Apr 22 2009Beyonce doesn't sound like her songs? I'm shocked.
- Beyonce's real singing voice or that time I thought my cat was a beautiful woman? I mean, not that you're not, Whiskers. Who's a good girl? [Jezebel] UPDATE: TMZ confirms it's a hoax.
- Michael Phelps is apparently dating Miss California Carrie Prejean. Because there's something to be said about vigorous dry-humping after reading the Bible. But not really. [Allie is Wired]
- Nicollete Sheridan gets killed off Desperate Housewives, and nobody watches. Except a tearful Michael Bolton. "Tell me how am I supposed to live without you... Oh, wait. I'm rich. To the Whores Room!" [Vulture]
- Paris Hilton allowed near African royalty. Christ, haven't these people suffered enough? This is probably a good time for our president to say "Aw, hellll no." [PopSugar]
- Billy Bob Thornton thinks you're a "humpback geek" for noticing when he acts like an asshole in international news. -- But still think he's cool, alright? Please? He'll say the "French fried potater" line. [Videogum]
- Bo Bice gets his own trading card. Yes, Virginia, there is a Satan. And he loves American Idol. [Best Week Ever]
Continue Reading "Beyonce doesn't sound like her songs? I'm shocked."
Apr 13 2009Billy Bob Thornton cancels Canadian tour
After his pissy interview with CBC radio last week, Billy Bob Thornton learned a valuable lesson about Canada: Don't fuck with it. The AP reports:
Billy Bob Thornton's band has canceled the rest of its Canadian tour after the actor compared the country's fans to mashed potatoes with no gravy in a testy interview that caused a sensation online.
The Boxmasters opened for Willie Nelson on Thursday in Toronto, where they reportedly were booed and met with catcalls of "Here comes the gravy."
A note posted on Nelson's Web site Friday said the Boxmasters were canceling the rest of their Canadian dates "due to one band member and several of the crew having the flu."
Flu, huh? That must be the medical term for Billy Bob Thornton's vagina.
Apr 10 2009Tina Fey out-earned Britney Spears in 2008
- Tina Fey made twice as much money as Britney last year. Holy shit, there is a God! Who fucking knew? -- I should probably stop swearing like an asshole. [PopSugar]
- Robert Pattinson films the sequel to that movie with the vampires in Vancouver. This time, he's going to brood your face off! [Lainey Gossip]
- Vince Shlomi crime scene photos to put you in the true Easter spirit. Is that a colorful egg? Nope, just a condom. Whee! [Celebslam]
- Billy Bob Thornton's asshole extravaganza interview gets parodied by Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter. [Videogum]
- Snoop Dogg has started streaming live video of himself smoking up in the middle of the afternoon. This officially makes his day ten times more productive than mine. Then again, I did eat a Pop Tart. I win! [Vulture]
Continue Reading "Tina Fey out-earned Britney Spears in 2008"
Apr 9 2009Billy Bob Thornton thinks he's Tom Petty
Like a two-year-old who didn't get a Happy Meal, Billy Bob Thornton pouted his way through an interview yesterday on Canadian public radio where he was promoting his band The Boxmasters. The host Jian Ghomeshi apparently made the mistake of introducing Billy Bob as an actor when THE ACTOR only wanted to be introduced as a musician. He became an immediate joy after that. The AP reports:
When the host, Jian Ghomeshi, asked Thornton when the band formed, Thornton said "I don't know what you're talking about."
Thornton mostly gave monosyllabic answers and took offense at questions about his influences. Said the actor: "Would you ask Tom Petty that?"
You gotta love the balls on Billy Bob Thornton. I mean, he actually thinks anyone would care about his band if he wasn't the guy from Mr. Woodock or The Astronaut Farmer. -- Okay, I'm starting to see why he wanted to keep that on the down low...
Oct 16 2008Tea Leoni & Billy Bob Thornton? WTF?
Get this: Turns out David Duchnovny's "sex addiction" (Read: He has a penis.) was not the cause of his separation from Tea Leoni, but instead she was having an affair with Billy Bob Fucking Thornton. How does this guy keep getting chicks? Anyway, Mulder supposedly found text messages between Tea and Billy Bob causing things to go South, according to the Daily Mail:
Through the texts Duchovny found out she had begun a relationship with Oscar-winning actor Billy Bob Thornton, 53, who was formerly married to Angelina Jolie.
Thornton, a musician with his own band, has been seen with Téa at his gigs.
'She even helps him load and unload his truck,' says a friend of the couple.
She hauls his instruments for him. So that's how Billy Bob does it. Here I've been taking chicks to fancy dinners like an idiot when I should've been treating them like a roadie. Excuse me, I need to tell my date we're bailing on Olive Garden tonight, and that she better know how to work a soundboard.
UPDATE: She told me to "eat a dick." So, ladies, should I take that as "Yes, you're getting laid tonight." or "Perhaps at a later date?" If it helps with the decryption, she also tried to pepper spray me through the phone.
Thanks to Kristen whose physical prowess suggests she can haul some amps like a mofo.
