Apr 25 2008Wesley Snipes gets 3 years in prison

Wesley Snipes pretty much decided in 1999 that he's not going to pay taxes anymore. Considering he was, at the time not so much now, a major movie star the government kind of noticed that he wasn't paying them a nice chunk of change. Eight years later, hello, welcome to your three prison sentence. Though some are actually calling the trial a victory for Wesley Snipes because he ducked five of the eight charges including felony tax fraud and conspiracy. Wesley, however, made a last minute move to appease the government by cutting them a check for $5 million. It, uh, didn't work. The AP reports:

So taken aback were prosecutors that they first declined the cash. But by the end of the day, the government took the money and more — a maximum three-year sentence for its highest-profile criminal tax target in decades.
"The sentencing court sends the right message to the American taxpayer — you've got to pay your taxes," U.S. Attorney Robert O'Neill told reporters outside the usually quiet central Florida courthouse. "Rich, poor, it doesn't matter. We all pay our taxes."

Even stranger is the fact that, afterwards, Wesley Snipes was actually smiling outside the courthouse and flashing the peace sign. Somebody needs to explain to Blade that he's going to jail where his fellow inmates will pretend his ass is a vampire and you guys can do the math on what they'll use for a wooden stake. Answer key at the bottom. Please show your work.

Answer Key: X = The square root of a whole lotta butt sex.

Jan 11 2008Wesley Snipes owed taxes on $38 million (That’s a lot of cheddar)

Wesley Snipes faces trial for tax fraud on Monday and the IRS has revealed documents that show the actor failed to pay taxes on $37.9 million in income from 1999 to 2004. On top of that Wesley Snipes also tried to get fraudulent tax refunds for almost $11 million, according to Reuters:

Snipes, 45, was charged in a 2006 indictment along with a known tax protester and a former accountant whom the U.S. Justice Department said had been barred by a federal court from preparing other people's tax returns. The tax fraud occurred at a time when Snipes was signing movie deals worth more than $10 million each for "Blade II" and "Blade: Trinity," according to the prosecution's summary.

If Blade’s not paying his taxes, than neither am I! It’s a revolution, baby! WOO!!

Legal Notice: Anticlown Media in no way endorses the nonpayment of taxes by its employees or readers. Please be good citizens and file your income taxes with the appropriate agencies. If it makes you feel better, the Superficial Writer’s “revolution” only made it five steps to the employee lounge where he successfully dared our intern to eat a bunch of shrimp leftover from Christmas. On a related note, condolences to the family of Jimmy “Where’s my coffee, bitch?” Gunderson. He’ll be missed.

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