Nov 13 2009Diddy is an old romantic

In an interview to promote his reality show I Want To Work For Diddy, Sean "Diddy" Combs regales RadarOnline with a romantic tale about sending an assistant to fetch porn:

"One time, I had left my porn collection in New York," he said.
"Its was a Friday night, I had to send him out," Diddy said, adding he was also entertaining a lady friend, and wanted the XXX-rated entertainment to set a mood.

He needed porn to set the mood? I am clearly not meeting the right women. Anytime I try to get a chick to watch porn it always ends with "Hey, this isn't Twilight, and why did you ask my mom to watch?" I was hoping she'd make popcorn! Jesus, why is everything about sex with you women?

Sep 14 2009Kelly Clarkson to Kanye: 'What happened to you as a child?'

Kelly Clarkson hopped on her blog to tell Kanye West about himself:

Dear Kanye,
What happened to you as a child?? Did you not get hugged enough?? Something must have happened to make you this way and I think we're all just curious as to what would make a grown man go on national television and make a talented artist, let alone teenager, feel like shit. I mean, I've seen you do some pretty shitty things, but you just keep amazing me with your tactless, asshole ways. It's absolutely fascinating how much I don't like you. I like everyone. I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you...which is pretty odd since I don't even personally know you. The best part of this evening is that you weren't even up for THIS award and yet you still have a problem with the outcome. Is winning a moon man that much of a life goal?? You can have mine if it will shut you up. Is it that important, really??
I was actually nominated in the same category that Taylor won and I was excited for her...so why can't you be?? I'm not even mad at you for being an asshole...I just pity you because you're a sad human being.
On a side note, Beyonce has always been a class act and proved again tonight that she still is. Go TEXAS!!
Taylor Swift, you outsell him ....that's why he's bitter. You know I love your work! Keep it up girl! KC :)

Because writing full paragraphs is hard, other celebs took to their Twitters to bash Kanye:

"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." - Pink

"FUCK U KANYE. IT'S LIKE U STEPPED 0N A KITTEN." - Katy Perry

"I'm gonna say this, we should always have respect for each other! End of discussion" - Diddy

"congrats @taylorswift13 on your vma!!! you deserve it more than anyone!! I saw the devil in action when kanye west stole your mic! u rock!!!" - Heidi Montag

Okay, I think Kanye is a giant egotistical cock, but something freaks me out when a rich, Republican white woman starts claiming a black man is possessed by Satan. So, thanks, Heidi, for officially jumping the shark on this one. I'm sure Kanye's check is in the mail, or he'll be over later to pay Spencer. In ass dollars.

Continue Reading "Kelly Clarkson to Kanye: 'What happened to you as a child?'"

Jul 6 2009Chris Brown hooks up with Kanye's ex Amber Rose

Chris Brown and Kanye West's ex Amber Rose were reportedly all over each other at Diddy and Ashton Kutcher's July 4th bash in Beverly Hills. Which wouldn't have been so bad if Chris Brown didn't bring 18-year-old Teyana Taylor as his date. NY Daily News reports:

"Diddy announced the deejay would do a tribute to Michael Jackson," said a guest. "Chris did an amazing impression of Michael's moonwalk. It wasn't long before he was dancing with Amber."
Later, as the party wound down, the pair nestled on a couch in the backyard of the Beverly Hills mansion.
"They were holding hands and making out in the shadows," said a witness. "She had her hand on his leg."
Taylor is said to have been irked by the amount of time Brown spent with Rose, but still accompanied him to an after-party at the club Guys.
There, Brown again got upclose and personal with Rose, who is 26.
"They were kissing on the dance floor in front of Teyana," said a witness. "But he and Amber left separately."

Wow. Chris Brown's doing an amazing job cementing his relationship as the music industry's most eligible bachelor. If he's not beating the shit out of you, he's banging another chick on your dress. It's almost like a magical fairy tale - that punches you in the face. Then again, he's rich, so who gives a crap? Am I right, ladies? High five!

