Aug 5 2009Leonardo DiCaprio shirtless and other news
- Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are engaged. Because what better way to learn how to suck the life out of someone than getting married? Method acting: Aww yeah! [Lainey Gossip]
- Joan Rivers zings Jon Gosselin. [PopEater]
- John Mayer and Jessica Simpson are most likely having empty, yet still awesome, sex again. [Celebslam]
- Brad Pitt used to bang Juliette Lewis - and drugs were involved. Phew. That makes sense. [The Blemish]
- Sienna Miller apologizes for sleeping with Balthazar Getty and claims she's not a "shagger." Oh yeah? Your G.I. Joe action figure says differently. What's that, tiny Baroness? You need a bigger man?! It's Lion-O isn't it? I'll never love again! *runs away crying* [PopSugar]
- Paris Hilton scored a guest spot on the CW's Supernatural. Ironically, she'll play a ghost who keeps coming back no matter how much penicillin you take. Good casting. [Just Jared]
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Jul 22 2009Bar Refaeli in lingerie and other news
- Lindsay Lohan might appear on I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Outta Here! Or as like to call it, Hollywood Squares... In the Jungle. [Celebslam]
- Tori Spelling co-hosted Today this morning because God wanted everyone to have a shitty Wednesday. No really. He Twittered me. [Lainey Gossip]
- The Taco Bell Chihuahua has passed on. Wait. Then who the fuck is Paris Hilton carrying around? Hey, everybody, stop covering Paris. It's not the Taco Bell dog! [PopEater]
- Sienna Miller does NOT like talking about Balthazar Getty. [Just Jared]
- LeBron James getting dunked on by a 20-year-old Xavier student. This is exactly why I tell people the X-Men shouldn't play basketball. But no one listens. [The Blemish]
- Leonardo DiCaprio is already done with Cameron Diaz. Hey, sometimes you have to try something once to know that it gives your penis night terrors. Words to live by. [PopSugar]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Bar After the Jump
Jun 22 2009Lady Gaga understands showmanship
- Jessica Simpson's new reality show gets the green light. Because it's been far too long since America was reminded why she's our dumbest, breastiest treasure. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal wear matching outfits. Wow, and I seriously thought Perez Hilton would be the gayest thing I wrote about all day. [Lainey Gossip]
- Paris Hilton does more damage to aquatic life than the Exxon Valdez. [The Blemish]
- Cameron Diaz just now gets one of those Hollywood Star dealies. Guess they wanted to wait for just before the hot ran out. [Just Jared]
- Lindsay Lohan spends her weekend crying outside Samantha Ronson's house. Let's be frank, she's homeless, isn't she? [Celebslam]
- Sienna Miller is back with Balthazar Getty which means he must've remarried already. Damn, that was fast. [PopSugar]
Nov 9 2008Sienna Miller likes 'em married
Sienna Miller is done with Brothers and Sisters star Balthazar Getty, according to Us Magazine:
"I'm single at the moment, and I'm completely happy with that," she said Friday at the Hollywood Dominoes: VIP Launch in London. "It's nice not to have a relationship that the press constantly want to scrutinize and discuss. I'm cool with being on my own."
The two made headlines when Sienna was spotted topless on a boat with Balthazar who was believe to be married at the time. He later announced he was separated from his wife - which was probably the same moment Sienna Miller decided "Hey, you know what? Let's just be friends." Then asked if his brother was still married.
Jul 24 2008Sienna Miller suing UK papers over topless photos
Sienna Miller was basically labeled a homewrecker after topless photos of her on vacation with Balthazar Getty emerged. It also didn't help that Balthazar waited a week to announce he was separated from his wife at the time. So, Sienna is looking to cash in on the situation by suing The Sun, News of the World and Big Pictures for invasion of privacy, according to The Guardian:
It is believed that the writ relates to two articles that appeared in the Sun where Big Pictures contributed photos. The stories and pictures reported on Miller's holiday in Italy and also referred to her friendship with Balthazar Getty, heir to the Getty oil fortune.
For the record, this kind of celebrity legal shenanigans is only kosher in Europe. Thankfully, here in the U.S., we understand the importance of seeing famous body parts.* Future historians will look back on our culture and revere Britney Spears' vagina as if it were the Declaration of Independence. Damn, somebody should print some of my posts and bury them in a time capsule. People in the future should see how freaking advanced I was. Then they'll build a moon statute in my honor which, for accuracy's sake, should include me uppercutting a tank.
*Editor's Note: The Superficial Writer, who is not a lawyer and simply hunts ambulances for sport, is making a broad, possibly inaccurate statement about privacy litigation. His assumptions are, legally speaking, derived solely from the anus.
Jul 22 2008Balthazar Getty: 'Oh, hey, my wife and I separated. Did I not mention that?'
After photos of him and a topless Sienna Miller emerged, actor Balthazar Getty decided to wait a full week to announce he and his wife have been separated. Maybe he digs the asshole vibe, I dunno. Here's the statement Balthazar issued to the press via Us Magazine:
"The breakdown of a marriage is a very difficult and painful experience especially when children are involved," Getty wrote. "In light of the fact that many pictures have surfaced in print and on the Internet which has caused myself and my family great embarrassment, I felt it necessary to at least acknowledge publicly that yes indeed my wife and I have separated and I will not be commenting any further."
What's so difficult about telling your children that Mommy keeps a cold wedding bed? My dad told me all the time. Sure, I was only two, but I'd throw my blocks at the oven to let him know I knew where he was coming from. I turned out just fine. *whips mouse at intern* Sorry your boyfriend left you!
Jul 15 2008Sienna Miller hangs out topless with married actor
These are the much ballyhooed photos of Sienna Miller hanging out topless in Portofino, Italy with married actor Balthazar Getty of ABC's Brothers and Sisters. The dude has been denying in the press that he's involved with Sienna, but just in case, his wife is flying to Italy to sort things out, according to NY Daily News. I hope she likes nipples.
NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that, for some reason, make me see Gilligan's Island in a whole new light.
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