Aug 20 2008Jessica Simpson & Beer: It's like someone read my Christmas List - then added Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson and beer commercials: Why hasn't this happened sooner? Jessica, in her first logical career move ever, is going to be the face of new Dallas' Stampede Light Plus, according to the Dallas Morning News:
"She's the face of the brand now," said Lawrence Schwartz, Stampede's president and chief executive, who says sales have more than doubled in the past year.
Stampede's marketing is focused on its vitamin content, which it describes as "functional additives."
"As an entrepreneur, I am always looking for ways to diversify my portfolio with good ideas and good people," Ms. Simpson said in a statement. "Yes, I work out and take care of myself, but I also like a cold beer once in a while."
Vitamin powered beer?! I had to check this insanity out for myself so I hopped over to Stampede Light's website and holy shit. Apparently, it's the healthy beer for go-getters who hate elevators but love recycling - which I always thought was illegal in Texas. Who knew? That said, somebody get five cases STAT. I'm dangerously low on riboflavin.
UPDATE: Not only am I deliciously full of energy to tackle the day, but I just shit on my desk! Thanks, Stampede Light!
Mar 17 2008Happy St. Patrick's Day, drunkies!
Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody! Be safe out there and try not to drink too much because I need you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to give me site traffic in the morning. See? I care. Now to continue celebrating this momentous day. I already started this morning by pouring Guinness on me Lucky Charms. And also me cereal. Hi-yo! Drink responsibly, folks, and remember, stealing a cop's horse is technically not a form of designated driving. No matter how many carrots you feed it at the strip club which, seriously, I still don't get.
NOTE:: The above photo is Pete Doherty. To anyone who thinks it's actually me, wow, I've never been so insulted in my life. Even that one time I made love to a woman and she laughed afterwards then called me Two Seconds McTinyBalls III.
