Sep 16 2009Megan Fox is f-cking batshit in Rolling Stone
Megan Fox covers the October 1, 2009 issue of Rolling Stone where she reveals she's pretty much a ticking time-bomb of crazy that's going to shoot Brian Austin Green in the leg. Not even joking:
On cutting herself:
"Yeah, but I don't want to elaborate. I would never call myself a cutter. Girls go through different phases when they're growing up, when they're miserable and do different things, whether it's an eating disorder or they dabble in cutting."
On if she had an eating disorder:
"If I did talk about it, I'd be taking on a role-model status, and I'd have to choose my words very carefully, and I'd have to make sure I reveal it in a specific way, and I don't want to do it."
On her insecurities:
"I'm really insecure about everything. Self-loathing doesn't keep me from being happy. But that doesn't mean I don't struggle. I am very vulnerable. But I can be aggressive, hurtful, domineering and selfish, too. I'm emotionally unpredictable and all over the place. I'm a control freak."
On how she's going to eventually murder Brian Austin Green:
"I've had to say to Brian, 'You have to go and stop talking to me, because I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you with something. Please leave. I'd never own a gun for that reason. I wouldn't shoot to kill. But I would shoot him in the leg, for sure."
I love how Megan Fox admits she'd randomly shoot Brian Austin Green in the leg for no reason, and yet he still sticks around to have sex with her. He's basically banging a landmine with awesome breasts which, let's be honest, kicks way more ass than dying of something stupid like cancer. Or old age. That's for chumps.
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Jul 27 2009Scarlett Johansson at Comic-Con and other news
- Chris Brown and Rihanna might have had a secret rendezvous. Choo choo! Hear that? That was the sympathy train leaving the station and running over Rihanna's face because Chris Brown's driving. [Celebslam]
- Gwyneth Paltrow was noticeably absent from the Iron Man 2 panel at Comic-Con. What? Fanboys love cornish hen recipes and whimsical talk of Spain, too. [Lainey Gossip]
- Mischa Barton has been discharged and is ready to start production on The Beautiful Life proving that even crazy people can find work before Lindsay Lohan. [PopEater]
- Avril Lavigne is a role model. I'm actually serious about that. [The Blemish]
- Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are still having sex which proves my theory: Brian Austin Green's brother is a magic genie. I knew it! [Just Jared]
- Leonardo DiCaprio banged one of those chicks from the Pussycat Dolls. You know those bad 80s movies where two people switch places? That should happen with Leo and me. I'll bring the Indian skull. [PopSugar]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Scarlett Johansson After the Jump
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Jul 14 2009Channing Tatum in GQ and other news
- Tony Romo ditched Jessica Simpson because John Mayer was still texting her. Unless John Mayer was slicing off Tony's hands before they touched Jessica breasts, he might have overreacted a bit. [Lainey Gossip]
- Megan Fox is pursuing Rain while using Brian Austin Green's penis as a safety net which, let's be honest, is probably the best his life will ever get. I'd start setting up hidden cameras, Brian. You'll thank me later. [The Blemish]
- Jeremy Piven is still trying to bang Hayden Panettiere. Has he tried trapping her under a thimble? I hear that's effective. [Celebslam]
- Jessica Alba apparently still gets followed by the paparazzi. Your guess is as good as mine. [PopSugar]
- Robert Pattinson in a suit. Now, remember, ladies, don't bring your laptop in the tub. Unless I'm there to supervise. [Just Jared]
- Daniel Radcliffe thinks it's cool that people think he's gay. Especially women. But mostly so they'll change in front of him allowing him to drop the classic line "Shazam! Harry Potter loves boobies now!" Oh, man, talk about good times. Until the cops show up. [ICYDK]
Jun 24 2009Megan Fox & Brian Austin Green are still f-cking
Now that Transformers had its premiere stateside, Megan Fox can stop pretending she isn't having sex with Brian Austin Green. Here's the two of them getting coffee yesterday morning, and I'm pretty sure I'd be grinning like a fool, too, if I was in this bastard's shoes. How he's not spiking a football and ordering a cup of "Fuck yeah, I banged Megan Fox!" is beyond me. Whatever happened to chivalry, dammit?
Scope Out (12) Pics of Megan After the Jump
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Jun 19 2009Megan Fox must make Brian Austin Green feel awesome
Considering she just told the entire world she's single this week, Megan Fox obviously didn't want to be photographed going to dinner with Brian Austin Green last night. You'd think he'd be offended, but then again he gets to have sex with Megan Fox and probably wouldn't give a shit if she wore a beekeeper's outfit and yelled "Brian Austin Green touches kids" the entire meal. Or is that just me?
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Mar 9 2009Megan Fox & Brian Austin Green: Who the hell knows?
Despite calling off their engagement, Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green have still found time to have sleepovers and meet each for lunch like in these pics taken yesterday. Judging by Brian's face, things didn't go as he planned because that's definitely the look of a man who's got some masturbating in his future. And trust me, I know that look all too well; I roomed with Paul Reubens.
Fun Fact: The secret word was always "KNOCK!"
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Feb 24 2009Megan Fox is single
Because I enjoy a good story filled with hope, Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green have broken up, according to Us Magazine:
"The relationship had run its course," an insider tells Us exclusively. "It's completely amicable, and they are remaining friends."
Fox, 22 (who'll reprise her role as Mikaela in this June's sequel Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen), and Green, 35 (a regular on Fox's Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles), now "are both focusing on their careers," the source adds.
Of course, we've all heard this fairy tale before which is why I'm not buying it until Megan Fox makes out with me in a helicopter. Hey, I didn't spend nine years getting a bachelor's in journalism for nothing. Now, get me one of those hats that say "Press" on it. We're doing this one by the book.
Feb 3 2009Megan Fox still with Brian Austin Green - and his kid
Somehow I missed these shots of Megan Fox shopping at Office Depot with Brian Austin Green and his son Kassius over the weekend. Which has to be all kinds of awkward.
KASSIUS: Aren't you that hot chick from Transformers?
MEGAN: Yup.
KASSIUS: Then why are you with my dad?
MEGAN: Huh. I never saw it like that before. Thanks, kid! *dives out window*
BRIAN: Hey, everybody, look who's got pizza. *sees empty chair* WHAT DID YOU DO?!
KASSIUS: I asked if she was in Transformers.
BRIAN: Dude, NO! We went over this. Man, I hope that homing beacon still works. Get in the car.
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