Nov 2 2009Famous People in Costumes
Because everyone knows Hollywood is a godless bordello of Sodomites, it's no surprise the stars came out to celebrate Halloween/pay homage to Satan for their careers. So here's a gathering of costumed celebs In no particular order:
Jessica Lowndes as God Willing, the Future Referee of My Pants.
Mariah Carey as A Victoria's Secret Angel with Elephantitis.
Jessica Alba as Dora the Explorer: For Daddies. (WTF?)
Gwen Stefani as Gavin Rossdale's Cowpoke.
Khloe Kardashian as Catwoman with Self-Esteem Issues.
AnnaLynne McCord as Batgirl Who Still Gets Asked "Wait. They remade 90210?"
Bai Ling as... Bai Ling? I don't even know.
Brooke Shields as Flapper Mom with Tom Cruise Punching Action.
Christina Aguilera as the Cheapest Celebrity Mom Ever. (You're rich, lady!)
Heidi Klum as a Woman Who Just Gave Birth Hiding Her Body in Shame Underneath the World's Most Elaborate Bird Costume.
HAIL SATAN!
Scope Out (40) Pics of Costumed Celebs After the Jump
Oct 12 2009Christina Aguilera has pumpkins, too
While others basically assaulted small children in the face with their breasts, here's a more modest Christina Aguilera taking her son Max to Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch yesterday. Although she also brought Jordan Bratman which I'm sure left many a child awake at night for fear of the Mole Man hiding under their bed. Or worse, marrying them. AAAAHHHH! Sorry, that scared me, too.
Scope Out (24) Pics of Christina After the Jump
Jun 3 2009Christina Aguilera's son is a lucky bastard
Here's Christina Aguilera in Beverly Hills last night doing whatever the hell she does these days. If it's being the Ambassador of Not Looking at Women as Sex Objects to Be Covered in Honey and Cinnamon While Pouring Me a Beer, she should probably find a new job. Immediately. But first, how 'bout a refill? All this writing has given me a powerful thirst. Powerful, I say.
Scope Out (12) Pics of Christina After the Jump
Continue Reading "Christina Aguilera's son is a lucky bastard"
May 29 2009Christina Aguilera still has giant breasts
Christina Aguilera performed for The Tonight Show last night and her breasts are still awesome which is extremely comforting to this writer. Sort of like when I was a small child and thought there was a monster under my bed until my dad would come in and say it's just his girlfriend hiding from my mom so I should shut up or he'll stab Santa Claus. Ha ha, dads.
EDIT: Because I'm so awesome, apparently these pics are from 2007. Last time I trust the British tabloids. But probably not.
Video after the jump.
Continue Reading "Christina Aguilera still has giant breasts"
Apr 29 2009Lindsay Lohan shares her dieting secrets
- Lindsay Lohan"s weight loss secret: Adderall! And yet somehow she can't find work. Amazing. [Lainey Gossip]
- Heidi Montag is considering posing for Playboy, and Spencer is actually brokering the deal. Hey, if he's not going to look at her naked, somebody should. That's in the Ten Commandments. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Christina Aguilera's son is a little neat freak. Just as long as he doesn't dust daddy's Lord of the Ring figures - then he gets the hose. [Just Jared]
- Mel Gibson takes his new lady out in public. To the Wolverine premiere. Romance isn't dead, folks. [Radar Online]
- Paris Hilton gets her breast grabbed at a nightclub. You know how I knew this was fake? When I typed "gets her breast grabbed." [Celebslam]
- Jennifer Aniston reportedly knew about Brad and Angelina affair for 18 months and even caught him having phone sex. Hey, maybe he was just really excited about his new phone. I get the same way with porn. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Apr 1 2009Christina Aguilera: A Side We Hardly Knew
Ask anyone - man, woman or child - what's the first thing that comes to mind when they think of Christina Aguilera, and I guarantee the answer will be "huge awesome breasts." So imagine my surprise to find out she actually has a nice butt. That's like discovering your Xbox has a vagina. Or if you're woman, discovering that, well, your Xbox has a vagina. We're not so different are we, guys and gals?
Continue Reading "Christina Aguilera: A Side We Hardly Knew"
Apr 1 2009Christina Aguilera: A Side We Hardly Knew
Ask anyone - man, woman or child - what's the first thing that comes to mind when they think of Christina Aguilera, and I guarantee the answer will be "huge awesome breasts." So imagine my surprise to find out she actually has a nice butt. That's like discovering your Xbox has a vagina. Or if you're woman, discovering that, well, your Xbox has a vagina. We're not so different are we, guys and gals?
Continue Reading "Christina Aguilera: A Side We Hardly Knew"
Dec 21 2008Paris Hilton had a shitty week
So, remember when Paris Hilton's house was broken into while she was at Christina Aguilera's birthday party? Two fun facts about that: 1. TMZ reports Paris left the front door unlocked while relying solely on her chihuahua for security. And 2. Surprise! She wasn't even invited to Christina's party in the first place, according to Page Six:
Hilton and Flickinger were at LA restaurant Saam Thursday night in the private dining area when Christina Aguilera, who was celebrating her 28th birthday, walked in. "Christina was with hubby Jordan Bratman, Nicole Richie and Joel and Benji Madden," our spy said. "Paris wasn't invited and left shortly before they arrived so she wouldn't have to see Benji or be asked to leave the private area for Christina."
Didn't Paris just say something about having great karma? Then again, when your vagina technically qualifies as a landfill, I guess getting robbed and becoming a social pariah still warrants a smiley face in your diary for the day:
"<3 At least nobody died from my genitals! Yay!! :D"
