Apr 9 2009Madonna's powers far greater than we imagined

- Madonna is being repeatedly asked for by four-year-old Mercy in Malawi. If this doesn't prove witchcraft works, I don't know what does. Not counting every time I give a stripper a dollar. Damn their sorcery! [PopSugar]

- Suri Cruise taking dance lessons? Or an elaborate cover for Tom Cruise forcing Katie Holmes to learn the moonwalk? You decide. [Just Jared]

- Dr. Drew calls Lindsay Lohan an addict, Britney Spears lucky to be alive and Nicole Richie "an inspiration." Close, but that last one is going to cost your license. No, seriously. [I'm Not Obsessed]

- Christina Applegate survives cancer but still loves cigarettes. That should end well. [Pink is the New Blog]

- Gwyneth Paltrow is selling her clothes. At prices even you peasants can afford! Huzzah! [Jezebel]

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Aug 19 2008Christina Applegate '100 percent clear' of breast cancer

Christina Applegate has pwned breast cancer. In an interview today on Good Morning America, Christina revealed that doctors were able to successfully remove the cancer, and she's good to go. ABC News reports:

"I'm clear," the star of "Samantha Who?" said. "Absolutely 100 percent clear and clean. ... They got everything out so I'm definitely not going to die from breast cancer."

Congratulations to Christina on her speedy recovery, and also, thanks for keeping it a secret that I cured you with my sexiness. True story.

EDIT: So, when I wrote this post late last night there was no talk of double mastectomies. Fortunately, Christina Applegate is remarkably positive about the whole thing according to the AP: "I'm going to have cute boobs 'til I'm 90, so there's that. I'll have the best boobs in the nursing home. I'll be the envy of all the ladies around the bridge table." Breast implants: Is there anything they can't solve?

Aug 4 2008Christina Applegate diagnosed with breast cancer

Christina Applegate has been diagnosed with breast cancer, according to her publicist. E! Online reports:

"Benefiting from early detection through a doctor-ordered MRI, the cancer is not life threatening," publicist Ame Van Iden said. "Christina is following the recommended treatment of her doctors and will have a full recovery. No further statement will be issued at this time."
Applegate's rep also tells E! News that the 36-year-old Emmy nominee will maintain her regular shooting schedule on Samantha Who? while undergoing treatment.

Christina's mother, actress Nancy Priddy, is a breast cancer survivor. The Superficial hopes for a similar outcome and wishes Christina a full and speedy recovery.

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