Sep 17 2009Natalie Portman at TIFF and other news
- Kelly Clarkson continues to go after Kanye West. Though he shouldn't be concerned until she draws him a piping hot bath with sliced carrots in it. [PopEater]
- Paris Hilton might be the reason behind Avril Lavgine's divorce. Because everything she touches turns to dust. Or itches. Either one. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kellan Lutz shirtless and working out. Considering this a little something for all the ladies who suffered through Nipple Morning. Who loves ya? [Just Jared]
- Tom Cruise says sex with him is "like flying." Provided the aircraft is small and lands up a man's ass. [PopSugar]
- Chace Crawford is banging Bar Refaeli. I weep now. [Celebslam]
- Mischa Barton is doing a fantastic job staying sober. And by fantastic I mean Jack Daniels and Quaaludes. [The Blemish]
- Joe Francis gets kicked out of a club at the behest of a Brody Jenner hanger-on?! THE MAN BROUGHT US GIRLS GONE WILD! [Socialite Life]
- Lisa Kudrow : time :: Rihanna : Chris Brown. [ICYDK]
Sep 3 2009Tony Romo finds replacement for Jessica Simpson
Tony Romo is dating 22-year-old Miss Missouri 2008 Candice Crawford who also happens to be the sister of Gossip Girl star Chace Crawford. So you know he's not going to do anything about it except aloofly look into the camera. Us Magazine reports:
"She's not happy that it's out [in the media], but they weren't trying to hide," a source close to Candice tells Us the day after CelebTV.com first reported the coupling. "They've gone out to dinner in Dallas a bunch."
Granted, Tony Romo no longer has Jessica Simpson's large, bountiful breasts to play with, he also don't have to sword fight Joe Simpson every time he wants to touch a boob. Or clear off a pile of cheeseburger wrappers. That, too.
Continue Reading "Tony Romo finds replacement for Jessica Simpson"
Aug 24 2009Michael Jackson was homicided and other news
- Michael Jackson's death has been ruled a homicide. Who saw that coming? Besides Dr. Conrad Murray and anyone with TV or Internet access. [PopEater]
- Anna Paquin on a trapeze. Because apparently winning an Oscar at 12 curses you to have a lifelong obsession with amusement parks. I have no fucking clue. [Lainey Gossip]
- Taylor Swift has freakishly long arms. Hmm... I wonder if she could reach the fridge from my bedroom. In case she wants a drink! I was not at all suggesting sandwich making. Unless her arms are near the bread drawer. Just sayin'. [Celebslam]
- Jennifer Aniston won't date "a normal guy." Which is why I'd like to point out I still play with action figures. That doing anything for you? Not counting reaching for the pepper spray. [Wonderwall]
- Chace Crawford as a greaser. Think Shia LaBeouf in Indiana Jones 4, but you don't want to cry in a corner afterward. [Socialite Life]
- Eddie Cibrian's wife is more than happy to hand him over to LeAnn Rimes. [Just Jared]
- Ashlee Simpson continues looking good with the ladies of Melrose Place. [PopSugar]
- Paris Hilton visited a children's hospital in Guatemala because nothing cures sick kids like more infections, but not really. You killed them all, Wonkface. [Splash News]
Aug 10 2009Kim Kardsashian is blonde and other news
- Kathy Griffin brought Levi Johnston as her date to the Teen Choice Awards. Was this an object lesson for the kids about cougars' old age making them infertile so you don't even have to bother with a condom? Because that's what I picked up. [PopEater]
- Halle Berry is pregnant again? But how?! We haven't made love since that time I wrote the words "Halle" on a bagel. [A Socialite's Life]
- Ashley Greene was caught making out with Chace Crawford this morning. Was that before or after she leaked nude pictures of herself? [Lainey Gossip]
- Natasha Henstridge is making me reconsider women over 30. (But 35's the cut off. Seriously.) [Celebslam]
- Milo Ventimiglia shirtless. In case you're into that sort of thing. (Read: The bare chest of a midget fucker.) [Just Jared]
- Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt keep the sparks alive. Until later that night when they realize that wasn't a lumpy pillow it was Maddox the whole time. "Ha ha! We need to start giving these kids away." [PopSugar]
- Dane Cook booed at the Teen Choice Awards. Wow. I suddenly don't fear the future anymore. It's going to be okay! [The Blemish]
Jun 30 2009Khloe Kardashian gets Kim drunk
- Kim Kardashian got trashed at Khloe's 25th birthday and somehow a sex tape didn't emerge. I'm as shocked as you are. [Khloe Kardashian]
- Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick want you to look at the new babies they bought. Or as I like to call them the "Sorry I Cheated on You, Horseface" Twins. [Lainey Gossip]
- Nicky Hilton enjoys laughing at the misfortune of others. That's for the two people who actually think there's a good Hilton sister. I'll let you guess who they are. [The Blemish]
- Vanessa Minnillo rebounds with Topher Grace. How sad must be it for Nick Lachey to learn the villain from the shitty Spider-man movie obviously has more money than him? [Celebslam]
- Kelly Brook's boyfriend wore a Michael Jackson T-shirt today which means he's gay and she should start having unprotected sex with me. Hey, you can't argue with science. [Just Jared]
- Zac Efron wears a life preserver on a short boat trip. Somebody get this kid a towel. For his vagina. [PopSugar]
- Chace Crawford has a new haircut! And yet somehow this doesn't trump the non-stop media coverage of Michael Jackson's death. Is there no justice?! [ICYDK]
Jun 17 2009Anna Paquin should do bad things to me
- Robert Pattinson is straight, everyone. He was just joking/trying to make every teenage girl with the Internet kill herself so he can go to Starbucks without getting gang-raped. [ICYDK]
- Taylor Swift is our nation's greatest country singer. Why the hell are we not related? [Lainey Gossip]
- Ryan Reynolds thinks his abs are so great. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Eva Mendes could sell me cock-shrinking pills at an orgy. [Just Jared]
- Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt probably made a sex tape, and don't pretend 99.5% of us won't watch it. [Celebslam]
- Chace Crawford is People's Hottest Bachelor because he stars in Gossip Girls which is owned by Time-Warner just like People. I went there. [PopSugar]
Dec 10 2008Angelina Jolie trying to have more twins (And something about strippers)
Other happenings in the world:
- Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are trying "really hard" to have another set of twins. Someone needs to stop letting these two watch TLC before you can't get the paper without tripping over their kids. Dammit, Maddox, my azaleas! [Star]
- Jessica Biel plays a stripper in an upcoming movie. Like blurry pictures of non-naked strippers? Welcome to Boner-town. [The Sun]
- DMX arrested in Miami for skipping court appearance. How do I put this delicately? They have Burger Kings in Canada. Just sayin'. [AP]
- Chace Crawford reportedly dating Taylor Momsen which fulfills his contractual obligation to bang a Gossip Girl co-star and make sure it ends up in the tabloids. Because, really, who doesn't love forced irony? [Page Six]
Continue Reading "Angelina Jolie trying to have more twins (And something about strippers)"
