Nov 18 2009Paris Hilton denies drunken fight with Doug
Captain Birdfoot of the S.S. Barnacled Clam is denying she was involved in a fight with Doug Reinhardt that ended in the cops showing up at her house, according to TMZ:
"Doug and I were in bed, sound asleep, when Doug's houseguests from hell got into an argument. We had nothing to do with it. Doug told the LAPD that his guests' fight was over and that we had nothing to do with it."
Ok, sounds credible, except for the neighbor who says he eyeballed Paris in her driveway screaming at BF Doug Reinhardt, and then watched as the two engaged in a mutual shoving match. And then there's the LAPD, who tells us after arriving they actually made Paris get out of bed so they could check for injuries.
If Paris is afraid to admit she's in an abusive relationship because she'll be encouraged to break up with Doug, she really shouldn't be. In fact, I'd like to pay for the wedding. Let's make this thing permanent, you crazy lovebirds!
Nov 18 2009Paris & Doug still beating the shit out of each other
Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt reportedly got into another drunken brawl this morning, according to TMZ:
Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt got into an epic fight early this morning ... so much so the LAPD responded to a call -- "Drunk people arguing" -- this, according to law enforcement sources.
It happened a few hours ago in the Hollywood Hills. An eyewitness tells us he saw Paris in her driveway and Doug getting in his car, when Paris began screaming, "Don't go, don't go!"
The eyewitness tells us Doug got out of the car and the lovebirds began "shoving each other."
Sonofabitch. How many times do I have to explain to Doug Reinhardt he won't go to jail for murdering Paris in a "crime of passion?" No, really, I dare you to find one person who'd convict him let alone an entire jury. It's the greatest legal loophole known to man.
Continue Reading "Paris & Doug still beating the shit out of each other"
Nov 1 2009Doug Reinhardt photographed choking Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt went at each other last night in front of the paparazzi. The two were out celebrating Halloween and apparently the shit hit the fan when they got in an argument inside their limo and Doug threw Paris' phone out the window, according to Splash News. Paris was reportedly yelling "I'm going to kill you" which prompted Doug to wrap his hands around her neck until a mutual friend pulled her out of the car.
Dammit, I knew this was going to happen. After getting on my soapbox about Joe Francis and Chris Brown being giant pussies for beating women, I knew there would come a day where I'd end up looking like a hypocrite and of course, it had to be Paris Hilton riding that horse in. Although in my defense, I'm pretty sure even counselors at women's shelter are looking at these photos and giving each other high fives. (Your secret's safe with me.)
Scope Out (20) Pics of Paris & Doug After the Jump
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Oct 8 2009Jayde Nicole/Joe Francis video doesn't look good for Francis
RadarOnline has obtained a copy of the surveillance footage from the night Joe Francis allegedly attacked Jayde Nicole, and it looks way worse than he tried to play it off.
If you watch the video, Jayde pours a shot on Joe's shoulder from behind and walks away. She even has time to sit down at the bar before he decides to lunge at her, so it wasn't like she was flipping out him and he needed to defend himself. Of course, Joe admitted to pulling Jayde's hair, but he neglected the tiny detail where he also dragged her by said hair five feet into the crowd then threw her to the ground to get trampled. But then again, I'm sure he believes he was well within his rights according to the Small Cock article of the Tough Guy code.
NOTE: Included a YouTube clip after the jump for a quick reference, but definitely scope out the full Radar version which gives a wider shot of the fracas.
EDIT: YouTube video is down.
Aug 28 2009Joe Francis didn't punch Jayde Nicole. He just pulled her hair.
So it appears Joe Francis didn't punch Jayde Nicole last night then proceed to kick her while she's down, and security footage at Guys and Dolls confirms his story. TMZ reports:
Joe tells us he was hanging out with the General Manager for Guys and Dolls when Jayde Nicole pushed him from behind and poured a drink on him.
Joe says he turned around and pulled her hair in reaction to the attack. Francis says this is the only contact he made with Jayde or Brody the entire time ... and security footage from inside the club shows exactly this.
Joe says Brody had punched him and ripped his shirt off. He says the club's GM then escorted him outside to the parking lot and he lit up a cigarette.
Joe says the next thing he knew, he was on the ground. He was later told Brody had blindsided him.
That's when Francis says the club's security tasered Brody.
Well, it looks like Brody Jenner and Jayde Nicole are a bunch of liars, and Joe Francis has proven he couldn't possibly have beaten a woman because it turns out he fights just like one and therefore has a vagina. Glad that's cleared up.
Continue Reading "Joe Francis didn't punch Jayde Nicole. He just pulled her hair."
