Jun 24 2009Jon Gosselin's mistress will be in future episodes

Jon Gosselin's mistress/girlfriend Deanna Hummel will be seen in new episodes of Jon & Kate Plus Eight, according to NY Daily News:

Although the network announced Tuesday that it was pulling the plug on the remaining new episodes of the hit series, the show will resume on Aug. 3 with Deanna on board.
"Deanna's role isn't expected to be big, but because she's part of Jon's life, she'll be filmed," says our insider. The source added that the show will focus primarily on how Jon and Kate are raising their brood separately. As of now, the duo plans to flip-flop the days they reside in the house so the children will not have to shuttle between their parents.

Or here's an idea: QUIT THE GODDAMN SHOW. Whichever one of the parents pulls out first, I'll believe was the good guy in the divorce. Will it be the disenfranchised dad who finally found his testicles? Or the woman who can't shut up about herself because she's a control freak with books to sell? Hmm, only time will tell - when Jon's the one who quits.

Jun 10 2009Jon Gosselin spent Kate's birthday with mistress

Apparently Jon Gosselin decided a great gift for Kate's birthday would be him sticking his penis in another woman's vagina (Deanna Hummel above) while clear across the country. Do you get a card with something like that? Just curious. Us Weekly reports:

On that day, March 28, Jon was on a steamy, booze-filed trip to Park City, Utah, with 23-year-old school teacher Deanna Hummel (the June 1 Jon & Kate Plus 8 episode only showed him helping handicapped children ski as Kate celebrated her birthday alone with the kids on a "surprise" trip to the Ace of Cakes' kitchen).
"Hey, it's Kate's birthday," Jon told a local friend, the new Us Weekly reports. "I should get her something." Despite visiting a jewelry store, the pal says Jon never followed through. Instead, he spent the day downing free Budweisers with Deanna at the event.
That night, a source says Jon and Deanna "curled up" at the Downstairs bar (co-owned by actors Chris and Danny Masterson), adding, "It was snuggle-o-matic."
As the night wore on, Jon and his hard-partying pals began "reeking of pot. I know that the kids he's hanging out with like a little herbal substance."

Holy shit, a guy with eight freaking kids and a control freak wife smoked pot. C'mon. It's not like he's going to go home and raid their Easy Bake Ovens -- unless those things make pizza which would be awesome. Think about it, he could have like eight little pies going at once then pretend he's a giant. Talk about the sweet life. (Minus Kate, the kids, child support and basically everything else pertaining to Jon Gosselin's life.)

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May 6 2009Jon Gosselin's affair confirmed by mistress' family

Despite the fact both parties have denied a relationship, the relatives of 23-year-old Deanna Hummel are coming forward to confirm she's been having an affair with Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8. Her brother Jason provided Us Weekly with all the details:

"She's a nice girl, not a homewrecker," Jason tells Us Weekly. "He is a bad liar. This isn't healthy for her. But she is refusing to help herself, so here I am trying to help her myself. I hope this clears the air."
After Jon and Deanna met in mid-January at Chill Lounge in Reading, Pennsylvania (they sent each other $3 shots), Jason says Jon -- who has twins, 8, and sextuplets, 5 -- began relentlessly pursuing his sister. By mid-February, he was coming over to their Reading house.
At the Hummel house, Jason says Deanna and Jon would "pretty much stay locked away like two teenagers. It was weird. He's a grown man."
He also adds, "A lot of the time, it was pretty, um, gross listening to her, you know, um -- how do I say this? The walls are thin. Let's just say that. I mean, no one wants to hear his sister having sex, let alone with a married dude who's, like, almost twice her age and who has eight kids and a maybe-crazy wife. Ick. Nast."

Also, I'm pretty sure Jon yells a lot during sex. Mostly things like:

"I get to keep my testicles afterward?! OH, GOD!"
"There aren't post-it notes on your vagina telling me what to do! YES, YES!"
"No kids are walking in! No kids are walking in! No kids are WALKING IN!"

Video of Jon sneaking out of Deanna's house in March after the jump.

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