Oct 22 2009Lil Wayne gets year in prison for gun charges

A day after DNA testing linked him to an illegal handgun found on his tour bus, Lil Wayne copped a plea bargain this morning and pleaded guilty to charges of attempted weapon possession. He faces a year in prison as opposed to a minimum 3 1/2 year sentence if he was found guilty of illegal gun possession charges, according to the AP:

In New York, he politely answered the judge's standard questions with "yes, Sir" and "no, Sir" as he entered his plea to second-degree attempted weapon possession, a felony.
He acknowledged he had a .40 caliber semi-automatic loaded gun on bus.
When the judge warned that he would not be able to withdraw the plea as some people try to do, the rapper said, "I'm not one of those people."
Prosecutors said small amounts of DNA found on the loaded weapon connected it to the platinum-selling artist. Defense lawyer Stacey Richman said the gun wasn't Lil Wayne's, and the testing technique was too problematic to prove otherwise.

You know, just once I'd like to see a rapper get busted for something original besides the stereotypical gun charges. I understand it's part of their record contract to do time, but would it hurt to spice things up a bit? Maybe ride a tiger to Starbucks. Or, shit, fire white babies out of a cannon, I don't care. Just show me some zazz!

Nov 13 2008Anne Hathaway's ex: 'Prison is yucky'

Anne Hathaway's ex-boyfriend con-man Raffaello Follieri isn't having any fun in jail and wants you to come pick him up. Aww. He's serving a four and a half year sentence in federal prison for falsely claiming to be a CFO for the Vatican who's got some great real estate for you - except, not really, he's buying a yacht with your money. Psyche! Anyway, Raffaello's lawyer recently sent a letter to a judge with a list of complaints about this prison place. The AP reports:

"Mr. Follieri reports that he is in a windowless dormitory with approximately 120 other men," the letter said. "He says that he cannot eat because the food appears to be spoiled and that the toilet and shower facilities are unspeakably unsanitary. e.g., there is excrement in the shower and rats are roaming freely in the area. He says the stench is intolerable."

Anyone else feel surprisingly good about paying taxes right now?

Nov 5 2008Amy Winehouse's husband released from prison

Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil earned an early release from prison today provided he immediately checks into rehab. Blake was serving a 27 month sentence for conspiring to fix a trial involving a bartender he assaulted at a pub. The Sun reports:

Amy was not present when her hubby was released this morning, she remained in her Camden home after recently checking out of a London clinic following treatment for a 'chest infection'.
Blake sported a huge grin while leaving prison, wearing a striped red and white T-shirt and trademark trilby hat.
However he did show signs of his time behind bars, with red scratches down his arms and a chipped tooth.

These are shots of Amy Winehouse leaving her house to visit Blake, but instead, shoving her hands in some guy's coat pocket. I have no clue what Amy's trying to accomplish, but I'd bet a vital organ it ended with someone getting scurvy. Twice.

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Oct 27 2008Hulk Hogan says Nick learned a lot in jail

According to Hulk Hogan, being locked up for negligent driving had a transformative effect on his son. Which is nice, since his best buddy John Graziano has just been lying around in a permanent vegetative state and hasn't done a damn thing to increase his personal growth. See, parents? You can't always judge your kids by the company they keep! Us Magazine reports:

Hulk says Nick has changed his life since getting out of jail Oct. 20.
"He was on a roll," he said. "He was a young professional driver. He had the show going, and it all got real busy, and then when he went to jail, he got stripped of everything.
"He got stripped of clothes, of watches, he got stripped of his identity, and he found out what's important in life," Hulk added. "He knows what's real, and what's not real.
"And before he went in there, he was accountable, and he was responsible. And I think that's what he found out in jail, the most important thing. He understands what is real life. You know, it's about helping people, being positive, moving forward.
"He was a good kid before, he's a great kid now," Hulk says. "He's not the same man he was when he went in there."

Then Hulk added:

"But you know where he's really experienced the most growth, surprisingly enough? His rectum. Yeah, no kidding. On the drive home from jail I thought we were being followed by a UFO, the wind was whistling through his sphincter so loud. I've been storing all my spare bandannas in there, which gave us an idea for a family magic act that we'll hopefully be opening at the MGM Grand early next year. We might even get John in the act; it would lift his spirits, and he'd probably be good in the sawing-a-guy-in-half routine. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I hear Brooke's ass cheeks de-moisturizing. You know, a father's work is never done, but it has its rewards."

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