Aug 28 2009Joe Francis beat up Jayde Nicole
Joe Francis just fucked himself. Apparently the Girls Gone Wild founder decided it'd be a smart idea to beat the shit out out of Brody Jenner's girlfriend Jayde Nicole last night at Guys and Dolls in Hollywood. TMZ reports:
According to Jenner, he and his girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, were at the club celebrating his birthday, when Jayde saw Francis hitting on an ex-girlfriend of his (Francis'), Jenner says "unrelentingly." Jayde felt he was harassing the woman -- whom Jayde and Brody know -- and she threw a drink on Francis.
Jenner says Francis then pulled Jayde's hair, punched her in the face and threw her to the ground and began kicking her. Security broke it up and Francis got dragged away -- Brody followed.
Jenner says he started yelling at Francis and both men were ejected from the club.
Outside the club, Jenner says he tried to get back in to see Jayde but security wouldn't let him. Jenner then saw Joe, punched him in the face, and then someone tased him and he fell to the ground.
Francis left the scene. The cops came but no one was arrested. Jayde tells TMZ she will press charges against Francis. Jayde has a black and blue cheek, her face is swollen, she has a bruised left rib and her lower abdomen is sore. Some of her hair also got pulled out.
Brody has since updated his Twitter to let fans (?) know about the incident:
Joe Francis beat up my lady this morning for no reason! Pulled her to the ground, punched & kicked her..what does that say about him?
How can you call yourself a man when you beat up a girl?? Joe Francis is a piece of shit
Joe Francis needs to be in jail!!!
RadarOnline reports the Los Angeles Sheriff County Department is currently looking for Francis which shouldn't be too hard provided they follow the trail of discarded T-shirts and punched-out sorority girls.
UPDATE: So Jayde and Brody might have been full of shit.
Jayde Nicole's Lettuce Bikini Shoot
Jun 30 2009Anna Kournikova gets in Vegas catfight
Tennis star Anna Kournikova found herself in a catfight Saturday night when a drunk woman decided to throw a drink at her, according to Page Six:
Kournikova and her pals were partying at Lavo after attending the Hardbat Classic table tennis tournament when a woman at the next table "threw a drink at Anna. She felt Anna was invading her space," our source said. Kournikova "sprung into action" and starting screaming at the woman and shoving her. "It was a big fight," the spy said. The woman was kicked out only after leaving Kournikova with some vicious scratch marks on her neck.
It's times like these I really wish I had kids. Mostly so I could sell one to Satan in exchange for going back in time to see this fight go down. No, wait. Scratch that. I just remembered there's a day care across the street. I mean, uh, I have to go to the bathroom. With this net. And dart gun. (Mexican food.)
Scope Out (16) Pics of Anna After the Jump
Apr 2 2009Paris Hilton's publicist must shit kittens a lot
Because I have more productive things to do with my time than follow Paris Hilton's blog (Read: Huff aerosol), I completely missed this entry about Doug Reinhardt fighting a DJ who wouldn't play songs that Paris liked. I'm not even joking. Here's an excerpt that amazingly makes Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP read like it was written by Mother Teresa:
Just checking in to say hello and clear a few things up. I've been getting a lot of calls and emails regarding these subjects I'm about to discuss. First of all, last night at a club my boyfriend and I were assaulted for no reason at all. The DJ (I don't even know his name cause he sucks so bad) was playing the worst music ever! I like certain techno music, but this was not even danceable and was frankly giving me a migraine. I asked one of my friends who runs the hotel if he could change the music and he said " I'll lead you up to the DJ booth tell him and he'll play whatever you want." So he walked Doug and I over there. I asked the DJ if he could please play Daft Punk or Bob Sinclair and he rudely snapped at me and was like 'I only play this kind of music." I think he was jealous cause Bob Sinclair is a far better DJ then this guy by about a million times. He was so unbelievably rude and all because I asked to play one good song. Then out of nowhere his bodyguard (don't ask me why he has a bodyguard, like he really needs one. Ha) pushed me really hard, that's when my boyfriend, like my knight in shining armor, stepped in and told the guy to keep his hands off of me. Then all hell broke loose, it was like something out of a fight movie, it was so frightening. I had never seen anything like it in my life. Doug was fighting off like 6 guys. But he was of course stronger then them all but one of the idiots punched him in the face and busted open his lip. There was blood all over, I cried I was so upset and scared. It was ridiculous and for such a stupid reason, I cannot believe people behave this way, like ainmals! FYI this is not in my nature to be in club brawls, I;ve never been around anything like that. It was totally unprovoked and thank God Doug was there to rescue me. A man should NEVER put his hands on a woman in that manner.
It actually goes on after that, but I got tired of trying to slit my wrists with my keyboard. Damn these stubby keys! Anyway, I posted this for the four or five people who actually think Paris is a decent human being. I'm pretty sure Gandhi would've read this then tried to hit her with his car. Twice.
Continue Reading "Paris Hilton's publicist must shit kittens a lot"
