Aug 31 2009Britney & Jamie Lynn Spears in bikinis
Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears were spotted poolside today in Miami which is surprising because I was pretty much convinced they shipped Jamie Lynn deep into the bayou to hide their family's shame. Then again, they've been letting Britney parade out in public lately, so what's one teenage pregnancy amidst a potential SWAT team showdown over McNugget sauce? Live and let live, I guess.
Scope Out (20) Pics of Britney & Jamie Lynn After the Jump
May 4 2009Jamie Lynn's boyfriend going to jail?
Jamie Lynn Spears' baby's daddy, Casey Aldridge, might be looking at jail time for his pickup truck accident which resulted in three people - including himself - being ejected from the vehicle. Surprisingly, they all survived with minor injuries. People reports:
Alridge, 19, better known as Jamie Lynn Spears's boyfriend and the father of their baby daughter, 10-month-old Maddie, was charged with careless operation of a motor vehicle, a violation of Louisiana Revised Statue 32:58 after he drove off a road into a ditch and flipped his F-250 pickup truck on April 26.
According to Louisiana criminal attorney Lester Gauthier, who is not involved with the case, Aldridge will face a fine of no more than $175 and/or imprisonment for not more than 30 days.
Of course, Casey's sentence will be commuted if he had at least two huntin' rifles in the vehicle and a "loved up" pig. Southern Law: It just done makes sense.
Apr 26 2009Jamie Lynn Spears' boyfriend in car accident
Casey Aldridge, the father of Jamie Lynn Spears' daughter Maddie, flipped his truck early this morning in Louisiana. He's currently at the University of Mississippi Medical Center and in stable condition, according to TMZ:
We've learned Casey Aldridge was charged with careless operation of a motor vehicle (a misdemeanor) after last night's crash -- and no other car was involved.
Cops tell TMZ Casey was driving on the LA 606, which is in the Tensas Parish in Louisiana, when he lost control of his F-150 at around 1:30 AM. Law enforcement sources say Casey was initially taken to the Riverland Medical Facility in Ferriday, LA -- which is right across the border from Mississippi.
People is reporting there were "several passengers inside when it went off the shoulder of the road and flipped over." Without all the facts in, I don't want to assume alcohol was the cause of the accident because that would rule out fellatio from a blood relative. But, look, accurate conjecture aside, the important thing is Casey isn't driving a baby around. .... Oh, right.
Jan 2 2009Britney Spears' brother marries Jamie Lynn's manager
Britney Spears' brother Bryan married Jamie Lynn Spears' manager on New Year's Eve in an event that family members described as "Not quite incest. But close enough." People reports:
"It was beautiful," a source tells PEOPLE about the elder Spears's wedding to Graciella Sanchez, 36, longtime manager of little sister Jamie Lynn. "It was only close family, very small and intimate."
While the couple's engagement may have caught many by surprise – they only recently started dating seriously – the two have been acquaintances for years.
"The family was totally excited," a friend of the family tells PEOPLE. "Graciella's wonderful. Everybody was happy about it."
Wait. Jamie Lynn Spears has a manager? Then where the hell was this Graciella woman when Casey Aldridge was putting his virile redneck seed in her client's underage hoo-ha? Obviously, she had her hands full banging her way into the Spears' family fortune which, now that I think about it, was kind of a smart move. Those MBAs really do pay for themselves.
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Dec 4 2008Jamie Lynn Spears ready to sue over liposuction rumors
Jamie Lynn Spears is ready to sue some asses over reports that she had liposuction performed while pregnant, according to TMZ:
We're told the story is "100% NOT true" -- that Jamie Lynn has never had lipo and would "never in her life" do anything like it.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess the story in question is this little item from Star. I should solve crimes:
Jamie Lynn had just finished her hit Nickelodeon show Zoey 101 when she found the weight piling on. Not realizing she was expecting, she pleaded with her mom, Lynne Spears, to let her get liposuction, says a source.
"She didn't know she was pregnant when she filled out the health questionnaire prior to the procedure," a second source reveals. "Her mom approved the injections and went through tons of red tape to get the clinic to administer them to an underage patient."
Look, I'm sure the Spears family isn't that stupid to confuse pregnancy with getting fat. - - On second thought, this totally happened, but with one exception: They used a Wet Vac in the garage. FOOSH! "Mama, I's skinny 'gain! Huh. Why's this here vacuum got a bay-bee in it alls a sudden? That ain't right..."
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Nov 11 2008Britney Spears is a great mom
Let's say your toddler just got out of the hospital yesterday after suffering an intense allergic reaction that caused him to have a seizure. You're probably going to be extra careful with the little tyke and let him recuperate - or you could be like Britney Spears and surround him with alligators. Which is exactly what she did today with two-year-old Jayden James. Although, in Britney's defense, the reptile farm was her second choice after finding out the shooting range doesn't serve juice boxes.
Nov 9 2008Jamie Lynn Spears looks pregnanty
While sister Britney is in town, Jamie Lynn Spears gets shafted with doing all the grocery shopping. And is it me, or is she looking increasingly pregnant? To be honest; I didn't completely believe the rumors, but mostly because who could be that stupid to get knocked up right after becoming a highly-publicized teenage mom? Obviously, Jamie Lynn is even though I gave her the benefit of the doubt. For those of you wondering why, there's a logical explanation for that: I drink a lot.
Nov 8 2008Britney Spears heads to Lousiana for the holidays
If you live in California near Britney Spears' danger zone, pop open the bubbly; she's fled the state. With her sons in tow, Britney flew to her hometown of Kentwood, La. yesterday and presumably won't return until well after Thanksgiving, according to OK! Magazine:
This trip marks not only the first time that young Jayden will get to see Serenity, the family home in Kentwood, but also the first time since ex-husband Kevin Federline was awarded physical custody of the boys that Britney has been able to take them out of the state.
Insiders tell OK! that the reason for the trip is twofold. First, so that Britney can have some quiet family time away from the hustle and bustle of Hollywood before the release of her new album, Circus, on her 27th birthday (Dec. 2).
And the second reason for the family getaway is so Sean and Jayden get the chance to spend more time with their cousin Maddie, the baby daughter of Jamie Lynn Spears and Casey Aldridge.
Translated from Y'All-inese
BRITNEY: Where's my baby sister?
JAMIE LYNN: Here I am! Y'all sure got skinnier.
BRITNEY: Daddy won't let me go to KFC no more. I hates being crazy. - Wait a minute, what's with your belly?
JAMIE LYNN: Aw, nothin'.
BRITNEY: Jamie Lynn Spears, how'd you get pregnant again?
JAMIE LYNN: I dunno. Internet?
BRITNEY: Hmm, a mystery. Let's drink moonshine and smoke cigarettes till we figger it out.
JAMIE LYNN: Yay!
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