Jul 8 2009James Franco knows how to give a speech
- George Clooney and Bill Murray party together? If there was ever a time to be a stripper, it's now, ladies. Ha, just kidding. It's always time to be a stripper. Now who wants dollar bills? [Lainey Gossip]
- Elizabeth Taylor might have aided Michael Jackson's prescription drug addictions. Probably by showing him her vagina and giving him chronic night terrors. So that's how he turned white... [PopEater]
- Kevin Federline has gained 85 pounds since his divorce from Britney Spears and even she's making fun of his weight which is almost hilarious if it weren't immediate grounds for suicide. No, seriously, Kevin, I don't care if you have to cover the gun in chocolate. It's time. [Celebslam]
- Kiefer Sutherland once encouraged a friend to keep acting. By punching him in the face. I don't care how much it costs, we need to get this man a tank, a missile silo full of Old Granddad and let him solve all the world's problem. Preferably before he drives drunk off a bridge, so time's a factor. [The Blemish]
- Cameron Diaz might be in that Green Hornet movie with Seth Rogen. Finally, a leading lady I can believe he has a chance with. With only half a bottle of roofies. [Just Jared]
- Mariah Carey apologizes for her performance at Michael Jackson's memorial. Too late now, Mariah. The man will only die once. -- Or will he? [ICYDK]
- Lindsay Lohan is going to be a celebrity judge on Project Runway? Okay, sure. Because when I think of fashion, I think of an anorexic coke addict who constantly wears black leggings. You can't teach that kind of style. Without becoming an alcoholic at 15. True story. [PopSugar]
Jun 26 2008Bill Murray's divorce quickly finalized
Bill Murray has quietly settled his divorce to wife Jennifer Butler Murray who accused him last month of domestic abuse, abandonment and drug addiction. She had argued his actions made their prenuptial invalid, but it did remain intact. Except that became a moot point because Jennifer was given three houses and custody of the children in the speedy settlement. I'm no legal expert, but I'm pretty sure she just dominated Bill's shit. People reports:
Butler Murray, 42, has been granted primary custody of their four children and will keep the couple's homes in Hemet, Calif. and Sullivan's Island, S.C. Bill Murray, 57, must pay child support and will keep other property in California, New York and Massachusetts.
Bill Murray must also pay Jennifer a lump sum. The Murrays signed a prenuptial agreement in which Bill would pay his wife $7 million in a divorce, and, according to court documents, it is still valid.
Bill Murray's lawyers had no statement on the settlement. Though I'm sure Bill probably wrote one that said: "Leave me alone to my scotch, hookers and random bottles of assorted pills I stole from a nursing home. Also, buy Ghostbuster DVDs. Lots of them. I can't even afford to go into Starbucks. I'm typing on my MacBook Air, stealing Wi-Fi from behind a dumpster out back. I am fucking POOR, MATEYS. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" On a related note, he is taking blogging lessons from Kanye West at L'Acadamie de Douche.
May 29 2008UPDATE: Bill Murray beats his wife
Bill Murray's wife of more than 10 years, Jennifer Murray, filed a complaint in court against the actor. She alleges he physically assaulted her and suffers from severe drug and alcohol addictions. She's citing the complaint as grounds for divorce and is also seeking to have their prenuptial agreement nullified because of Bill's abusive behavior. The Charleston Post and Courier reports:
According to the complaint, Jennifer Murray moved into a Sullivan's Island home in 2006 with the couple's four children due to her husband's "adultery, addiction to marijuana and alcohol, abusive behavior, physical abuse, sexual addictions and frequent abandonment."
Jennifer also provided details of the times Bill assaulted her, including an incident where he allegedly hit her in the face and then told her she was lucky he didn't kill her:
It was at the Sullivan's Island home, according to the complaint, that Murray allegedly abused his wife in November 2007. The six-page court filing says Murray "hit his wife in the face and then told her she was 'lucky he didn't kill her.' "
It's always awesome when jackass celebrity wife-beaters suddenly think they're nefarious super-villains: "Yeah, see, I could kill you and get away with it. So wise up, yeah." Let's take a moment to thank O.J. for this advance in domestic abuse. And by thank I mean hope he gets herpes. In the meantime, how big of an A-hole is Bill Murray? Assuming any of this turns out to be true, I'm leaning towards colossal.
UPDATE: TMZ has a statement from Bill Murray's lawyer: "Bill Murray is deeply saddened by the dissolution of his marriage to Jennifer. Mr. and Mrs. Murray remain loving parents, committed to the best interests of their children. Mr. Murray asks that the public respect his family's privacy at this difficult time." I'm not a lawyer, but shouldn't they have denied the allegations?
Aug 23 2007Bill Murray arrested for golf cart DUI
Bill Murray was stopped by Swedish police yesterday for drunkenly driving his golf cart back to his hotel. Reuters reports:
Murray was brought to Norrmalm police station, in the north of the city, and given a blood test for alcohol after he refused to take a breath test, said station commander Jan-Olov Lundgren. The American had been stopped while driving the golf cart from Cafe Opera, an upscale restaurant in the center of town, back to his hotel.
A golf cart is one of two vehicles you should be allowed to drive drunk. The thing goes three feet a minute. If you hit somebody with one, they pretty much deserved it for having the reflexes of a tuna sandwich. What’s the other vehicle I think you should be allowed to drive drunk? A speeder-bike from Return of the Jedi. I can’t go into the details due to pending litigation, but it basically involves myself, an Ewok and a Mai-tai the size of a dishwasher.
