Oct 9 2009David Hasselhoff adds pants-pissing, doctor-punching to his drunken resume
David Hasselhoff managed to drink himself into the hospital again. This time in London which is an almost superhuman feat considering those people drink 20 pints of ale for breakfast. The Sun reports:
The bender began at the weekend when the US actor joined about 400 A-listers at X Factor supremo Simon Cowell's posh birthday party. He got smashed and was escorted out of a side door and back to the hotel.
A source close to the star said: "David is very hard to handle when he drinks, often very emotional and aggressive. On this occasion he became so drunk he wet his hotel bed - ruining two mattresses - and was becoming a real pain for staff. His assistant Joe Townley was so concerned he called out a doctor. David was furious and lashed out at him - but mistakenly hit the doctor.
"They decided they had no option but to lock him in the basement until an ambulance arrived."
I've funneled a significant amount of booze through my liver, but I can honestly say I've never been so shitfaced it required an entire basement to contain me until a team of paramedics arrived to talk me out of going for nachos. And that's a shame I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. *sniff* DON'T LOOK AT ME!
Sep 21 2009UPDATE: David Hasselhoff vs. Alcohol Poisoning: Round 587!
As legitimate actors with careers attended the Emmy Awards, David Hasselhoff kept it real by sitting at home chugging vodka like it was the goddamn antidote. Unfortunately for him, it ended up being the antidote to not going to the hospital with alcohol poisoning for the 35th time. RadarOnline reports:
Hasselhoff was home with his 17-year-old daughter Hayley and his male assistant and was on a bender. The Hoff had been drinking for more than a day, a source told RadarOnline.com. He recently wrapped taping for America's Got Talent and shortly after began boozing heavily on vodka.
When he appeared to be in physical danger 911 was called and he was transported to the hospital. His daughter went with him and was crying heavily.
And RadarOnline.com has also learned exclusively that the actor has been hospitalized with alcohol poisoning more than five times during the past few years.
Hoff has consistently been in denial about his severe alcoholism say people close to him. He denied that it was alcohol poisoning behind his hospitalization earlier this year but the details of his story changed as more people confirmed it.
Do you want to know my favorite part of this story? The fact that I used a picture of David Hasselhoff aggressively holding a hammer. It's like he saying to alcohol poisoning "Hey, you. Booze. Let's dance." And by dance I of course mean sit around the house without a shirt on telling people you wrote a book. "No, really. Just listen to me. Listen. I wrote it all down. In my mind."
UPDATE: TMZ reports The Hoff's blaming it on an ear infection. Except when asked to touch his ear he fell down a flight of stairs then ordered a pizza. True story.
Classic Video of a Shit-faced Hoff Eating a Burger After the Jump
Continue Reading "UPDATE: David Hasselhoff vs. Alcohol Poisoning: Round 587!"
Jul 31 2009Mischa Barton's 5150 saved her job
Mischa Barton's 5150 hold was reportedly the result of a suicide attempt after being told she was fired from the upcoming CW drama The Beautiful Life, according to E! News:
Also, the insider asserts, the attempt may have coincided with Mischa's bosses at the CW's The Beautiful Life deciding they no longer desired her services.
"Absolutely false," insists Barton's rep, "your source is far from knowledgeable, as nothing they've told you is true, inclusive of the suicide attempt."
When I pressed for what did put Barton in the hospital, he replied...
With nothing. There is no comment from Barton's rep, at all--after repeated attempts--on what was ailing his client.
Hope it stays that way, to tell ya the truth, 'cause we're hearing some inside Barton's camp are spinning tales of Mischa being all downtrodden from a tooth ailment. For a psych stay?
Yeah, that'll go over real well. Silence is, by far, the classier way to go here.
Dead air, by the way, is also the way the CW's chosen to go, as they had zilch to say when I asked if they'd fired and asked Mischa back around the time of her stay at Cedars.
Of course, I don't believe any of this. Mostly because Mischa's real suicide attempt will come when she finds out Lindsay Lohan is telling people she counseled her on the dangers of substance abuse. That'd be enough to make the Pope put a gun in his mouth. "I'm-a the Pope. They'sa gotta let me in. KAPOW!"
Jul 21 2009Lindsay Lohan thought Mischa Barton partied too hard? Wow.
