Jun 11 2009Usher files for divorce

Usher and his wife Tameka Raymond are hopping on the break-up bandwagon. Divorce papers were filed this morning, according to InTouch:

"The Grammy winner has been living apart from his wife for nearly a year after almost two years of marriage," the insider exclusively tells In Touch, adding, "Usher's primary concern is for his children. He is a great father and just wants to do what is right for them." The soon-to-be exes have two kids together, Usher Raymond V, 18 months, and Naviyd, 6 months. And the insider says that it's more than just talk -- the divorce papers were filed in Atlanta this morning.
And in February, In Touch revealed that although Usher flew to Tameka's side after she suffered cardiac arrest from cosmetic surgery in Brazil, he "had no idea that she was there to have surgery."

This explains why Usher was surrounded by strippers immediately after Tameka's near-death experience. Here I thought he was the Second Coming of Christ, and nobody wanted to admit it because he's black. (Don't act like it wouldn't happen.)

Mar 16 2009Usher celebrates wife's recovery - with strippers

Like any good husband whose wife almost died trying to make herself look beautiful for you, Usher celebrated Tameka's recovery in Paris by surrounding himself with strippers and spraying them with champagne. Which is pretty much the core to a successful marriage. Just ask my third wife once she's done packing her things and throwing my shit on the lawn. Love ya, babe!

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Feb 13 2009Usher's wife suffered cardiac arrest prior to liposuction

Usher's wife Tameka Raymond suffered a cardiac arrest last weekend forcing the singer to scrap his Grammy appearances and fly to Brazil. She was having liposuction performed just two months after giving birth to their second son when things went wrong. People reports:

"Tameka Raymond came here on Friday to do a liposuction. Shortly after she went under [general] anesthesia, she suffered a cardiac arrest," Dasptry tells PEOPLE.
Raymond never had the liposuction. According to Dasptry, after her cardiac arrest, Raymond was immediately revived and placed in an induced coma.
"When an attack like this happens, the doctors put the patient to sleep... and make sure that everything is okay and that there has not been any damage," explains Dasptry. "This is the protocol every time and this is what was done."

Tameka is doing "very well," according to the doctor who shot down criticisms that two months after giving birth is too soon for liposuction:

But Dasptry says Raymond met with her Brazilian surgeon Feb. 6 to undergo tests and was determined to be "in good health." "In plastic surgery all over the world, there is no rule that says a woman can't have plastic surgery performed two months after childbirth," says Dasptry.

You know who'd say something like that? A doctor who'll help me fulfill my dream of becoming a centaur. Get me on the next flight to Brazil.

Feb 9 2009Usher's wife in stable condition after surgery complications

Usher was forced to cancel his Grammy appearances on Satruday when his wife Tameka Foster Raymond suffered complications while getting plastic surgery in Brazil. No information has been given but recording mogul Clive Davis said there was "a serious injury in the family." According to a statement from Usher's rep today, Tameka is in stable condition. People reports:

"Tameka Raymond is in stable condition after suffering complications from routine surgery in Brazil. Her husband Usher is with her at the hospital," said the rep, Jeff O'Keefe, adding, "No further details will be released, and the family requests privacy at this difficult time."

I don't want to point any fingers here, but Chris Brown did it. Somebody had to say what we're all thinking.

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Jul 30 2007Usher cancels wedding

Usher was set to marry his pregnant girlfriend Tameka Foster over the weekend but the wedding was canceled at the last minute without explanation. The couple apparently only decided to get married two weeks ago and wanted it to take place before Tameka's baby bump started showing, but now nobody knows what the hell is going on. Guests were invited, tents were set up, all the help was hired, and at the last minute the whole thing was mysteriously called off. Usher's rep released the following statement:

"It was announced today that the wedding ceremony for Usher Raymond IV and Tameka Foster was canceled. No additional information will be given regarding the circumstances of the cancellation, but we hope the privacy of this matter will be respected."

I'm guessing somebody finally explained to Usher that after he gets married he won't be able to have sex with other women anymore. Then he let out a comical, "Say whaaa?" and called the whole thing off.