May 31 2009Levi Johnston poses shirtless for GQ
Here's Levi Johnston, the kid who knocked up Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol just in time for her vice-presidential nomination, posing shirtless for GQ with baby Tripp. While the article was an interesting read, I don't know what to make of these photos except I'm pretty sure allowing your infant son to appear naked in a widely-circulated men's magazine probably won't ease the Palin's visitation restrictions. Then again, he did pose with a gun, so we'll call this one a wash.
May 7 2009Hayden Panettiere & Bristol Palin battle teen pregnancy
Hayden Panettiere and Bristol Palin joined forces on Wednesday for National Teen Pregnancy Awareness Day in NYC sponsored by The Candies Foundation. It was an unlikely matchup considering Hayden campaigned for Obama while Bristol's uterus sunk her mother's entire political career. Us Magazine reports:
"It's very nice that she's come out to support this, and it's nice to have her," Panettiere said. "Teenagers get to look at her, and she can say, 'This happened to me.' This is all politics aside. She is just a girl out here saying, 'Look, it happened to me -- it can happen to you.'"
Although Panettiere didn't promote abstinence, she said she believes teens should be responsible.
"There's a lot of different viewpoints on sex, and I'm not someone who will ever boo-hoo anything or say, 'This is not right,' or, 'This is wrong,'" she said. "You're going to do what you're going to do, but at the end of the day, it's okay as long as you educate yourself, as long as you're safe, as long as you're smart."
You know what would unite this country? If Bristol picked up Hayden and carried her in a Baby Bjorn. Now that's a photo op you can believe in. Also, anyone who's about to suggest some sort of breast-feeding transpire, stop reading my mind loving America so much.
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May 6 2009Rihanna flees to the east coast
- Rihanna hunts for apartments in New York while Chris Brown hunts for a new woman. Literally. He's got a tranq gun. [ICYDK]
- George Clooney was apparently America's handsomest baby. At least that's what all seven nurses in the delivery room said after the sex. [PopSugar]
- Miss California might be stripped of her title for making unauthorized appearances campaigning against gay marriage and posing nude while underage. For those keeping score at home, add "jaiblait porn" to the list of things Jesus approves of besides gay marriage. [Best Week Ever]
- Bristol Palin says she's for abstinence now after becoming The Candies Foundation Teen Ambassador. Still got that Jesus list out? Add "marketing sexy perfume to young girls" and "blatant hypocrisy." I'm thinking somewhere between "blatant hypocrisy" and "fake tits." [Jezebel]
- Natalie Portman gets interviewed by Zach Galifianakis. In related news, I don't smoke near enough weed. [Allie is Wired]
- Nicole Kidman's Schweppe's commercial doesn't really sell soft drinks as much as it encourages teaching young Indian girls to cocktease strange men. Fun Fact: I'm not joking. [Videogum]
Apr 3 2009Levi Johnston: 'Sarah Palin knew Bristol and I were having sex'
- Levi Johnston tells Tyra Banks Sarah Palin "probably knew" he was having sex with Bristol because they shared a room. Wow. Have you actually spent time with this woman? Because you'd know she thought you were just praying. Or loading an assault rifle. Either one. [Just Jared]
- Britney Spears' stop at a Dallas nightclub ends with employees being threatened if they talk to the press. Great, now we'll never know how many people her vagina killed. But I'm guessing eight. [Radar Online]
- Zach Braff and Dax Shepard are now virtually interchangeable. Who didn't see that coming? Including the blind. [Best Week Ever]
- Ben Affleck taught his daughter Violet how to swear in German. Yeah, well, Britney Spears lets her kids use the car to pick up smokes. Try again, Daredevil. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Hugh Jackman's quasi-visible ass in Wolverine. Now I'm really excited to see this movie! I mean, a guy I know is. The, uh, Writerficial Super. Yeah, him. [Pink is the New Blog]
Feb 17 2009Bristol Palin shoots down abstinence-only education
Bristol Palin, everyone's favorite unwed teenage mom (Jamie Lynn who?), sat down with FOX News last night and dropped two major bombs. Governor Palin's daughter made Rupert Murdoch's head explode by saying sexual abstinence is unrealistic and that every woman should have the right to choose. NY Daily News reports:
Stopping teen sex? Ain't gonna happen.
So says Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's 18-year-old daughter, Bristol, who told Fox News' Greta Van Susteren Monday night that the abstinence her mom preaches is "not realistic at all."
Bristol Palin, who gave birth in late December, described the rigors of being a teen mom, and while she wouldn't go into detail why it isn't realistic for guys and gals her age not to have sex, she did say it isn't smart to get knocked up.
"Everyone should wait 10 years," Palin said. "I hope people learn from my story. It's so much easier if you're married, have a house and career. It's not a situation you want to strive for."
She denied that her mother's anti-abortion views were the reason she went ahead with the pregnancy.
"It was my choice to have the baby," she said. "It doesn't matter what my mom's views are on it. It was my decision."
Jesus. Giving an interview with logical, effectively communicated answers? At this point Bristol Palin might as well have peed on the Bible then joined PETA because she's out of the family. They're probably dog-sledding her out to an igloo as we speak. Facts based on real-world scenarios. Ha! Adorable.
Dec 30 2008Sarah Palin's daughter gives birth
Sarah Palin's unwed teenage daughter Bristol Palin gave birth to a baby boy Saturday, according to People:
"We think it's wonderful," said Colleen Jones, the sister of Bristol's grandmother Sally Heath, who confirmed the news. "The baby is fine and Bristol is doing well. Everyone is excited."
The baby's name is Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston and he was born at 5:30 a.m., according to Jones.
Tripp? Seriously? I don't get why Bristol's being subtle. She might as well name her son "Hey, mom, I smoke my face off and have unprotected sex with my redneck boyfriend every time you're at church." I mean, it's Sarah Palin we're talking about here. She's just gonna call the kid a "Maverick" then give him a handgun to play with. "Aw, is there anything more adorable? *BAM* That dog was getting old anyway. *BAM* Hey, it's not like I can't remarry. *BAM* Oh, boy, I get to meet Jesus!"