In the wake of Mischa Barton's 5150 hold last week, it turns out Lindsay Lohan, who single-nosedly kept Colombia on the map during her entire working career, tried to warn her clubbing buddy that she was out of control. FOX 411 reports:
But last year, Lindsay walked away from the friendship after a messy Mischa pushed Lindsay over the edge. Sources close to Lohan tell Fox 411 that the two girls haven't spoken for months, but Lindsay would help Mischa if she asked for help to get through this latest fiasco.
"Lindsay and Mischa used to go out all the time together in Los Angeles. They were like kindred spirits when it came to clubbing and letting loose," says the insider. " They have many mutual friends, but everything shifted for Lindsay last year at a party. Mischa was completely out of control, and Lindsay sat Mischa down then to make it clear that she needed help. Lindsay was desperate for Mischa to clean herself up and offered a treatment facility and a therapist to help Mischa. Mischa completely ignored Lindsay, and that was the end."
Lindsay Lohan told somebody they party too much. -- Am I in an alternate universe? No, seriously, I'm almost afraid to look out the window for fear of seeing cats driving cars. Next you're going to tell me the president's black. *turns on TV* Hooooo. Leeee. Shiiiiiiit.
Continue Reading "Lindsay Lohan thought Mischa Barton partied too hard? Wow."
Jul 20 2009UPDATE: Bam Margera might have OD'd
Anyone remember Bam Margera? Well, I'm going to post about him anyway. TMZ reports he was taken to the hospital yesterday after a 911 call regarding a possible overdose. Damn, that's a shame. It's always a sad to a bright, talented young person get sidelined by drug addic- wait. Isn't this the guy who taped himself beating up his dad while he's taking a shit? Can I change my previous commentary to "Ha HA!"?
UPDATE: Bam's mom is claiming he was just "severely dehydrated" because, hey, who doesn't love a good enabler? Back me up, Michael Jackson. -- Oh, right.
Jul 17 2009Mischa Barton almost revived her career
Since she's currently on 5150 hold after a mental breakdown this week, Mischa Barton missed the premiere of her new movie Homecoming Thursday night which did not sit well with producer Bingo Gubelmann. You just read that name. Us Magazine reports:
"It's frustrating. And it's not ideal," Bingo Gubelmann told Usmagazine.com at the Thursday premiere. "It's frustrating, but I'm not going to sit here and trash her because we're young as a company and we've got to live and learn...I don't want to be known as the producer that will turn on any actress at the drop of that hat."
While rolling his eyes, Gubelmann continued that "it's hard to remember" why he chose Barton to star in his indie flick, "because, you know, she's not here right now.
"Now, I haven't spoken to her yet because she's totally unreachable, so I don't know exactly what happened. I mean, I'm not as good at taking the high road as some people and yes, it would obviously be nice if she was here. Even just to hang out," he went on.
Wow. Mischa's career is fuuuucked. I mean, once you piss off the executive producer of My Biodegradable Heart, you might as well pack your bags and leave town. Not that there's any shame in dinner theater provided you don't tweak out while folks are eating their prime rib. What? Someone had to tell her.
Jul 16 2009Mischa Barton committed to psych ward
Mischa Barton was placed on involuntary psychiatric hold at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center yesterday, according to People:
On Wednesday, Barton called police at 3 p.m. with a health problem, LAPD Officer April Harding confirmed to PEOPLE. "We assisted her with a medical issue and removed her from her home," says Harding. She adds that no paramedics were involved and no arrests were made, but confidentiality laws prevent her from revealing details about Barton's condition.
The star's rep, Craig Schneider, tells PEOPLE that police were only needed to protect the former O.C. star from the media as she was transported to her doctor.
Jesus. I wonder what made her snap. I mean, besides looking in the mirror and realizing "Holy shit, I'm Mischa Barton! NOOOO!"
May 26 2009Mike Tyson's daughter dies
Mike Tyson's 4-year-old daughter Exodus died this morning after a freak accident that left her on life support early yesterday. TMZ reports:
A rep for the Phoenix Police Department has just released the following statement regarding Mike Tyson's 4-year-old daughter: I was just advised by investigators that Exodus Tyson was pronounced deceased at 11:45 AM today at the hospital. Our sympathies go out to the family.
Sincere condolences to Mike Tyson and his family,
-The Superficial
