spears then hid in a locker. "She asked me, 'Will Sam be able to help me?'" Christina added.
The phone, however, was later discovered by Spears's security team and confiscated from her purse.

Okay, there are two giant red flags here that let me know this is bullshit:
1. Christina came out of the same uterus as Sam Lutfi. 2. She not only claims Britney Spears is capable of being the mastermind behind all this, but also came up with a plan that didn't involve onion rings. -- I rest my case.

Continue Reading "Sam Lutfi's sister: 'Britney tried to end conservatorship'"

Feb 24 2009Britney Spears is so grounded

Britney Spears' father Jamie Spears is currently fighting to get a permanent restraining order against Sam Lutfi. Jamie appeared in court yesterday to testify that Sam has been contacting Britney in an attempt to disrupt the conservatorship. Except all this might be because Britney Spears got caught with a prepaid phone. People reports:

Under her father's care and control, Britney Spears now lives a protected life, her access even to telephones strictly restricted.
So when the 27-year-old pop star managed to get a prepaid cell phone recently, her security team confiscated it from her purse while she was at a dance practice. Confronted, she revealed the phone was given to her by someone during a hotel stay.
And that person, she disclosed, got it from two men whom her father wants to keep permanently in the singer's troubled past: ex-manager Sam Lutfi and former boyfriend, paparazzo Adnan Ghalib.

For the record, Sam Lutfi and his douchebeard should be allowed nowhere near Britney Spears. Yeah, the Predator look was hot, but it's kind of a turn off when the SWAT team shows up to take her kids. That said, I think Britney has found the ultimate scapegoat while under her dad's supervision.

JAMIE: Britney, who used my laptop as a cheese grater?
BRITNEY: Sam Lutfi.
JAMIE: Britney, who drove the BMW into the pool?
BRITNEY: Sam Lutfi.
JAMIE: Britney... who won the VMAs?
BRITNEY: Sam Lutfi. I mean, wait-
JAMIE: Ah HA! Gotcha.
BRITNEY: Uh, Sam Lutfi made me do it?
JAMIE: .... That bastard.

Feb 3 2009Sam Lutfi sues Britney Spears and her parents

In an unbelievably retarded legal move, Sam Lutfi has filed a lawsuit against Britney, Jamie and Lynne Spears claiming "libel, defamation, battery, intentional infliction of emotional distress and breach of contract." TMZ reports:

According to the papers, Sam claims Jamie and Lynn "launched a campaign of lies and intimidation designed to destroy Lutfi and drive him out of Britney's life."
In the lawsuit, Sam claims he was standing in Britney's kitchen on January 29, 2008 when Jamie stormed into the house. Lutfi alleges Jamie yelled at him, claiming Sam made a rude comment to Lynne the night before. Then, Sam claims, Jamie "intentionally punched him in the chest" and threatened to kill him if he ever heard Sam make a rude comment about Lynne or any member of the Spears family again.
All the claims of libel and defamation spring from Lynne's book, "Through the Storm." Lutfi says since the publication of the book, he "has been subjected to unfathomable amounts of ridicule and public scorn."

As for the breach of contract, Sam claims he had a verbal contract with Britney for 15% commission and wants his unpaid management fees. Considering she's been declared mentally handicapped by the state, that's the legal equivalent of me saying I have a verbal contract with Grimace for all the free cheeseburgers I can eat. Well played, Matlock.

Continue Reading "Sam Lutfi sues Britney Spears and her parents"

Feb 2 2009Britney Spears will cancel tour if she can't bring sons

Britney Spears' pending US tour in March may hit the shitter thanks to Kevin Federline's lawyers. Britney, Kevin and Jamie Spears hashed out a deal where Britney would have three bases in New Jersey, New Orleans and Los Angeles where her boys would stay while she commuted to her shows. Kevin was even going to be paid for the deal until his lawyers stepped in and objected to the whole arrangement. Now Britney is going to scrap the whole tour if her sons can't come with her. TMZ reports:

And here's a fun fact. We've learned Britney will pay Kevin in excess of $4,000 a week for each week she's on tour. The way the deal goes... Brit would get K-Fed his own pad in each of the three bases and he wouldn't even have to show up to get the money! Why, you ask, would she pay him? You figure it out....
So here's the rub: Britney, K-Fed and Jamie worked out the arrangement without the help of any of the lawyers. We're told a week ago K-Fed's lawyers became aware of the plan and were furious, thinking Jamie went behind their backs. Sources tell us K-Fed's lawyers have said they object to the plan but won't specifically say why. And Kevin apparently doesn't have the cojones to stand up to his lawyers.

Oh, that's nice. Britney pulls her life together and will actually pay cash money to be close to her children (Including Sean!), but Kevin's lawyers didn't get a taste so the whole deal is fucked. I guarantee you Jamie Spears is about ten seconds away from rappelling into those attorney's offices and uppercutting some assholes. Provided he got drunk this morning while watching The Dark Knight. Or am I the only one who did that? Batman wants McMuffins! WOO!

Jan 31 2009Britney Spears' dad slaps Adnan Ghalib, Sam Lutfi with restraining orders

Jamie Spears has obtained a temporary restraining order against Sam Lutfi, Adnan Ghalib and John Eardley, an attorney who, a year ago, attempted to challenge Britney Spears' conservatorship without having any legal grounds to do so. The three have been conspiring together to make a new run at the conservatorship, so Sam and Adnan can get their collective douchebeards on her money and toned sober ass. TMZ reports:

Sam allegedly was calling lawyers saying that Britney wanted to hire her own lawyer, presumably to fight the conservatorship. Sources tell TMZ that is definitely not what Britney wanted.
Under the TRO, Lutfi, Ghalib and Eardley must stay 250 yards away from Britney, her parents and her kids. The TRO also prohibits the trio from "acting on Ms. Spears' behalf...inducing or assisting another person to file legal pleadings" on her behalf.
Interesting fun fact: In the petition for the TRO, it says Brit has been communicating with Adnan and that "Ms. Spears innocently informs Mr. Ghalib of her destinations and that he then arranges for paparazzi to meet and film her to his financial benefit."

If there's anyone out there who thinks Britney should be left to her own devices, just scope out the pics I've included which are surprisingly not from Predator 3: Give Me Chalupas or Give Me Death. I'm not saying she was completely crazy back then, but I've seen crackheads at the bus station I'd leave a child alone with first.

Continue Reading "Britney Spears' dad slaps Adnan Ghalib, Sam Lutfi with restraining orders"