Nov 20 2009The 2009 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
If you don't like looking at insanely hot women in lingerie, now would be a good time to go see New Moon and/or become a People subscriber. These are shots from last night's 2009 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, and I started things off with Alessandra Ambrosio and Marisa Miller who seem to be engaged in some sort of epic ab battle where the only real loser is all of us who will never get to touch them. -- Wow, I honestly didn't set out to drive people to suicide, yet here we are. My bad.
- Added Miranda Kerr whose ass should've been the top pic. I've failed you.
- Added Selita Ebanks because I hope Nick Cannon is reading and sobbing in his butler outfit. This isn't how you make Mariah's sandwich.
- Added Doutzen Kroes. Do I really have to explain why?
Scope Out (40) Pics of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show After the Jump
Oct 16 2009Doutzen Kroes in an assload of lingerie
Sorry for the delayed start, folks. Apparently the Internet didn't want to hang out with me this morning. Anyway, here's Doutzen Kroes from the latest Victoria's Secret Lingerie catalog to complement Marisa Miller's bikini fest from earlier in the week. Go ahead and ogle these while I get a jump on the day's business. I SAID OGLE! *waves fist*
Scope Out (24) Pics of Doutzen After the Jump
Mar 10 2009Doutzen Kroes in a bikini
Here's Victoria's Secret supermodel Doutzen Kroes in Miami yesterday with her boyfriend DJ Ruckus. I really need to get into this music producing business, and not just so I can score with models. I'm thinking about singers and actresses, too, because I'm a complicated man with complex emotions like in that movie where the chick has amnesia and writes in that notebook. I think it was called "Forgetting Stuff." Ladies?
Nov 20 2008Karolina Kurkova doesn't have a belly button
Man, British people are smart. The folks over at BBC News made a startling discovery over the weekend: Karolina Kurkova doesn't have a belly button. Wait. Women have belly buttons? When did that happen?:
Its absence was noticed this week when the 24-year-old graced a US catwalk for lingerie giant Victoria Secret. While most of us have an "outie" or an "innie", Ms Kurkova has a smooth indentation (although sometimes a tummy button is airbrushed onto her photos in post-production).
Ms Kurkova has not spoken publicly about how she came to have a smooth navel, and all her agent will say is "she's not an alien".
Of course, this news would be startling if I didn't just make a fascinating discovery of my own: Karolina Kurkova - has a face. BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA!
That's how you report, my friends. That's how you report.
Continue Reading "Karolina Kurkova doesn't have a belly button"
Sep 22 2008Doutzen Kroes in a bikini
These are pics of Dutch model and newest Victoria's Secret Angel Doutzen Kroes in Miami. Now, I can already tell what some of you readers are going to say about her boyfriend. C'mon, I read the comments. So, it's pretty obvious there's going to be a few of you who will undoubtedly say, "That's just unacceptable - because she should be in an entirely non-committal sex-based relationship with The Superficial Writer who once made love to a space woman. True story." To those folks, my deepest thanks and your autographed Martian baby is in the mail.
See shots of Doutzen's Victoria's Secret debut here which now look even more ridiculously airbrushed.
Aug 22 2008Victoria's Secret launches coffee table book that will let my dinner guests know exactly where I stand on the issue of breasts: Love 'em!
Victoria's Secret is publishing a coffee table book entitled Supermodel Obsession that features Adriana Lima (above), Doutzen Kroes and others. If you're like me, you've often pulled a shoebox full of old Victoria's Secret catalogs out from underneath your bed and thought "Gee, I wish someone would collect these into a classy, decorative hardcover book." It'd make a beautiful addition to my coffee table right next to the whiskey bottles, LEGOs and Geekologie Writer's mom. Ha ha! I can't get her to leave!
