Feb 3 2009Gwyneth Paltrow does not care for the haters
Gwyneth Paltrow sat down for an interview with Elle UK where she tackled rumors of her marriage falling apart and haters of her lifestyle blog GOOP. She then tackled whoever the hell designed her outfit. There were no survivors:
On the criticisms of GOOP:
"Fuck the haters! I saw this blog of people writing horrible things about me and for a second your ego is so wounded. How could people hate me, my intentions or what I’m trying to do? I’m a good person and I’m trying to put good things into the world."
On her marriage:
"It doesn't behoove us to be a public couple. He certainly doesn't want to be that. We've never ever walked down a red carpet together, we never will. If people think that that means we're not together, then – ha ha ha! – so be it."
On smoking:
"The last cigarette I smoked was the day I found out I was pregnant with Apple. I'm so pissed off it gives you cancer. But then, once you have children, if you've witnessed a death like I did with my father, you just can't. But I've decided that when I'm about 70 I'm going to start smoking again. Why not? I can't wait!"
"How could people hate me?" Because you say things like "it doesn't behoove us to be a public couple," and then laugh when people draw the logical conclusion that you two hate each other. Which you do. In the face.
Also, hanging out with Madonna probably doesn't help either. Just sayin'.
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Dec 29 2008Jennifer Lopez & El Skeletor to remain married
- Jennifer Lopez, despite rumors to the contrary, is not getting a divorce, according to her rep. Oh, well, if her rep says so, then it must be true. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get one of these rep people to tell a child support judge I've been sterile my entire life. Infallible logic wins again! [E! Online]
- Jessica Simpson's boyfriend Dallas quarterback Tony Romo collapsed in the shower after suffering a rib injury in yesterday's game against the Eagles. At this time, I'd like to point out to Jessica Simpson that all my ribs are in working order. Just putting it out there on the off-chance she learned to read recently. Ha, who am I kidding? [ESPN]
- Chris Martin can apparently walk among us normal folks without being recognized. Seems no one knows who the Coldplay singer is despite the fact he bangs Gwyneth Paltrow. I'm failing to see the problem here. Does he want people to know he diddles a woman who's one Pilates class away from looking from Madonna? I'd keep that on the down-low, Jim. It's Chris? Okay, sure. [Page Six]
- Oprah Winfrey has been duped by another memoir writer. After raving over Holocaust survivor Herman Rosenblat's novel Angel at the Fence about meeting his wife in a concentration camp, the story has been debunked and canceled by the publisher. Which is great, just great. Now who's going to pitch my memoir Yes, Ladies, It's That Big, Shoots Diamonds, Gives Back Rubs and Knows How to Maximize Deductions for the Tax Return You Deserve!? Sonofa.... [TMZ]
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Dec 11 2008Gwyneth Paltrow tries to save marriage despite presence of 'Madonna bug'
Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Coldplay singer Chris Martin are reportedly shacked up in their London home in an effort to save their marriage. However, friends are saying the couple's main problem is Madonna, according to NY Daily News:
The Oscar-winner is so committed, "she's staying overseas until the holidays are over," even forgoing events she typically loves, like tonight's third annual Food Bank Lunchbox Auction bash. She usually hosts the event with close friend Mario Batali."
But despite Paltrow's claim that everything is smooth sailing, we hear Madonna may be the thorn in her marriage's side. "Gwyneth has the Madonna bug... bad," the pal says. "It's eerie. Gwyneth acts normally until Madonna comes around, and then Gwyn is all about Madonna, all the time. Madge has even introduced Gwyneth to all her friends.
"Now instead of going to see Chris perform, she'd rather hang out with people like Alex Rodriguez and Ingrid Casares."
I heard that, if Madonna crosses your path on a full moon, she'll make you cheat on your significant other then come up with some crazy excuse on your celebrity blog that nobody's buying and you're sleeping in the bathtub tonight. Curse you, Madonna!
NOTE: Has anyone seen my loofah-pillow?
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Nov 29 2008Madonna & A-Rod start 'No Married People Club,' Gwyneth Paltrow invited to join
After word got out that Alex "A-Rod" Rodriquez was bailing on his kids to eat turkey with Madonna, he denied the reports and took his ex-wife Cynthia and their daughters out to eat Tuesday night right in front of the paparazzi (above). Ultimately, A-Rod did eat Thanksgiving dinner with his family in Miami, but then bolted to Madonna's mansion to encourage Gwyneth Paltrow to become an adulterer - just like that Charlie Brown special! NY Daily News reports:
The third baseman hopped into his black Porsche around 4p.m. and sped off to Star Island - where Madonna has a home.
Sources say he is staying there while he's in town, and witnesses saw his car parked there overnight.
Later, the kabbalah cronies celebrated at the estate of Jeff Soffer, the bachelor billionaire who reportedly has come between Gwyneth Paltrow and rocker hubby Chris Martin.
Feeding speculation that Paltrow and Martin are ready to split, Paltrow has been staying at Soffer's Indian Creek Island mansion and spent Thanksgiving with him, sources said.
"Gwyneth has confided to friends she and Chris are taking a break," a source claimed. "Jeff is crazy about her."
Also, in case there were any doubts Madonna and A-Rod are having unholy relations, he was spotted Wednesday night handing her a water bottle at her concert, according to E! News:
As Madonna completed her second song before a sell-out crowd in Miami's Dolphin Stadium Wednesday night, New York Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez handed her a bottle of water.
"It was easy for him to hand it off because he was sitting in the front row," a witness tells E! News. "He was all excited watching her perform."
And, just like that, Madonna acknowledged in public, less than a week after her quickie divorce from Guy Ritchie, that A-Rod is indeed the superfan (and waterboy) he's reportedly been for most of this year in private.
He handed her a water bottle?! Oh yeah, these two are fucking. In fact, I'm surprised they even had time to exchange bottles of water. That's how much they're fucking. Trust me, I know these things. I have a Ph.D. in Who's Doing the Fucking. Okay, technically it's an old pizza box with "Dr. Naked Stuff" written in Elmer's Glue and glitter, but still, ladies?
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Nov 19 2008Gwyneth Paltrow might be pulling a Madonna
Just like her best friend Madonna, Gwyneth Paltrow might be ditching her British husband Coldplay singer Chris Martin. Instead of seeing him perform this weekend, Gwyneth opted to attend the opening of Fountainebleu in Miami at the personal invitation of the owner Jeff Soffer. Page Six reports:
Paltrow and Soffer - a billionaire bachelor who's regarded as Miami royalty - have become very good friends recently, insiders added.
Adding to speculation, Paltrow didn't stay at the hotel with other guests, opting to "stay at a friend's house instead for more privacy," a source reports. While attending the Victoria's Secret party and show, she "remained closed off in a private section and hung out with Soffer and Madonna paramour Alex Rodriguez."
On Friday, Soffer gave Paltrow a private tour of the hotel and then whisked her away in his Bentley. Saturday, she joined him on his yacht with her pal Kate Hudson.
Adding fuel to the fire was the way Paltrow looked in Miami. "She was very, very thin," a witness noted. "She looked stressed out. And she certainly didn't act like a happily married woman."
So I'm guessing it's safe to assume this Jeff Soffer character had a wild threesome with Gwyneth Paltrow and Kate Hudson on a pile of diamonds in international waters. Pfft. Who hasn't? Get back to me when you do something original, Jeff.
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