Continue Reading "Chris Brown hooks up with Kanye's ex Amber Rose"

Jun 29 2009Diddy flips out during Michael Jackson tribute party

Sean "Diddy" Combs flipped the fuck out Saturday night when guests at a Michael Jackson tribute party dared to celebrate the King of Pop's death by, gasp!, enjoying his music. What a bunch of dicks. NY Daily News reports:

Diddy became irate when party guests at L.A. hot spot MyHouse seemed to be having too much of a good time while celebrating Jacko's life.
Toward the end of the evening, the rapper abruptly stopped playing a remixed version of "Man in the Mirror" to dedicate a moment of silence to the singer and then told guests like Queen Latifah, Taraji P. Henson, Wesley Snipes and Hill Harper, "While you guys are talking and laughing, you're not hearing his words. You're not listening to his words. I need you to hear what he's saying! Listen to the message that he is telling us."
He then resumed his lecture while blasting "Mirror" at full volume, shouting over the music, "Michael, I hear your words -- I hear what you're saying!"

Isn't the message to "Man in the Mirror" about changing one's ways? Then why did Diddy keep acting like his usual drama queen self? Maybe it's because, I dunno, he wasn't listening to the words either. Great. Now Michael's never gonna get into Heaven. Way to go, Diddy. Now look what you did.

Mar 11 2009P. Diddy on letting Chris Brown & Rihanna use his house

P. Diddy stopped by The Ellen DeGeneres Show yesterday and defended his decision to let Chris Brown and Rihanna to use his Miami mansion for working through their problems, and more importantly, riding jet skis. People reports:

"It's my house, and I'm allowed to give my house to whoever I want to give my house to," Diddy said on the show. "I don't cast a stone - cast judgment on anybody. So, if friends ask me for a favor, then I'm going to be there for a favor as long as I know the energy of the favor is positive."
Plus, Diddy added that he believes it's positive for "two people to sit down and talk about a situation they're in."
He also cautions to be wary of jumping to conclusions, saying, "We don't know exactly what's going on. There are two young individuals [involved]. We need to pray for them."
But, he told DeGeneres, "I don't think it's right for anybody to hit anybody."

"I don't think it's right for anybody to hit anybody." Except when some dude talks trash to you at the club. Am I right, Diddy? I'm right. High-five!

Nov 30 2008Ben Stiller, Jack Black, P. Diddy dye their pubes (Those words just happened.)

Nancy Jarecki is an entrepreneur who sells dye for "hair down there." While her product line Betty Beauty is taking off, Nancy needs to learn rule number one in the cutthroat pube dye business: Never out your celebrity clients. Page Six reports:

It's not just women who are interested in matching the carpet to the drapes: Jarecki says so many men have bought the product that she plans to launch a "Betty for Men" line early next year. "I guess man-scaping for guys is really big these days," she says, adding that she recently sent the entire assortment of colors to noted waxing enthusiast Diddy and got back a thank-you note from his assistant.
A Betty spokesperson adds that "Law & Order" brunette Mariska Hargitay, country singer Vince Gill, Jack Black and Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor also use the product.

For the record, I fancy myself a man-scaping enthusiast as well. Which is why my dude shrub comes complete with a gazebo, lawn gnome and barbecue pit. Also, cookout next Friday. BYOB. (There will be badminton.)

Continue Reading "Ben Stiller, Jack Black, P. Diddy dye their pubes (Those words just happened.)"

Nov 10 2008P. Diddy is an 8-year-old girl

P. Diddy celebrated his 39th birthday and Barack Obama's presidential victory at Mansion night club in New York Tuesday night. Diddy apparently had a diva moment when he saw the decor and started flipping out on the decorator. Thank God, Jay Z showed up with a pony and chilled everybody out. Okay, that didn't happen. It was a jet made of diamonds. Page Six reports:

"He was given a budget of $7,000 and 12 hours to create an all-white décor, including 1,000 white roses, blow-ups of Diddy and Barack Obama, and $2,000 of white fabric," our spy said. "Diddy declared it dreadful and went into a major hissy fit, screaming, 'Show me the receipts!' and 'Get the money back!' to his assistant. Then he began ripping the fabric off the walls saying he hated it. He berated the poor young decorator to the point that the guy gave back $2,000 of the money he had spent."

Hey, you know what's a good thing to do after ripping up all the roses and taffeta at your birthday party? Get a Pap smear.

Oct 25 2008P. Diddy + Family Photos = A bucket of inappropriate

P. Diddy poses with his two sons in the latest issue of L'Uomo Vogue. I guess they're going for the pimp Chippendale's look. Cute, right? Just one small problem: THEY'RE HIS DAUGHTERS.

I'm seriously at a loss for words here - with the obvious exceptions of "Fuck," "What," and "The."