Jul 27 2009Scarlett Johansson at Comic-Con and other news
- Chris Brown and Rihanna might have had a secret rendezvous. Choo choo! Hear that? That was the sympathy train leaving the station and running over Rihanna's face because Chris Brown's driving. [Celebslam]
- Gwyneth Paltrow was noticeably absent from the Iron Man 2 panel at Comic-Con. What? Fanboys love cornish hen recipes and whimsical talk of Spain, too. [Lainey Gossip]
- Mischa Barton has been discharged and is ready to start production on The Beautiful Life proving that even crazy people can find work before Lindsay Lohan. [PopEater]
- Avril Lavigne is a role model. I'm actually serious about that. [The Blemish]
- Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are still having sex which proves my theory: Brian Austin Green's brother is a magic genie. I knew it! [Just Jared]
- Leonardo DiCaprio banged one of those chicks from the Pussycat Dolls. You know those bad 80s movies where two people switch places? That should happen with Leo and me. I'll bring the Indian skull. [PopSugar]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Scarlett Johansson After the Jump
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Aug 19 2008Avril Lavigne 'too sexy' to perform in Malaysia?
Somebody thinks Avril Lavigne is not only sexy, but "too sexy." Really? Vampire Girl? She was set to perform in Malaysia but officials for the country think Avril's sugary pop music is a bad influence, according to OK! Magazine:
“It is not timely. It's not in the good spirit of our National Day. If we go ahead with the concert, it is contrary to what we are preparing for,” said Shukran Ibrahim, a senior official from the ministry.
“We don't want our people, our teenagers, influenced by their performance. We want clean artists, artists that are good role models,” said Kamarulzaman Mohamed, a party youth official.
Has anyone ever seen an Avril Lavigne concert? It's pretty much the equivalent of watching somebody have a seizure - but with lasers, and it cost you a hundred bucks. Whee.
Mar 25 2008Ashton Kutcher isn't fooling magazine editors
Ashton Kutcher's new show Pop Fiction has "celebrities" pulling pranks on the media. Paris Hilton pretended to be spiritual with a monk and Avril Lavigne wore a fake belly. However tabloid editors aren't buying it and see right through the shenanigans of this assclownius supremus. Here's some quotes from NY Daily News:
"There's nothing these people do that we don't know about before they get there. We know everything. Ninety percent of their lives are put together by other people. It's almost like these celebs have LoJack. It's easy to track them. "
Star mag ran a picture of Paris and her "guru," but reported that it was a stunt. "We never took it seriously," Star editor in chief Candace Trunzo tells us. "After a while, you learn what smells." Kutcher's crusade for truth won't affect Star's coverage of Kutcher and his wife, Demi Moore, Trunzo says. "He's only semi-interesting," she says. "He doesn't sell a lot of mags."
"It's a typical conceited celebrity," says a mag insider. "Live a life, man. Grow up. Go act. If a celeb has a full week, then they have way too much time on their hands."
"Go act." Ashton Kutcher - acting! LMFAO! That's goddamn hilarious. Seriously, how do you follow that? My hat's off to you, sir. *dead rabbit falls out* Captain Wigglenose?
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Nov 2 2007Avril Lavigne is award-winning filler
Avril Lavigne attended the MTV Europe Music Awards 2007 last night in Germany. Apparently Europeans really dig her because she knocked out Justin Timberlake in the top two categories. Not only did her song “Girlfriend” win Most Addictive Track, but Avril walked away with the coveted award for Solo Artist of 2007. It’s been a while since she’s been on the site, so I thought, why not? She looks cute as a button. It’s almost like I could pick her up, put her in my pocket and take her home. Sure, she’s been hanging out with Britney Spears, but it's cool. I’ll just dip little Avril in a thimble full of bleach. Safety first!
Sep 7 2007Avril Lavigne is an amazing human being
If you can read Avril Lavigne's latest interview with Q Magazine without wanting to head butt your monitor then you're a stronger person than I am. Because I read this thing and all I wanted to do was start head butting monitors.
On dealing with her incredible success
"Selling 24 million albums hasn't really affected me, but it has changed things. I can't walk into a room full of people any more without everybody turning their heads, and I can only eat in certain restaurants where I know I won't get hassled. But that's OK. I was born to do this, and so I've learned how to cope."
On her competition
"Someone like Kelly Clarkson is beautiful and has a pretty voice, but with me you get a much stronger image. I'm tough, I have a look that girls want to copy, and I sound a particular way. It's good if you're not easily ignored. And I'm not."
On her generosity
"I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, 'Take it to Katrina!' I also like to give stuff to people who are my 'workers,' especially if they don't make much money."
On her polarizing personality
"People love me and people hate me, but I'm comfortable in my own skin and that's what counts. And anyway if you do hate me, you're the loser, not me."
Wow, what an amazing person. When that "hurricane thing" happened Avril filled boxes with crap and told her assistant to "take it to Katrina." The name of a hurricane. And she also likes to give stuff to her employees who don't make much money. I hear they were going to give her a humanitarian award but she was disqualified because they said it wasn't fair to the other nominees. Sometimes I get her confused with that Jesus character from the Bible because they're so similar.
Aug 3 2007Avril Lavigne shows off her boobs
It's too bad she's so annoying, because from certain angles Avril Lavigne might actually be considered hot. She was spotted with a friend running around Los Angeles showing off her pink bikini underneath her top. And maybe I was always too busy envisioning how I'd karate kick her in the throat, but where the hell did those boobs come from? They almost make her bearable. I did a scientific study and discovered that the number one key to being less annoying is to have big boobs. And you can't argue with science. I used test tubes and everything.
Jul 5 2007Avril Lavigne is a thief
Avril Laviigne is being sued by The Rubinoos who claim her song "Girlfriend" was stolen from their song "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend." The CEO of Nettwerk Music Group dismissed the suit, calling it baseless and a "case of legal blackmail." The CEO says:
“Avril's a great songwriter and she's proving it over and over and over again ... Avril's very, very sensible. She knows music well. If the chords had been similar, the melodies had been similar, lyrics had been similar, the meter, she would have gone, ‘Okay, I can see their point.' But nothing's similar.”
The record company may end up settling the suit anyways, since it might cost them even more to successfully defend. Although this isn't the first time Avril has been accused of stealing. Last month, singer Chantal Kreviazuk accused Avril of stealing a song title. Additionally, the writer of "Sk8er Boi" says Lavigne shouldn't be listed on the credits since all she did was "change a word here or there." You can listen to the comparison above and judge for yourself. Personally, I think Avril Lavigne is a clown so in my book she's pretty much guilty of everything. Stealing songs? Guilty! Being a man? Guilty! Murdering Jesus? Guilty!
Jun 19 2007Evangeline Lilly tries to look angry
Evangeline Lilly, who plays Kate on Lost, was spotted at Vancouver Airport giving the finger to the paparazzi. Although for some reason it's way less annoying than when Britney Spears or Avril Lavigne do it. Probably because she's so adorable. It's like a puppy trying to bite you with its tiny little mouth. You just want to shake you head side to side and go, "Who's a little princess? You are! You are!"
